Question for those that are Catholic - (religion mentioned, obviously)

MommyToAshley wrote: Ashley's school is having a special mass and reception afterwards for the room mothers/volunteers, and I have been invited. I have a question about the mass... if I am not Catholic, should I do the sign of the cross? Would it be an insult if I didn't? Would I be a hypocrite if I did? Usually when they say prayer in her school, I am usually in the back of the room... I say the prayer but don't do the sign of the cross. But, I don't want to insult anyone.

grapfruit replied: If you are not Catholic, you do not have to kneel, genuflect (sp?), take Communion or any other of the traditions (small t) that Catholics must. If you want to, nobody will think different. It isn't an insult. Honestly, nobody really knows differently. There was 1st Communion at church a few weeks ago and the church was FILLED w/ppl I've never seen before. Some praticipated, some didn't.

If you don't want to just sit there, just watch what everyone else does.

Are they passing out Bibles? Our church uses a Bible that helps you follow along. It's helps a ton for Tim and I. We're still figuring out the order of Mass.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I'm not Catholic, but practically everyone on my dad's side of the family is. Whenever we went to church with them or to one of their weddings, we would sometimes do the repeating and kneeling but I don't think it was expected. We never did the sign of the cross or went up for communion.

coasterqueen replied: We are not Catholic and I know you asked for those that are Catholic - we are Lutheran. I'm not sure about the sign of the cross, but in our church at least it's accepted to take communion if you are not Lutheran, but it's really frowned upon. I wonder if some churches frown on certain things like that than others.?.

grapfruit replied:
I have a Catholic Answer Bible (we're taking classes after church). And in it is this specific question. I wish I could remember it word for word, but it's in the truck (of course) and I don't.

Basically it said, it's not frowned upon, it's welcome. And like I said, nobody is really going to know for sure if you're Catholic or not.

My Priest and I were talking about similar stuff. He said he can only refuse to a person if upon giving it, it would cause a Grave Scandel. I can't think of an example right now. But I know simply not being Catholic is not one!

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Not a big deal, it's just a blessed piece of unleavened dry bread and a hand gesture. heck I'm catholic and I don't usually do either. Cuz I don't feel like it.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: question for you though - is dh catholic?

just asking because here, the kids cannot go to a catholic school if the parents aren't catholic.

Crystalina replied:
Here kids can but if they aren't Catholic their tuition is more. It's all about the money.

I am Catholic and there is nothing wrong with you doing the sign of the cross at all. DH is Methodist and our closest church is a Methodist church (only about 30 people attend the little country thing ) and when I'm there I do the sign of the cross because I'm used to it.

msoulz replied: It has been a while, but when I was in the Catholic schools and attending church it was not acceptable to take communion unless you are Catholic and have had your "first holy communion".

I don't recall any rules against doing the sign of the cross.

My advice is skip communion and do whatever is comfortable to you regarding the sign of the cross. Many churches I have seen in my adult life don't have kneelers anymore, so they just stand, sit, stand, etc.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I don't think Jesus minds either way


I do participate in all of the traditions when I go to a Catholic church because I was raised in a Catholic church (as a small child) and honestly I love the familiar feelings many of the 'pomp and circumstance' doings bring me I also find Mass to be an act of such enormous respect that I enjoy being part of it.

jcc64 replied: I was raised Catholic, and even attended Catholic school for a few years. (Allright, some of you can now pick yourself up off the floor! ) I think the only ritual I would abstain from is taking communion. Everything else's fair game.

mom21kid2dogs replied:
Wow, that's a seriously insulting statement whether one holds themselves out to be Catholic or not. Would the same be the case for any church affliated organization who provides educational alternatives to public school in your view then? In our area (speaking broadly, here)there are Jewish options, Nazarene options and a decent number of non denominational options within 1 hour of my door. All charge more for non members than members.

As a practicing Catholic who is fortunate to live in a city with excellent public schools, I chose a Catholic education because it reinforces our family's moral and religous beliefs as well as provides my daughter an outstanding education. The non Catholic families who I know well chose this school over others because of it's small class size, family like atmosphere and teaching staff. BTW, most people who attend our school, including us, do so by making personal monetary sacrafices in other areas of our lives so we can "afford" it. Being about money, status or any other "stereotype" is certainly not in the equation here.

