Sensitive Issue with me... Advice please

mummy2girls wrote: Ok Around Christmas we are announcing to our families that me and Marcus are getting hitched! I have been talking to my sister on the phone a few times already and she doesnt know yet but she keeps saying to me that she feels marcus will propose soon( HEHEHE) anyways she said she is driving down from Prince George to be there for it and that she better be the maid of honor and if not she will cry and be mad at me. Ok this is my issue. I dont want her to be mine and i feel she does not deserve that title. Why? well because she has done so much to hurt me. when i was pregnant with jenna for the whole first trimester she begged me to have an abortion and then when i was past that point told me i better give her up for adoption because i wont be able to handle it as a single mom and made me so stressed and made me feel like a piece of crap! Then she accused me of sleeping with her ex hubby( her daughters dad) and that i wanted to be with him... WTF is that all about! And she uses me as a babysitter and bank when she was a single mom. GRRRRR. I want Marcus's sister to be my maid of honor. She has been there for me in many ways and i always could count on a "supportive" shoulder when i need to talk. She has done more for me in the 12 months i have known her to the many years i have known my sister! Plus if it wasnt for marcus's sister there wouldnt be a marcus and me:) And to add my sister have been married 3 times and i have been a part of none!!!!she never asked me to be her maid of honor or bridesmaid in any of them and niether jenna...so im a little bitter...LOL so i am goign to tell her when we announce the engagement but how would you go about doing it in my shoes?

luvbug00 replied: ITA with you. Being a maid of honor isn't about blood. It's about the person who has been there for you the most in your life. Who's been helpful to the groth of your relationship with your FH and giving you advice and support. I think Marcus's sister has earned that role from what you have said.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I would just tell it like it is! You don't want her to be your Maid of Honour because you've already chosen someone! I'm so happy for you!

Kaitlin'smom replied: If your anything like me you dont want conflict, however in this case I would simple state the facts (all you listed or at least some like well you got married 3 times and you never asked me to be a part of it, ect) and ask her why she would think she deserves to be Maid of Honor. From what I have read of her in the past she would be lucky to even be invited. She has no right to try and claim that title or to make you feel bad if you dont pick her. I say go with your gut and ask Marcus sister and tell your sister if she asked I already have a maid of honor.

lisar replied:
I totally agree.

Insanemomof3 replied: I would just tell her how it is. Tell her how you feel....Let her have it for once. You are such a nice person...I think you need to lose the nice girl for a minute to let her know how you feel.

DansMom replied: She's manipulating you. It's especially telling that she's never asked you to be her maid of honor with three chances to do so. I think you can remind her of that fact if she gets huffy.

Mommy2Isabella replied: Tell it like it is, like most have already said!

bunkie replied:
I agree with everyone and especially this quote.

Good luck to you and Congrats!!

Calimama replied: I agree with the above posters.. I'm sure she'll get over it.

mummy2girls replied:
you dont know my sister. she loves to hold a grdge for a looooooooong time!

luvbug00 replied: I think with the jenna comments ( regardless of wiether she was still in the mommy belly spa or born) Would be enough for her to be extremely lucky your speaking to her at all!

Kaitlin'smom replied:
sounds like my eldest sister. with all the BS she has given you, I worry that if you did cave she would ruion it for you, its not her day and if she is anything like my eldest she will try and make it about her. really its about you, Marcus and Jenna becoming a family I would only surround your self with those who care most about you, and if she cant handle not being MOH then its HER problem.

mummy2girls replied:
oh i wont cave. im asking marcus's sister for sure! I just feel if i say no and tell her who is then she will have a bird and then it will come down to me not inviting her because i know she will cause a huge scene. I just dont know how to drop the biomb that she is not the MOH but she can come still if she wants...

mummy2girls replied:
oh i know. she really hurt me in that respect. And if i would of listened to her and believed her then jenna would not be a part of my life...

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I'm so sorry Shelly. That sounds awful. ITA with just telling her that she had three chances to ask you to be in her wedding, and she didn't, so what goes around comes around. Or however the saying goes! Yeah she can hold a grudge, but do you really care at this point? Give her the option to come or not and then leave it at that.

mummy2girls replied:
nope i dont care expecially because she is all the way in british columbia...LOL.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
Well there you go!!!! GL sweetie.

A&A'smommy replied: I think having Marcus's sister as your MOH is SOO wonderful Shelly!!! I hope it goes well telling your ummm sister how it is, she definitely does NOT deserve to be in the position... maid of honor is an honor and she has been horrible to you!!! Anyway I'm SOOO excited for you guys!!!!

mummy2girls replied:
I think Marcus's sister will be so touched she will bawl when i ask her:)

A&A'smommy replied:
awwwww

Kaitlin'smom replied:
yep make sure you bring a BOX of tissues with you when you ask. I think your both gonna need them.

mummy2girls replied:

Kaitlin'smom replied:
<passing you a tissue>

already need one huh?

mummy2girls replied:
yes

amymom replied: Well I wouldn't wait until you are announcing your engagement. Tell her next time she brings it up. After she brings up the stuff about being there and being MOH etc., say something like... You know sister dear, I have been thinking and when we do get engaged, I really do not plan to invite you to be the MOH, I have other plans but I will be sure to keep you informed of all of them. Would you like to.... then say whatever it is you are willing to have her do. Even if it is just have her dd be in the wedding party, or have her check on the photographer. Whatever it is, you can handle it now rather than waiting and letting her spoil your happy event.