Should I worry?

Insanemomof3 wrote: Everytime I let the kids spend the night with my MIL, Tristan comes home with a BAD attitude. He is really MEAN. Not just his normal stuff. A lot worse than that. When we dropped them off the other night, he cried and didn't want to stay there, then when he came home, he was crazy. It is still pretty bad today. I just don't know what to do with him.

mckayleesmom replied: Personally I would take that as a sign that maybe things arn't all hunky dory over there when you leave. Maybe she is not very nice to them once you arn't there to wittness anything.

amymom replied:
I agree, I would look into it more. Kids have a way of letting us know they are not happy.

mckayleesmom replied: Also..have you ever watched the news when people catch their babysitters, nannys, home nurses on a nanny cam abusing their kids? They always say that they got the nanny cam when they noticed their childrens behavior change.

DansMom replied:
Is he old enough to talk to you about what's upsetting him? I agree that it seems like a red flag. If you aren't required to give them visitation (I don't know if you are or not), perhaps you could tell them you won't be sending your kids over there until you figure out why Tristan is so upset about going there and so hostile when he returns. Who else is in the household besides your MIL? I would be concerned too---you are right to obey your instincts.

Insanemomof3 replied: Tristan is only 3 1/2 so I don't think he will tell me yet. But I do wonder. She runs a daycare in her home as well, and I have seen that she is not nice to the kids. Nothing really bad, just not as nice as she is to her kids. I don't know though, I guess I was hoping that maybe she would be nice to her GRANDKIDS, but I guess not.

Also, Tristan was getting really good about sitting on the potty, now he seems afraid of it. This is the second time we have been thrown off the potty wagon LOL. I guess, they will NEVER go there again. Sad.

Why are people that way? I know that my MIL hates me. But why take that out on my kids? They are her SONS kids too? I don't know what her problem is. She has hated me since I was 9 years old. Am I THAT bad of a person?

luvbug00 replied: No!! But It sounds like she's scaring him to go to the potty. I would look into it ASAP!!

mckayleesmom replied: I don't know...but I would be contacting the better buisness buero....wouldn't you want to know if someone was being mean to your kids.....Or I would steal her contact list to the kids parents and rat her out.

Insanemomof3 replied: Duh, I should have thought of doing that. My brain is gone. LOL That is a good idea I will do that.

b&bsmom replied: I agree something isn't right. I would not leave them if you aren't with him if you aren't going to be there or someone else you trust. What does her son have to say about it.

Insanemomof3 replied: LOL James doesn't like his own mother. So he would not care if they never went there again I am sure. hehe I just think that they will stay close to us from now on. I want to make sure they have proper care and treatment.

Josie83 replied: I don't know, I think taking her contacts and calling other parents is a bit harsh until you know what's going on, but that's my personal opinion. any chance you could ring her up and ask if she can think of a reason why he would be acting like this? I remember Dee Dee saying Ashley was a bit funny when she came back from her grandparents, so maybe its just the change of scenery. If I were you I'd sweat it out and he should be back to normal in a few days. Keep us posted! xx

Boys r us replied: Hmm I don't know. When Braedon comes home from Rick's parents house from the weekend, he's a monster. But it's not because he's mistreated there, it's because they spoil him and cater to him so much. My MIL has told me that when he's there, she doesn't do anything but play with him, she said she "can't" do any house work b/c he demands her attention. I just laughed and thought, YOU LET HIM CONTROL YOU..otherwise how do think my house stays clean? He's with me everyday.
So he comes home and rebels against any type of rules we have because he hasn't had any for 2 days!
That may be the case in your son's case too.

mckayleesmom replied:
She said that her mother in law is mean to the other children...thats why I would steal the contact list....I would only hope that someone would steal my daycare providers list and call me if my child was mistreated.

Insanemomof3 replied: I have lived with her...so I have SEEN how she is. Like I said, she doesn't beat them or anything, but she does not treat them the way they should be treated. I just decided that the boys will not go over there overnight again.

As for getting the contact list, I think that will be tough for me to do since I NEVER go there...and she is really paranoid, won't let anyone alone long enough to snoop around.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: As sad as it is I know that because of some issues with my SIL...WHOLE OTHER TOPIC...our family is cut off from my inlaws. They chose sides and it wasn't with us! But before it got really bad(my MIL was already blameing me but not to the extent it got to) we let her babysit one night(for the first time and only for around 2 hours) and when we came home our daughter told me that she didn't have to listen to me because grandma would take care of her! So since you said your MIL doesn't like you,you NEVER know what your kids could be hearing! I would say go with your heart and if it is not going to cause problems between you and hubby limit their contact and see if that helps! It is soooo sad to me but we don't speak to inlaws at all anymore (husband's call not mine) BUT the peace is restored in our home!!!

JessC replied:
I agree with bri, other people need to know what is going on over there.

But I definitly wouldnt take them over there unless you can really trust her again!! Hope things go well, and do rat her out if she needs it. Its so sad how people treat kids these days.

MommyToAshley replied:
Ashley was this way for the same reason as Braedon... she was spoiled by MIL. Ashley just adores MIL and MIL gives Ashley an abundance of attention and gives her just about anything she wants. MIL admits to spoiling her but says that's what grandma's are for. I think Ashley was expecting the same thing when she got home and didn't like it when she had rules again. The other thing is that Ashley had nightmares but I think it was because we left her with MIL for three days and she has never been away from us that long. But, Ashley wants to go back to MIL and always asks when she can go again. From everything you have said, I think your situation is a little different and I think you have made the right decision to not leave them with your MIL until you know for sure what goes on.

Insanemomof3 replied: Thank you guys for the support. I feel bad that I left him there the other night when he clearly didn't want to stay. But we all make mistakes right? I just won't make the mistake again. I see any sign that he doesn't want to be there, I will just take him home. Luckily, we have no plans where we need to take him there again.

It is really hard here though. We don't have many friends, and know no one who can watch the kids. The only family close by is her. The next closest is my mom...5 hours away.

But things will get better I am sure.