Ready to cry

Celestrina wrote: DH's nephew's son should be removed from that house. He is only 4, and the type of things he has been exposed to are just scary. According to my father, who worked in special ed for 40 years and knows how the system works, says that children's services would need something very obvious (bruises, broken bones, etc) before getting involved. Many times I thought about calling them anonymously.

Today I found out what video game he has been playing - Grand Theft Auto (click for link). I wouldn't want my teenager playing this game!

I just don't know what to do. If I do call CS, they can't do anything. There is no way we would adopt or become his foster parents. He has problems with anger (no shock there) and would be afraid to have him with DS. No one else in the family can take care of him either.

My3LilMonkeys replied: I think 4 is definitely too young for that game!

jcc64 replied: I don't allow my 14 yo to play that game.

Mommy2BAK replied: wow thats really sad!

luvbug00 replied: Sorry i have to be on the other side of this debate. To blame it on a video game is just rediculas. Mya has been playing that game since it was released. she also likes everything from god or war to splinter cell to Nemo. She doesn't sware isn't violent and realizes it's just a game. A GAME. if his parents didn't make that clear to him then that isn't the games fault. There is more going on here then a video game.

jcc64 replied: It isn't violent????? Are you kidding? Do you know the whole premise of the game? You are rewarded for blowing away cops and commiting felonies- it is the by far one of the most violent games on the market, which is undoubtedly why it is labelled as inappropriate for anyone under age.
I am extremely liberal with what I allow my kids to access and watch, but with a child that young, the line between fantasy and reality is not clear at all. That's reason enough to nix it.

A game alone can't be blamed, but it isn't an indication of good decision making, imo.

MommyToAshley replied: I am a gamer and I won't even play that game. Yes, it is a game, but it is too violent. In the second game, a possible rape of a prostitute is alluded to in the storyline. It is disgusting and not something I want to see let alone let a child see!


As far as your nephew... I don't know the entire story, but have you tried talking to the parents? Maybe you can volunteer to take him out once a week or somethign in a more positive atmosphere. I don't know if they would take that as an insult and withdraw more. I am at a loss, not sure what I would do in the situation.

tammyhopkins replied: OMG that game sounds terrible for an adult let alone a child. It is hard watching a child grow up this way because you know that wihtout the positive atmosphere they will grow up very negative and unhappy.

i wish i could say something to help but at least if something is done now he is 4 and he can change but if this continues that is what can be scary.

luvbug00 replied:

meaning we were able to explain to her that it is a game. like how you explain that when you die in real life you don't come back like you do in video games. So Don't try the stunts and stuff you see on the games because they can kill you. parents don't explain this stuff to their kids. then what happens kids play some shooting game, find dads gun and start shooting at eachother. it happens all the time and IMO the parents are to blame not the game.

boyohboyohboy replied:
I totally agree that this game is not appropriate for a child. children grow up innocent and do not think any of these "bad" things can happen to them...they also think they are invinsible, and that death is something you can come back from...
they are not able to understand these consepts at such early ages...i dont even think teenages think that anything bad can happen to them..
so to say that "they understand the difference between fiction and real life" is hard for me to grasp.

lisar replied: I dont think you blame a game for a child behavior at all. I dont even think you can use that at all. Or anyone. Lexi plays the snow white game where she carries dishes around and they fall and break but I dont see her carrying mine around and dropping them just to break. I would be blamming it on the parents not the game.

JMHO though. I dont know the whole story. And I am not saying they are blamming it on the game I was just stating my opinion.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I'm with Nadia and Lisa on this one.

A game can certainly add to it, if the parents don't make the line to not cross clear... but it will not cause it. Exposure to tv or games isn't going to warp your child... it's your reaction to them that can cause harm. Your reaction, or, maybe because the tv or game is being used as a babysitter. An intense negative reaction can be just as powerful as a good reaction... and the child learned that that's a new button on which they can push to capitalize. Or, you the parent wasn't paying that much attention to the child to begin with...ya know?

(tlaking about you in general, not you to anyone in particular)

We have several games, one if which IS GTA. However, we don't play it the way it's supposed ot be played when the kids are around... we tend to try to play the opposite...zach tries to NOT run over the people. But ya know... when it happens... we tell him that just like in the game...people can get killed by cars and that's why it's important to always look both ways, hold hands, not run into the street etc etc etc.... we just use it to our advantage. Oh, and we play it on mute.

My kids are wierd though, they like to watch CSI with us. Wierd how my 4 year old can "call" the cause of death.

Games are blamed, like tv, because they tend to be the babysitters way too often... and it's easier to blame the babysitter than yourself.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Kids are way too formative at this age. Why would a parent let a child that young play something like that? IMO, it's pretty careless. I can understand not blaming the child's behavior soley on a game (which I don't think the OP was to begin with though, just using an example), BUT things like that CAN have an effect on children esp. if this child is not being taught that these things are not appropriate in real life. We had to recently stop letting Tanner watch Tom and Jerry of all things because he was beginning to copy things he saw in the cartoon. Kids pick up things from everywhere, and sometimes just talking to them about it doesn't do any good either. JMO.

ETA: I also want to say that the way boys percieve things like this and the way girls might are totally different. Boys are much different than girls when they are exposed to things like this, IMO.

grapfruit replied: I have to say that I love the game, however, I don't believe I would allow a child to play it. Maybe the "incorrect way" like Rocky was saying, and on mute. That being said, I do NOT believe that a game or TV show can or should be used as an excuse for a bad "deed".

Anthony275 replied: to my knowledge that game is adult rated and only someone 21+ can buy it. im guessing his dad bought it for himself, and let the kid play it. 4 is way too young to be playing video games like that, let alone KNOWING how to play it.