Repeating Kindergarten - Opinions

julesmom wrote: Birthday is 3 1/2 mths before cutoff. What is your opinion on repeating K? What if speech articulation was the problem?
(DD gets speech therapy every other day.)

grapfruit replied: My niece repeated 1st grade but it might of been better had it been kindergarten. She's THRIVING now, so it ended up being a good choice. I'd say if you're going to do it, 1st or Kindergarden is the BEST time, b/c the rest of the kids forget...

Jamison'smama replied: What does her kindergarten teacher say?

msoulz replied: My son's birthday is Oct 24 and our cutoff is Dec 1. The preschool told us they couldn't challenge him academically with their program, but he was "young", so we weren't sure what to do. We put him in K at 4 and talked to his teacher right away about it. Long story short, at the end of the year she recommended he go through again, or "have another year to be a kid" so he did repeat K. He is now in 3rd grade and is doing so very well. He still has some issues with sitting still and paying attention, but so do many of the kids. He plays sports with some of the kids in the grade ahead still because of his birthday and that works out just fine. He only had one time where one of his older friends said "you should be in first grade" when he was still in K, but it wasn't malicious, it was an observation. He has never had any kids tease him or anything. I think it was the perfect time to have him repeat.

Now Erin's birthday is Nov 12 so we will have the same decision to make with her. But she is a different kid and already we see she is more interested in books, letters, numbers, etc. so she may be more ready, but then, maybe not.

TrulyBlessed replied: We put our daughter in begindergarten or young fives when she first started school because she did not pass the kindergarten testing. We felt it was better to give her a running start to school in the beginning instead of having her held back in 3rd or 4th grade. She is now in 3rd grade and is doing awesome. I do not regret this decision.

Our other daughter will go for kindergarten testing soon and if they recommend the begindergarten program, I will do it all over again.

My advice is to follow your gut feeling, your mommy and you know what is best for your child.

Good Luck!!

julesmom replied:
Her teacher is the one that brought it up. DD has a hard time pronoucing certain letters, and the teacher thinks that would make it even harder for her to learn to read. The classroom teacher said the ST is also concerned. I plan on speaking to the ST about it too.

At the end of prek, her prek teacher said she wasn't ready for K. I went ahead with K screening, where I was told she wasn't ready; memory and processing were concerns. I put her in K anyway.

Now she's more then 1/2 way done with K and I am torn. I don't want her to be made fun of for repeating. I don't think she'd realize she's in K again, but other kids probably would. But I've been working on letter sounds with her and she just doesn't seem to get it. kwim? But she tries so hard, which is what her teacher also said. How hard she tries has her teacher on the fence. (It's ultimately my decision, but the teacher can make suggestions.)

DD told me the other day that she has stuff in her head, but she just can't get the words out. I thought that was an excellent observation on her part. She's smart enough to know what she wants to say, but just can't find the right words. It really surprised me that she is that aware.

The teacher also mentioned that she still plays with baby dolls. What else is a 5 year old supposed to play with? She's not into the bratz dolls, thank goodness, or barbies. She is currently into hanna montana, but loves her babies. I guess that's a sign of maturity?

msoulz replied: My son was not, and is still not made fun of for repeating despite still having friends in the grade above him. If the teachers are telling you she needs more time in K it would likely be a good idea. I believe it feels much better for my son to be a ahead of the curve at this point instead of being average (which is where he was academically after his first year of K) if we had pushed him ahead. JMHO

Our district started the equivalent of the begindergarten the year my son went to K the second time . And they do not test before entering K since most of the kids go to preschool. It's a tough decision but I have not known anyone to say they regretted holding the child back - I know several who wish they had.

maestra replied: I've retained and seen a couple of kids retained before at k, and it doesn't seem to be much of a big deal, like another person said. It's better to give her more time now, rather than push her if she's not ready. One more year might give her the confidence she needs. (I'm a first grade teacher, k for the last 4 years).


I hope that helps!

MommyToAshley replied: I volunteer in my daughter's school every Friday for creative writing. She's in Kindergarten and there is a girl in the class that is repeating the grade. She does kindergarten for the half-day and then goes to 1st grade for reading group for the second half of the day (I guess it's to give her a head start for next year). If it weren't for the fact that this little girl goes to another class for the second half of the day, the kids wouldn't know any different. And, it doesn't seem to be a big deal to the kids ... they all wish they could go to 1st grade too. I don't think kids this age make fun of each other. Unfortunately, they learn to be cruel as they get older.

