Really not sure I can do this any more

Josie83 wrote: OKay forgive me for this totally self-indulgent vent because I know I don't have it bad . But I'm really not sure I can do all this any more. I am not really enjoying school because of the amount of work and time its taking up. I don't know if I ever explained but I didn't actually start my first year after Cassie was born, i sort of did a few classes in the hope that it wouldn't be so difficult when I officially started my first year this September. Since Christmas though it is just taking up all of my time. It is important to me but obviously my husband and child are THE most important things in my life and I feel like I'm not seeing them enough . I don't like the fact that Cassie's starting nursery after Easter and I will see her even less . I am so tired when I come in that after bathing Cassie an dputting her to bed I just want to go to bed myself, which isn't fair on Jason. I never have the itme or energy to do anything around the house. I am not a crier but the other day i just broke down in tears because I don't think i could cope. I know its only for three years and Jason graduates soon but I don't know if I can cope . . . I just want to be a stay at home mummy for ever1

Kaitlin'smom replied: can you cut back a class or two?

kit_kats_mom replied: oh, honey...feel free to vent away. Education isn't easy but it is so important. My life has changed signifcantly since receiving my Bachelors right before Katherine was born. Granted, I was able to get it out of the way before having K but the fact that I did get my degree played a huge part in me being able to work from home and enjoy my children's first year.

Can you cut back to part time studies and maybe only put Cassie in nursery two or three days a week? It would take longer but at least you wouldn't feel like you missed out on her childhood and you'd be accomplishing the same goal, just a little slower. If it helps any, it took me 10 years to get my degree after going part time to college the whole time. UGH!

ETA, no matter what decision you make, Cassie will understand. Also, keep in mind that no matter what, we all feel overwhelmed much of the time. Even when I don't have any work to do for my company (yeah right, that never happens LOL) I still am stressed about getting dinner ready, laundry done, everyone out of the house for family time at least once a week, stimulating the baby, that stray hair on my chin that I've been meaning to pluck for over a week now etc. Even SAHM's get overwhelmed...it's just some wierd thing with us ladies. Drives me crazy when my DH can just let it go and plop down on the couch after dinner.

DansMom replied: I really feel for you. I think I can relate in some ways, in that I work full time and am exhausted by the time Daniel goes to bed---DH definitely gets the short end of the stick all the time. On the other hand, I at least don't have to do homework in the evening, and I can't imagine it---you must be wiped out and missing your little girl so much. Vent as much as you like! I think these are just the kind of issues that bring us all here to the forum for support and advice.

A&A'smommy replied: I'm sorry hun I know you have been feeling this way for a while.... I wish I had some advice but I would probably say the wrong thing.. ((((HUGS)))

loveydad replied: I'm so sorry sweetie! Wish things were better

jcc64 replied: I have a girlfriend going through this. She has 2 boys and is going back to school full time for her nursing degree. She's perpetually stressed and overwhelmed, and I really feel for her, but she knows her life will be the better for it in the end. Maybe you should look into lightening up your course load until your little one is slightly older?

texasp3 replied: Taking a lighter course load and staying in school a little longer would be something worth considering, if it's an option that's available to you!

I did two graduate degrees - one as a single Mom and one as a married Mom. In both cases, I finished a semester later than "scheduled" in order to keep from taking too much time away from my family. One was a 2 year degree that I finished in 2.5 years and one was an 18 month degree that I finished in 2 years. In both cases a full load was considered 4 courses and I always took 3.

Taking longer in no way damaged me academically or professionally. In fact, I'm sure it HELPED as I was able to get higher grades since I wasn't stretched too thin. In the long run, I have a lot more options for what I do with my life today because of my education AND my older son who survived me being in school so much has very happy memories of those years along with a desire to go to college and graduate school himself!

Having said all that.. I distinctly recall many bouts of crying in total distress!! Hang in there... I really believe you're giving yourself and your family a better future by improving yourself.

momof2girls replied: I would suggest the same, cut back a lil bit.... dont over do it.
can you take some on line classes and be home more? maybe even study after they have gone to bed?

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I'm sorry you are feeling this way! I think everyone else has some pretty good suggestions, but I just wanted to offer you my support and lots and lots of HUGS!

coasterqueen replied: Josie,

I am like Tracy, I sort of know how you feel because I work full time. I'm exhausted by the time I get home from work and after dinner, etc I just have no energy to want to play with Kylie. But I also don't have homework to do when I get home either.

It took me 10 years part-time to get my degree. I worked a lot more so DH could get done in 4, but it took him 5. When he finished I still worked full-time but went to school at night. We just couldn't afford for me to go to school full-time and not work, we tried one semester of that. Anyways, for me since I was working full-time for those 10 years I didn't have my degree I honestly make more now than if I went out and tried to use my degree, lol. Course I do "use" my degree but not in a financial aspect. I graduated with my bachelors when I was 5 months pg with Kylie (or was it 6, lol).

There's nothing wrong with slowing down a bit and taking less classes. Geesh I know DH was taking like 18 hours and I just couldn't handle that, I was taking 12 and that was MORE than I could handle, lol. Some people can handle more and some can't. I'm one of those who can't.

((HUGS)) Just know we are here for you and know that you still can do this even if you took less classes .

Boys r us replied: These ladies are so right, there is NOTHING wrong with lightening your load and slowing things don a bit!

When I had Tanner, I was a single mom..I got NOT getting child support and so I HAD to work full time to support myself and Tanner. While working full time, I also went to school..I was in my second year of college when I got pregnant with him and I wanted to finish. There was never an easy da..nevr..but I got through it and looking back, it was all worth it!
Anyhow, I am not telling you all of this to toot my own horn, but rather to encourage you!

Josie83 replied: Thanks so much for all your help and advice. I'm going to talk to my tutor on Monday morning. I think going part-time sounds like a good option. I want Cassie to be in nursery five times a week to get the same start as the other children, sbut if I went part-time then I could hopefully spend most of the free time that she will have with her. Thanks everyone for taking the time to listen to my whingeing and helping me out. I really appreciate it, thank you xx

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I couldn't agree more with what everyone has said here, Josie. I'm so overwhelmed right now I can't see straight and I'm home with my children all the time. What Cary said really helped me to know I'm not alone and neither are you. Hang in there and vent anytime!

My2Beauties replied: I am in the same boat with you, I work full time, turn around 2 nights a week and go to school for 3.5 hours and then come home and have to put Hanna to bed and by that time I feel so stressed out and so overworked that I want to cry myself to sleep! It has put me in some awful stressful moments, I have two tests next week (one in each class) and haven't began studying for them! they pile my workload on me more and more everyday and I can't even get any studying done at work now like I used to be able to! I went down to part time status when I had Hanna and it did help lighten the load a bit, going to school full time is really hard when you have a child, sheesh it's hard without a child when you have to work I totally am with you hon, if you need to talk PM me!