Should I take the high road or the low road? - Very long....

boobies4virtue wrote: My BIL's wife annoys me. I've been wanting to get this out for so long, but I don't want anyone to think I'm a bad or mean person.
She was my teacher in H.S. We didn't see eye to eye. I was a difficult teenager and feel bad for anyone who had to put up with me. However, I have come to realixe that she is an evil manipulative person! Ok, so evil might be stretching it, but...
Her and BIL were going to get married this past May. That was cool. Then she got pregnant a few months after I did. They moved the wedding date up to my EDD. Which was fine, I understand that she wanted to be married before she had the baby. They changed my EDD after my second U/S. (about 2 weeks) She moved the Wedding back 2 weeks and 1 Day. 3 days after my EDD. She lost her baby. I felt horrible and had a hard time being comfortable around her b/c I've been there and I know how much it hurts. So, I had another U/S and they moved my EDD back to the original one. She changed her wedding date again. Now, by this point in time, I was kind of getting irritated, But i'm a very non-confrontational kind of person. So I let it slide with only one comment which was "well, you might not have a best man!" (dh was supposed to be their best man) in a joking, light tone. She answers with "why not?" I said, "uh, well, that's my due date, what if i'm in labor?" She says, "well, he'd only have to be there for about 1-2 hours. He wouldn't necessarily have to stay at the reception."
Ok, so now I was kinda fuming b/c I'm thinking, *does she actually think that if I'm having our baby that he's going to leave, go to her wedding and come back and chance missing her birth?* And I think she did.
So the date of both big events were getting closer and I ended up having DD the day before their wedding. Ray didn't get any sleep, but went to their wedding and did his duty as best man and all anyway, as I would have wantd him to. He left the reception early b/c he was exhausted and he had a less than 24 hr old baby that he wanted to look at and admire.
She was upset by this because It threw off the bridal dance and they had to have someone not wearing a tux do it and it looked funny. My thought was "Oh F***ing well. "
Then she got pregnant again and decides to announce it at my DD's party to celebrate her baptism. Wouoldn't have had a problem with it if it hadn't been for the previous stuff.
So today I was talking to Dh's Step sis and step mom and it comes out that when they m/c their baby, she made the comment to them (the step sis and mom) that It shows how unfair life is, her baby was the one that didn't make it and yet, our did. That it wasn't fair b/c we couldn't take care of a baby, etc.
Now I know full well that this was grief talkng, but COME ON! WTH!
I am so mad and I want to say something to her, but she is preg with a difficult pregnancy at the moment and I don't want to upset her any or tick the BIL off at me. But I really want to say something!
WWYD?

luvbug00 replied: OH she totally did it all to spite you. She moved the date to overshaddow your daughters birth. She wants to be the families #1 perdon and her child to be the #1 child in the family. what a stinker I'd never let my hubby go do anything for her again ( if it were me he wouldn't have gone to the ceremony either.) But you are kind and I am not! I'd be soo immiture about this so I really can't help you. But I hope you can talk to her or somthing after the pregnancy is over. ( I'd personally find some evil immiture way to have her big day hogged. )

gr33n3y3z replied: ignore her bc you have to be the better person

boobies4virtue replied: So i'm not just being petty and paranoid and stuff?

luvbug00 replied: Ohh no I'd make a kill!! Seriously though I think you have every right to be agitated.

boobies4virtue replied: well good then! CAUSE I DON'T LIKE HER!!!! And i've wanted to say that for sooooooo long!

gr33n3y3z replied:
Nope she was down right rude

but like I said you have to be the better person

BC ppl. like her live miserable lives

huggybugboy replied: Im so sorry! I understand being unconfrontational. I know I would want to say something but I probably wouldnt (that just being me). She should be grateful that your dh even went to the wedding right after having a baby, let alone being best man! Im sorry again. I wish I had advice but I dont, just wanted to give you some

boobies4virtue replied:
awww thank you!

amymom replied:

I totally agree with Lisa. You have every right to feel the way you do. However, You must be the 'grownup' here since you obviously have matured and she isn't. Just let it run off your back, she is not worth the confrontation. JMO

mckayleesmom replied: I say...take the high road. Just ignore her and kill her with kindness if thats what it takes. This is your husbands brothers wife and you don't want to drive a wedge in between brothers....kwim. Just take comfort in your family and let it go....Life is to short to give in to ignorance and rudeness.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I completely agree with Lisa as well. Good luck with your decision.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: Sounds like you have a very jealous SIL! I agree with everyone though you need to be the one who takes the high road on this one because believe me-the minute you say or do something spiteful she will milk it for all its worth! Look at what she did to me!!! Just bite your tounge as much as you can and know that you do take care of your sweet baby AND you are obviously much happier than she is! And when she is a real B**CH you can email me with all the things you wish you could have said to her and I will reply with all the things I wish I could say to my SIL!!!!

boobies4virtue replied:
Lol! The NICE Sil's unite!

~Roo'sMama~ replied:
Yep I agree too! I would be so mad if I were you but being mean to her back isn't going to help anything and then you'd just be stooping to her level, and just talking to her about it probably wouldn't do any good either and it might cause problems between your Dh and his brother. I'm sorry you have to deal with it though!

My2Boyz replied: I would be very angry and it would be hard to contol it, because I don't mind speaking my mind. I have learned from my DH that I should always try when possible to do the right thing and be the better person, and in the end it usually ends up working to my favor. I hope it all works out for you, I know you are struggling with it internally and that it is difficult.

MissyKay2005 replied:
I agree here! She is miserable and wants others to be as well. the best thing to do is ignore it all. Be the better person and don't let it get to you. I know thatis the hardest thing to do when some one is being that way. but it is always better in the long run. Hope it all works out for you.

My2Beauties replied: Er I'm going to be the oddball here, I wouldn't do it now during her pregnancy, but as soon as she made one more comment, right after that baby was born - I would let her have it She was acting like a rude winch so you have the right to act like one back. Yeah unconfrontational is a great way to be, but it's not me honey An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, a winch for a winch!!!!

boobies4virtue replied: Thanks for all your help and support guys! Now I don't feel bad for being upset!

NummyMommy replied:
I kinda agree with hannasmommy here....I wouldnt say anything during her pregnancy but if it continues after (and lets hope it doesnt because can you imagine a child being raised like that???) I would calmly sit her down (lay her out w/e works) and explain that now she is a mother too she needs to start acting like an adult. But be prepared for it not to work. some people never grow up.



BTW This is a much more mature post then I had orginally planned....which included snarky remarks like "Is she still in High School?" and something along the lines of meow meow meow. So I guess I still have some growing up to do too?