julesmom replied: Another concern is that she'll be the tallest and oldest in elementary school. I know kids are held back bc they have Fall bdays, but dd is late August.
It is such a tough decision, imho. On one hand I feel she is my youngest and that just gives her more time. Then I am concerned about mean kids as she gets older.
Another issue is my 2 ds who are dylexic. I am concerned she also is dyslexic and then retention wouldn't really do much. She'd still need services and then she'd be the oldest, tallest, and be pulled out for reading help.
See how hard this is?

amynicole21 replied: If it were up to me and I was on the fence, I'd hold her back now. Our cut off is 9/1 and Sophia was born on 9/4. I was upset that she'd be the oldest at first, but honestly I think it will give her more confidence later on. If the teachers have doubts, I think I'd err on the side of safety. They see a lot of kids and have a good idea of who is struggling and who is flying through. Good luck with your decision.

mom21kid2dogs replied: I have to tell you that IRL, I've never known of someone who made the decision to retain and lived to regret it. That being said, most do agonize over it, though. There is a girl in Olivia's class that was retained in K and she has an early summer birthday (cutoff here is Set 30). To date (they've been in the same class for 2 years now) I've never heard O or anyone in her class/school mention it. They all talk about the kid who got moved up though. It's a much more unusual situation here than retention so that was the big deal in her school. Go figure!

My SIL was faced with this decision twice already and her son is in 5th grade now. She never chose to retain. Her son has significant speech and other sensory/learning integration issues. He does get speech therapy and has for years. His other issues go largely unaddressed by his family and the school. School has been a very serious struggle for him on all levels and he really doesn't like it. Aside from the obvious learning challenges he's faced some of it is probably attributable to the fact that he is somewhat less mature than his peers and has a pretty shy, inward personality.

I think the size thing evens out alot as they age. (Plus she'll be the first one to drive in her class! A big boon when she's older )I'm actually shocked your daughter has had to deal with "mean" comments already. I know O did in Kindy. The same girl I referred to earlier used to make fun of O because she didn't read as well as her. Inwardly, it broke my heart that she already had to deal with this crap. Outwardly, we used it as a discussion/learning moment on how to deal with it. The point is, these things all happen whether kids are retained or not.

In re-reading all you've written, it appears that twice now she's been tagged as not being ready to advance to a new level. Perhaps in the next year, if you retain, you can work with the school & ST to develop a better learning plan for your daughter. Perhaps she would benefit from more indepth testing at this point. Many people are not aware that you can request this long before 3rd grade (the norm for such testing). Because she already has an ST, she has her foot in the door (if she doesn't have an IEP already). She can be referred for IEP services or a 504 plan to if her testing warrants she needs additional services. This way, you might feel a little more proactive about the retention than just letting it "happen", KWIM.

I agree, these situations are not easy nor are they generally black & white. As her mom, when armed with all the info, I'm sure you'll make a good decision for her.

julesmom replied: DD hasn't had to deal with meanness yet. I am sorry if I had posted that. I am worried about her dealing with meanies in later grades.

Auburn replied: We moved from SC to WI this past year right after our daughter (Lily) finished kindergarten. When we got to putting her in first grade in WI they tested her and said there was no way she would make it through their version of first grade. SC schools are just too far behind WI in standards. After many of the thoughts and worries you have had we decided that we would rather let her repete K as opposed to chancing her having the experience of failure. BEST THING WE COULD HAVE DONE!!!!! I hated it at the time but it has done her so much good. The kids did not know the differance at all. She has shined this year and her attitude is so much better since her maturity level risen. She is confident and does not get frusterated like she used to. I see the sign frequently that says almost all kids who start off behind never do quite catch up. I am very happy to say that Lily did not have to start off behind. Just my 2 cents worth.

julesmom replied:
This is what is going to happen now, finally. The classroom teacher has been spending more one on one with dd and has noticed some things that concern her. I've noticed them, but hey, I'm just the mom.
So now dd will go for further evaluation, since she isn't getting it. Some days she is and some days she isn't.
The teacher doesn't seem too eager to classify or recommend services, but at least the issues are getting some attention.
If dd had to repeat, I'd have no problem. But just doing the ABCs again, with no extra help is useless. I honestly think she is also dyslexic, but again, I am just a mom. I'll just have to keep quietly pushing for further testing, even if it just rules out dyslexia. It might just be the way dd is, but I'd like to know for sure what is going on, not just have her repeat.
The teacher also said she is immature emotionally. That I do see, but mostly just in this classroom. I think she knows she is struggling and that is affecting her. She is showing alot of physical signs of anxiety lately. And no, we don't discuss retention in front of her or even within ear shot.
The teacher is going to try and talk to her and calm down some of her anxiety. Hope that helps, but honestly I think it'll just draw more attention to her issues and dd will feel worse. We'll see.

Can I scream now?!