Question? - regarding nudity in front of kids
stella6979 wrote: Do you find it inappropriate for guys to walk around naked in front of their daughters and vice versa? Now, I'm not talking 10 year olds or anything, but smaller children like 5 and under?
stella6979 replied: I should also add that I'm not talking about just struttin around or laying on the couch full blown naked. More like instances where you're getting in and out of the shower....things like that.
Crystalina replied: DH doesn't make a habit of it but Izabella does see him naked and she's 7. If he's in the shower and she wants something in there or just wants to talk to him she just walks right in and carries on a conversation. We've never made it a big deal so I think that's why it isn't.
She does know that her private areas are not to be looked at and will hide herself even from me so that is all I care about. She knows what's okay and what's not.
DVFlyer replied: Chloe is 4 and we've started to make sure she does not walk in on me when I'm naked. I don't know if it's too late or early, but it seems like a good way to teach her about privacy.
stella6979 replied: Oh I totally agree about the privacy thing. I only ask, cause Jeff was in the shower the other day while I was putting on my make-up so she was in the bathroom with us and caught a glimpse of "it". I was telling a friend of mine how she saw it and starting pointing and laughing and calling it a microphone and my friend was just baffled that we'd let her see him naked. She's only 2 so I really don't see a problem with it.
PrairieMom replied: Ben just turned 5 and we are starting to stress privacy and private parts. He still bathes with Al, but we will be phasing that out probably next week. Up until now we haven't hid anything from him.
mckayleesmom replied: Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 5:31 pm Post subject:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I don't think the body is anything to be ashamed of. My kids are 5 and 3 and have seen both parts. They really don't question it and when they do...Im just honest with them. Dh trys to sheild himself more now that our 5 year old is older. He sleeps in the nude...so sometimes that isn't always possible if he gets caught, but she doesn't ask questions about it. Both of my kids will still jump in the shower with me sometimes and sometimes my son will jump in with daddy really fast if I ask him too...just saves time.
I think America is one of the countries that has totally taken the natural body and made it completely about sex. There are other countries that have people that don't wear clothes at all and never question it. I think the more shame you put on it, the more the kids are curious about it.
.I grew up in a family of 6 kids, 2 parents and 1 bathroom. It was inevitable that we were going to see each other naked at some point. I have seen my mom naked up to a year ago...and thats only because thats the last time I have seen her.
I also have safeguarded my kids too. They know that NOBODY is suppose to be touching their parts..period. Since they were old enough to sit up in a bathtub..they have been in charge of cleaning their parts. I give them a little soap and they clean themselves...I only wash their hair and they sometimes don't want me to do that anymore either. I make it clear to them that they know the proper terms for things....but they do have nicknames for them too. They have been told that only a doctor or mommy is allowed to look down their and only if they are having a problem and it needs to be checked.
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Teesa®© replied: We're pretty open about nekkidness, but there is a limit. We don't parade around the house nekkid, but as was stated before, sometimes issues arise where someone gets "caught".
Our children are 6 1/2 [b] and 8 1/2 [g] and neither DH nor I have issues with dressing in front of them - not that we do it all the time . They dress in front of us at times, too. Both the childrens' dressers are in our room so there are some mornings where we all get dressed in there.
Both my children also know about their private places and that no one is allowed to touch them there.
I LOVED the "microphone" comment, it almost made me spit out my coffee - and I JUST finished cleaning off my desk, too!!
Crystalina replied: That's what I say also.
I think it really depends on how the parents feel about nudity. If the parents are not comfortable seeing others naked then of course the kids will be the same. Maybe "comfortable" isn't the right word. If the parents weren't raised seeing mom and dad then they will raise their kids like that. However I was not raised seeing my mom naked but on occasion that I saw my dad he just didn't care. He'd walk around in his underwear and in my adult life I've more then once caught his "microphone" (funny how kids see things ) hanging out after he's had some wine and fell asleep on his couch. It didn't gross me out and I just covered him up so he wouldn't be embarrassed when he woke up.
