Skipping Christmas

Maddie&EthansMom wrote: We are skipping Christmas this year! We have decided not to do much in the way of decorations and we won't buy much for the kids. Technically we AREN'T skipping it, but just doing less. The kids have so many toys I don't know where I would put them and lately I have entered the minimalist state of mind where 'less is more'.

We are also leaving town on Christmas (for a few days) We will be staying in a cabin on a river in Oklahoma. It is very secluded and private with lots of stuff to do around there. Looking forward to not having the pressure of who to visit when and where to go what day, etc. It can be such a drag. We will have Santa at the cabin as well.

Kaitlin'smom replied: ahhh I wish I could get aways and not have the stress of the families oth wanting us all day christmas day. We have this year worked out from a deal we made last year but next year is going to be the problem . I did not put much out last year, I will do more this year as far as decorations.

Boys r us replied: Wow!!! That sounds fun, Aimee!

I keep saying every year that we're going to do fewer presents b/c our house is ridiculous, it's like a shrine to Braedon and Tanner with all of their junk..and most of it is just that, JUNK!
But it never seems to happen! Rick and I were just talking about christmas over email this morning and he said we need to go through some of their stuff and get rid of a bunch of it before christmas and I couldn't agree more! When we made plans to give the kids a trip to Disney world for christmas, we decided that we were going to lay off the presents and spend about half of the norm..I can already tell you..that's not happening! It's so hard! Skipping christmas is always easier said than done..at least in our house!

but, that said, I think YOUR christmas plans sound FANTASTIC!

JenniferAllen replied: What a great idea. As this being Matt's first Christmas and Hanukkah, I've decided that we are going to forgo the typical present fest. Instead, we'll try to go to midnight mass (who knows if he'll be quiet enough), see a menorah lighting, and rent a few movies. If I want to get him any presents, it'll be during the after-Christmas sales.

DansMom replied: Good for you!!

Last year my whole family FINALLY got on the same page and agreed that we wouldn't exchange with each other, and just give gifts to the kids. It was the first time I can remember as an adult in which I didn't have a lousy holiday season, and it was all due to the fact that I didn't have to go scrounging around the mall and downtown shops every night the week before Christmas trying to find token gifts for other people in my family, and I didn't have to receive a bunch of token gifts from others. It was great. Christmas is not supposed to be about shopping and going into debt, right?

One of my best memories---my mom was having a particularly difficult year financially. Instead of a cutting down a tree, she borrowed a manger from a farmer she knew and brought it into the house. We made all of our gifts to each other by hand (I made candles in a class at school), and placed them in the manger. My mom could sew and embroider, so I got a really beautiful velvet vest and a bean-bag mouse. My sister made a quilt for my mom. It was a very special Christmas for us---much more meaningful than any I can remember since.

coasterqueen replied: Ahh I wish we could do something like that. Have fun. We are thinking about doing "less" this year too..now if I can just hold myself to it. Kylie got sooo many toys for her birthday that she doesn't even play with all of them.

A&A'smommy replied: LOL your funny..going to the cabin sounds like it would be TONS more fun than visiting EVERYONE and spending tons of money on presents.

kimberley replied: you are soooooooooo lucky!!! i have always wanted to take off for christmas but i would have a bunch of angry grandparents hunting me down hope you have a great time

kit_kats_mom replied: Sounds like fun. Our family has had a "no gifts" rule except for people under 15. That makes it so much simpler. I love shopping for kids and seeing their glee on christmas morning but I don't think I've gotten a good gift from an adult in years.

I do love to be with family but since the baby is due on or near christmas this year, we will be spending a quiet time at home with K and we will try to make it very special for her...baking with me, decorating the tree etc...since it will be the last one with just her.