As I'm sure you must be aware, being a Catholic yourself, Catholic schools are ALWAYS parish affiliated and financially supported not only by their parish but also by the Diocese. It goes to follow that church members make financial contributions to the parish as a whole support the school in the process. Actually, we support the school twice~through our regular church tithing and through tuition.

grapfruit replied:
Those rules (no communion before First Holy Communion) only apply to Catholics. And Catholics aren't suppose to take Communion unless they've confessed either.

As in my case, we're going through classes to "Confirm". We haven't made our Confessions yet (we're just going to do it at the end), and so I can't take Communion. I HAVE had First Holy Communion.

And every Catholic church I've been in, in recent memory, has kneelers. You kneel durning Communion (while you're waiting for your turn, when you're finished, or if you're like us and not taking it). NON-Catholics don't need to kneel (but they can).

jem0622 replied: Sign of the cross is fine. Dressy casual for clothes. You cannot go up for communion (accepting bread and wine as the body and blood of Jesus).

Brias3 replied: We are Catholic as well. If you feel more comfortable doing the sign of the cross, then by all means, but if not, you certainly won't be acting disrespectfully. For non-Catholics at a Catholic mass, the only action that you should not partake in would be the acceptance of Communion. However, when that time comes, just remain at your seat.

I personally feel (or maybe its just my church) that the Catholic mass has become much more relaxed over the last 15 or so years, so you shouldn't feel out of place if you choose NOT to partake in some of the rituals performed during the service. There are plenty individuals at our weekly mass who are either guests or just visiting

MommyToAshley replied:
We picked this school because of it's reputation for academic excellence. But we also chose it because of the Christian values and respect that it reinforces in school. About 25% of the children attending the school do not belong to the Church and are not Catholic (some people drive their kids 45 minutes to go there) I volunteer in the school quite a bit and I have found that they teach a lot of basic Christian values, and the things that are different from what I have been taught are a learning experience for Ashley and myself. If anything, it teaches tolerence. Just like the sign of the cross, we simply told her that there is more than one way to pray. I guess I should have taken my own advice, huh?

Thanks for all the tips... as I said I just did not want to be disrespectful.

Kentuckychick replied:
It's the same here -- if you aren't Catholic, you CAN attend Catholic schools, but it costs more.

It's not really "all about the money" (no offense), in most states and communities the Catholic and private schools fill up quickly. Here enrollment goes by 1) members of the parish, 2) living in the school district but not members of the parish and then 3) non-catholics.

There are not typically many spots available for non-catholic students because the class sizes are small.

Non-catholic students pay more because as a general rule they aren't contributing to the diocese (church) in the same way that the Catholic students are. The church is what helps fund the schools along with tuition (they aren't funded by our tax money).

As for the original questions -- I've never known anyone to get offended by someone not doing the sign of the cross. You don't have to partake in any of the rituals you aren't comfortable in

PrairieMom replied:
Not to some. I'm not Catholic, so correct me if I am wrong, but I believe they believe that the sacraments are literally turned into the body of Christ when they eat them.

Kentuckychick replied:
I've actually heard that many times... but as a Catholic I personally believe it symbolizes the body and blood of Christ...

MommyToAshley replied:
I have heard this as well, but I am sure to some they take it more seriously and it has more meaning than just a hand gesture and a piece of dry bread.

redchief replied:
To Catholics, the host (as the "piece of dry unleavened bread" is referred) is exactly that - the host for the body and blood of Jesus. It is the receptacle of Jesus' body sacramentally. It is NOT just a symbol and a piece of bread.

Catholics are expected to be in a "state of grace" before receiving Holy Communion. That means that we must have not have mortal or original sin (removed in the sacrament of baptism) on our soul, and we must have been to Confession in the last year. That's why it isn't proper for non-Catholics to receive Holy Communion. You may or may not follow any of the other rituals. It's up to you and no one will think differently of your one way or another.

I also noted you said that you chose Catholic school because of "the Christian values and respect that it reinforces in school." Of course they do - the Catholic faith was the first Christian faith.

There was also a lot of banter about why it is that non-members pay more in tuition than members. At least here in the Northeast, even Catholics who are not members of a regional sending parish pay more. The reason (at least here) is that the Catholic schools are subsidized by the sending parishes; each has an allotment it must pay to the school for salaries, curriculum and grounds upkeep. Additional subsidies come from the diocese. All of that money is collected through donations to the parishes from its members. Tuitions paid by families are only a fraction of the actual cost of running the school.

PrairieMom replied:
Thank you Ed. I knew you would be able to put it better than I could. I'm impressed that I even knew that much.
I really enjoy learning about different religions, I must have picked that up somewhere.