I don't think kids seeing their parents in the nude is a bad thing or is scarring for a child. As long as they know that seeing mom and dad naked in the shower or while dressing is way different then a naked mom or dad "touching" you.
stella6979 replied: Ya, that's why I told my friend the story cause I thought it was hilarious, but apparently she didn't think so.
luvmykids replied: I think it's going to happen, they're going to see you naked at least here and there, but we're at the ages where the twins want privacy and shower separately. If they happen to see us we don't make a big deal of it but we are also trying to make the point about not only your own privacy, but also respecting others privacy.
Kentuckychick replied: I don't really see a problem with it as long as privacy is being taught as well. The children I used to nanny for are 10, 7 and 2 and the older two children still constantly walked in and out of their parents bathroom while they showered (glass shower) and changed and things like that. I didn't really see the problem with it because it's family until I was trying to use the bathroom one day and the 10-year old (then 9) tried to open the door and said, "Hey... why is this locked?"
I was like, "Um because I really don't care to share my peeing experience with you."
He said they had a "no locking doors policy in the house." I had to laugh because I'd nannied them for years and never heard of any such thing but I just smiled as I exited the bathroom and said, "That doesn't apply to me buddy!"
So I think it's important to explain that you can't just do that to anybody!
Calimama replied: Miabella showers with Daddy right now and probably will until she's about 3-4 or either of them are uncomfortable with it.
Boo&BugsMom replied: At 2 I don't see the issue at all. That's still pretty young, IMO. I think when Tanner was about 4 is when we started to get stricter on the privacy issues. He's almost 6 now, and even though he is completely comfortable with showing everyone his "wee wee" and totally comfortable walking in on mommy whether I'm peeing or showering, I personally don't feel comfortable with it.
ETA: I don't care if he sees me in my underwear though. No difference that a person wearing a bikini. I just don't want him to looking at mommy's privates, which is something I am also trying to teach him (that you don't show people your privates). And notice I said "trying"...he has no issues with flashing anyone or stripping right in front of whoever. Im' glad he's comfortable in his own skin, but for crying out loud he's the opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to "shy". He'll just strip right there, in public, home, anywhere.
stella6979 replied: I couldn't agree with you more. But really, my friend looked at me like we were pedophiles because Avery saw it. Not sure where that came from or why she thinks that way, but I just thought I was telling her a funny story and it was turned into something way more. That's too funny about Tanner.
luvbug00 replied:
ditto to the max! i don't shelter mya about it and as long as i teach her what is right ( mommy being there when a dr. checks her and no man is to tuch her privates unless i say it's ok for medical reasons) then there shouldn't be an issue. we watch the discovery planet too and talk about it if she has a question. She doesn't care about other peoples she is very modest about her own.
holley79 replied: I totally spit Pepsi on that one as well. That was too funny.
Annika has seen DH but it's nothing to her. She doesn't want anyone to see her pottying so we all stress that is private time. If it's a glimpse or something then I see now big deal with it. Annika also will go in and sit on the toliet lid and sing to daddy, daddy will dry off in the shower then step out with the towel around because he is uncomfortable with her seeing his privates.
jcc64 replied: Corey is 5, and dh is starting to get pretty modest around her. If she walks in the bedroom or bathroom, he'll cover up pretty quickly.
seeingblue2 replied: I think for a child about 3 and under it's ok. That's how long I walked around naked in front of my son and didn't feel uncomfortable. My DH never let DS see him naked because it made him (DH) uncomfortable from day 1.