MomToJade&Jordan replied: We are going to try to have a small Christmas this year. All of our family lives on the East Coast of the mainland so we really don't have to worry about that. In fact I am looking forward to being able to spend the Holidays with family next year (It's been 3 since I have been in the same place with family during the Holidays). I joined a Disney Movie club for Jade the other day and will be receiving three free movies for that. I guess I have officially started Jade's shopping. I agree about the toys. Jade just has so many. So it will be movies and clothes this year, maybe a toy or two. I guess we will see. My side of the family actually does a lot and Thanksgiving. First they put all the Parents names in the hat (Grandparents are exempt because thay always buy for all the kids, plus everyone always seems to get them stuff as well). You chose the amount of Parents out of the hat. Basically my parents have to buy a gift for two parents every year. Then they do the kids. Zack and I haven't been in the lot for a while because we can't afford to buy presents for all of these people. It seems to work every year and everyone gets a present. We are going to do a potluck Christmas with our friends in the courtyard and probably a gift exchange for the kids. There will be lots of food and we always have fun with our Air Force "Family".

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I have set a limit to how much I will spend on the kids for Christmas. I should have done this a long time ago. I am having the hardest time finding things for Maddie. She likes EVERYTHING, but she doesn't play with all of her toys as it is. So, I will start small and may even do some after Christmas shopping (like someone else mentioned). I don't want gifts from my family nor do I want them to buy gifts for us. I would like to just have a small family party after the holidays maybe. Mine and Scotty's anniversary is on December 20th and we always get shorted b/c we spend so much on the family. If they buy us things I feel guilty and want to buy them something and we just don't have the money. We have had some difficult years and we have been wanting to get away for a long time, we just haven't had the opportunity and it just so happens that Christmas falls at a really good time this year and we are able. We recently had a big blow up with my family and since he lost his mother 5 years ago he has been wanting to get away and regroup. Christmas was her favorite holiday and it isn't the same without her...he can't handle being with his sister and father on Christmas without his mother being there....It isn't the same at all.

Kimberly-trust me, my mother will be FUMING, but that is all the better reason to not be there. No false expectations from us.

This will be good for all of us. I'm tired of trying to please so many people. I just want to be with my family and do my thing. Scotty feels the same way. It is too much stress on us if we try to please everyone else and not each other.

The cabin is awesome. Complete with a jacuzzi tub for 2!! Hey, our kids are still young! They have a complete kitchen (with microwave, stove, sink, dishwasher, fridge, etc) They provide linens and cooking utensils. It has a fireplace and grill outside on the wooden deck overlooking the river. They provide a canoe and 2 mountain bikes are awaiting your arrival on the deck!! We will be there for 3 nights. I'm so looking forward to it. I think it is just what we need. I am going to e-mail them and see if it is okay for us to bring a christmas tree into the cabin. TeeHee! I plan on doing some old fashion Christmas things like stringing popcorn and making our own ornaments on Christmas eve.

Didn't mean for this to turn into a huge post....sorry!

Alice replied: You sound so excited: I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time!!

BUT.... I couldn't do it. (Oh, I could do the going away part, just not the skipping Christmas.) Sorry,but I love it love it love it. I love the shopping and the cards and decorating the tree and Santa at the mall. I love Christmas Eve mass and Advent wreaths and asking the kids what gifts they think the Wise Men brought (my favorite answer: from Brian when he was about 3: "diapers, wipes and a rattle.") I love trying to find the right gift for everyone. Yes, I go into debt, but it's short term and nothing that we can't get out of. (And my husband is a saint-- he knows how important it is to me.)

So I'm happy that you guys will finally be doing what you want this year. I'll be up to my eyeballs in wrapping paper, but I'll be doing what I want too. Isn't that what it's supposed to be about?

PS: There's a novel out there named "Skipping Christmas". It was entertaining.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: That sounds so wonderful! I wish DH and I could do something like that! Christmas for us is crazy! Opening presents in the morning at our house, going to my inlaws, going to my parents! We have only had Christmas dinner at our house once and I don't think that will ever happen again! It's hard for my children, now that they are older to be shuffled from one house to the next! They're bored and want to play with the new toys they got! I swear when my children get married and have kids, we will celebrate Christmas on Boxing Day! That way they can enjoy Christmas with there own little families!