TANNER'S MOM replied: Well my Tanner is 10 and I still get dressed in front of him. I don't mean he sees me totally naked but if I am changing, and he walks in I don't scream and yell. I usually just turn my butt to him. He has never STARED at my privates. Usually I have a towel on or my bra and panties. He was about 4 when we stopped bathing together. Dh, well lets see. Tiffany was about 4 when he wanted her no where when he was changing. He still does the boxers over underwear thing if he laying around the house. I mean we dont' walk around naked. I will walk threw the house in my bra and a pair of shorts or panties if it's a fast trip for something in front of Justin and he is 14. But I promise you my kids see my body and they are EWWWW Mom put some clothes on. I say see this stretch mark, it's got you name on it, this one is your sisters. I think for Moms it's even different than for men.
I think a two year old is nothign to worry about. She saw something she never NOTICED before but she didn't see it as SEXUAL. I think we sexualize to many things.
I know when my kids, boys or girls see me in a towel or bra and panties they don't sexualize it all at. Now I do have a problem with Justin's Dad's gf. They have lived together for around 10 years and I am told she will walk around the house in her thong and bra. That bothers because she is very young, only 27, now and SHE ISN"T HIS MOTHER! To me that makes a difference.
Cece00 replied: Yep. I agree completely. My kids arent worried about when they occasionally see us from the shower or if they walk in while we're dressing or whatever....but they dont like for US to look @ THEM naked (my older 2) so I know they get "privacy" & we stress that no one but their parents or a dr should touch them, blah blah blah
Nudity is not something shameful here. We dont strut around naked or lay on the couch that way, but we also do not make a "no no" big deal about it
Maddie&EthansMom replied: Oh my gosh....
Well, it varies from family to family. My dad was so modest when I was growing up, but my mom wasn't. My 3 older brothers were modest as well. I don't remember ever seeing any of them naked. My mother walked around in her bra and panties on a daily basis. Still does. I'm just like her. I hate clothes. My kids see me naked all the time. I never thought about how old they are. I mean, Ethan is 4. I suppose I should cover up more or try to hide, but neither kid has EVER and I mean EVER commented on our privates or pointed, stared...anything of the like. I should mention that Scotty also dresses in front of them and makes no big deal of it. I've thought at times that maybe he needs to cover up more, but he isn't uncomfortable and neither is M. Of course we teach them the basics about privacy. M is pretty modest when it comes to undressing...she closes the door and knows that her brother or male cousin should not see her naked.
I think with us being so immodest it sort of kills a lot of the curiosity they will have growing up, kwim? I had a friend tell me that she doesn't want her daughter seeing her husband naked b/c she doesn't want her daughter to have that picture in her mind when she gets married or whatever. I have a personal belief that the body is a beautiful thing. Look at the paintings and sculptures of the human figure that are considered art. Why should we be ashamed? We were born naked. It wasn't until Adam and Eve sinned that they thought to cover themselves up. That's where lust came to play in the world. But that sin wasn't there in the beginning. We put it there. We made the human body a shame, something that needs to be covered. I don't want my kids to view it as "naughty." I don't want them to see a nude painting (piece of art, not Playboy) and giggle (even though they probably will.)
HuskerMom replied: Keith doesn't pay any attention. He likes to follow us around so he'll follow me into my room to change. He'll usually point to my belly button and then his, laugh and find something to play with.
moped replied: Jack sees us changing and showering etc all the time, not an issue......we have sort of discussed things and we call it like it is.......
my2monkeyboys replied: Same here - as a matter of fact Will actually sneaked into the shower with me about 2 weeks ago. He loves to shower, but not my himself, and DH is usually at work at the times we bathe. I generally just keep my butt pointed towards him now that he's older, but I sleep in the nude so it's hard to keep completely covered at all times around him anyway. He thinks it's so funny when he sees DH's 'tallywhacker' though - he just points and laugh and then makes some silly comment about it, esp if it's colder in the room. He doesn't see DH much, maybe a quick flash here or there, but we aren't the type of family that makes a big deal out of it. My family wasn't either, esp my mom. My dad, on the other hand, always try to cover quickly when my sister or I would walk in the room. But he would lay around in his underwear and such.
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