MommyToAshley replied: Good for you Amy! Sounds like you are going to be having a wonderful FAMILY Christmas. It sounds so nice, and I am glad that Scotty wants the same thing as you. I can't wait to hear all the details (well maybe not all the jacuzzi details )

ediep replied: oh Aimee, that cabin sounds awesome!! I would love that!!!!

I definately will not be buying toys for Jason for Christmas, he has so many it is out of control. we are running out of room. I may just get some clothes for the spring and leave it at that. We'll see

3_call_me_mama replied: You all are way stronger than I could ever be!! LOL! DH an d i made a deal to cut back this year but I can already tell that we aren't. We agreed to only get Cameron a big present adn a few small things, but as the holidays get closer I am finding it really hard not to shop! As someone else already said I LOVE IT!" I love the holiday season but not the last minute shopping. I just like the decorations, the music and all the stuff with out the stress. So we won't be skipping christmas, but the cabin sounds LOVELY!!

Jamison'smama replied: We are doing Christmas differently around here this year also---we have traditionally gone to Oklahoma for my family and right across the border into Texas for his family every year---but with Jon losing his mother this year and my due date being January3rd we are having all my family join us in Ohio---we have rented a cabin to sleep 10 and we will stay there and enjoy Christmas together--only gifts for children and small stocking stuffers for the adults. My DH and I are donating all the money we would pay for gifts for each adult to the orphanage where my nephew was living a little more than one year ago.

THat's it for us---we needed to get back to the true meanings of Christmas---God, family and giving.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

Great idea!! I love the idea of donating the $$ to the orphanage.

I felt we needed to get back to the basics as well. We really let it slip away. Hopefully we can start a tradition and do this every year. I was even thinking of doing 3 gifts each for the kids, just like Jesus got on Christmas from the wise men. Of course we would buy them a few things from us, too. But not much. Anyway, I'm making a list of things I would like to do and stories I would like to share from the Bible and from when DH and I were kids. Maddie loves to hear those stories and it will give us a chance to honor his mother.

Of course we will bake cookies and wrap gifts together, but we will also help the needy at the local soup kitchen and help out those that won't have a home to celebrate Christmas in.

Josie83 replied: Sounds like a good idea! I love the idea of going away somewhere for Christmas. I'm not sure what we're doing yet this year. I really want to take Cassie and spend Christmas up with Jason's parents and his brothers, but my mum always kicks up a real fuss about how Christmas is si important (we're Catholics) and she always wants me and my brothers and sisters to spend it with her. the way she's been with cassie, though, i really don't want to be with her on Christmas. Its always such a big headache! I hope you have a great time, it souns like you will. I'm so jealous!! xx

Alice replied:
That's NOT FAIR!!! They're kids, they should be home for Christmas. Can't you call your parents and inlaws, and announce that from now on, you're hosting Christmas?? Everyone is invited, but you will be staying home with your kids. Then do it!

ediep replied:
I love this idea!

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

Alice I would do this, but my parents won't come to our house to celebrate Christmas. My mother is a brat when it comes to what she wants. She threw a fit last year b/c we wouldn't stay for Santa at her house. We wanted Maddie to be home for Santa. Of course she will be at the cabin this year, but my point is that we would like to create our own traditions and have it be really small. I may invite some family over for a little Christmas party. We have major family issues with my brothers, though and we don't want them here. My parents feel as though we should all celebrate Christmas as a family and they won't come here without my brothers. You would think we were all 2 years old. My brothers act as though they are juveniles, but they are over 30. I think it is time to move on and have our own Christmas. My parents can do what they want. I don't have to be a part of it anymore. I've had a really tough year...this really has nothing to do with Christmas for me. Scotty and I just really feel like we need to have some time away from the extended families and make some great memories with our own little family. I really really love Christmas. It is a special time of year....especially when you have children. I tend to overdo and lose focus so easily around the holidays. I want to really focus on my family this year and doing some intimate special things with them and not have to worry about what everyone else expects from us.

I just didn't want anyone to think I am anti-Christmas, because that really isn't it at all. Instead it is all about my 'issues'. But, I will in no way deprive the kids of fun b/c of 'my issues.' I think it will be fun.