Question about doing childcare for family

3xsthefun wrote: I'm curious if you was doing child care for family member would you charge them?
If so how much would you charge them?

I'm asking because I started babysitting my nephew for brother and his wife, while they are at work.

I told them I would babysit since I knew they would have a hard time finding a sitter. They work 2nd shift 3:30 pm- 11:30 pm.

It really has changed how I have to do things with my own family.

The thing is my SIL really didn't want to pay for babysitter. My brother said he would pay me and not tell her. Which I think is stupid and sneaky.

Well this week has been really hard and I'm really tired. There is no way I can keep watching him for nothing. Maybe I sound selfish?
But I'm losing sleep because they don't get here until almost 12 am. It takes me at least an hour get to sleep. Then I have to get up early in the morning to get Kaitlynn off to school.

I'm thinking about talking to them this weekend. If they can't pay me they are just going have to figure something else out.

Sorry if this makes no sense but I haven't gotten much sleep this week.

Do I sound selfish for wanting get paid?

cameragirl21 replied: Tina, babysitting for a whole day, along with having your own kids is hard work. Just because they don't want to pay doesn't mean you are obligated to do it for free just because he's your brother. Ask them if they'd watch your kids for free if tables were turned.
I'd charge them at least 35 dollars a day, that's cheaper than what you'd pay at many daycares and comes to just over 3 dollars an hour, which is way below the going rate of a babysitter. And they're seeking irregular hours which is clearly interfering with your enjoyment of your own life.
If you want to play, you have to pay, that's just life.
If I had my mom babysitting for me everyday for those hours I absolutely would expect to pay her so I don't see why your bro and his wife think they can get a free ride.

Kaitlin'smom replied: I had my sister watch kaitlin for a while on a regular schedule and I paid her about $3 an hour she was fine with that but for the occasional times she keeps her I dont pay her I just take her kids on occasion. I think they need to offer something to you.

CantWait replied: I agree, you're working a full time job so why shouldn't you get paid. I'm really not sure if I would or if I wouldn't, but honestly those are some rediculous hours and like you said, you still have to get up early with your own kids. If your brother and SIL were paying for childcare at a daycare centre, they'd be paying a lot more than what I'm sure you would charge them. It sounds to me like your SIL wants to have her cake and eat it too. Work but not pay for daycare, therefore keeping a lot of the extra income.

Calimama replied: I wouldn't charge my family. Before I got married I watched my nephew every night while my sister was in school. BUT I only watched him for 3-4 hours a night and I had no other obligations (kids.. etc). I don't think you are selfish... I kind of think they are for not offering to since you watch him for such long periods of time. I think it's bogus that she just doesn't "want" to pay a babysitter.

3xsthefun replied: The thing that gets me is they say how tight money is. But...yet they could go out and buy a new car.

If I was watching him for a few hours while they went out or something. I wouldn't think anything of charging them. Heck...I wouldn't now if I didn't have my own family take care of.

Our own grandma told me don't let them take advantage of me. She even thinks they should give me a little money.

It really has and will change the way we have to do things if I keep babysitting for them.

I think I am going talk to them this weekend. I was only going ask between $15-$20 a evening. I know that is a lot less then what other childcare providers ask.

My SIL is a bit tight with her money I believe.

Also, the baby was planned so they should of known long time ago they would have to pay for childcare.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Tina don't let them take advantage of your kind and giving spirit!! You can't compromise your well being and your kids' so your brother and his wife are more "comfortable." I think it's rather tacky that she told you she didn't want to pay a sitter and is expecting you to do it for free. Sit them both down and tell them that's part of the responsibility of having a child. Either that, or you sit home with them.

You aren't selfish.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
The only time I ever "gave away" my services when I did childcare (and I was licensed through the state) is when I took care of my cousin's little boy for a couple days while she was in the hospital. At that time she needed someone, she was having cancer removed, and I felt being close to her I was doing the nice family thing...plus it was not a regular thing....a few days and he was gone.

If ANYONE, regardless of who it was, wanted childcare and enroll their child in my program then they had to abide by all tuition costs, fees, and policies.

NO, it is NOT selfish, I think she is taking advantage of you. NOBODY should assume just because you are family that you should just up and care for their children for free, on a regular basis nonetheless!

First, this is a reason why I stopped helping family and friends. You give an inch, they take a mile. Second, I would never do second shift, but that's just me. It's hard enough to try and find family time. Third, if you do continue to do it I would put your foot down, give them a rate (DO NOT let them dictate how much they'll pay you, YOU give them a price or they will try to stiff you), tell them when you expect payment, and tell them if they try to take advantage of you again then you will stop taking care of the kids! Of course, all in a nice way...lol...but you need to stop letting them take advantage of you.

I think she is expecting something for nothing, and that shouldn't fly. It would be different if this wasn't causing you any stress at all, but you work another job and they are basically asking you to bend over backwards with the hours they need you...they need to pay you for your services! Like someone else said, even if my own mother was watching my kids on a regular basis like this, she would get paid. That is asking a lot of time from someone, for free!

GL!

3xsthefun replied: Yeah, I plan on talking to them. If they still don't want to pay someone. Then I guess one of them will have try get on another shift. I really want to help them and don't want them get mad at me. But I have no other idea what to do.

My SIL just likes having everything her way. I guess she is just going have to learn it can't be her way.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
She sounds spoiled, and she needs to realize not everything is going to be handed to her. Good luck. Keep us posted!

3xsthefun replied: I think she is a bit spoiled too. I know she rules the roost at her house. Nothing wrong with that I don't guess. Because really she has helped my brother grow up a lot.

I will be sure to keep you all updated.

3xsthefun replied: I thought I would update you all. They didn't offer me any money last night.

I guess I will just have to talk to them today.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Actually 35$ is average daycare prices here.... I'd say ask for maybe 20$ a day, since it's your brother. It's especially harder when it's family, to charge.. but seriously, your nephew is there during family time, where regular daycares is during the daytime. It's more like babysitting then daycare.. and babysitting they'd have to pay a LOT more.

A&A'smommy replied: I would definitely tell them that they need to pay you, also i would try and find out what the regular babysitter/daycare rate is per day or for a full week and charge them about half (since they are family) unless you don't want to continue to keep him. You are very sweet!!!

MoonMama replied:
ITA. I mean like Denise said if you had nothing else on your plate maybe, but even then I'm not so sure. I think its pretty rotten that she's like that about it. I mean hello having a child means your responsible, childcare and all. And she's getting off scott free there while your stressed, over tired, over worked, etc. I'd be pretty ticked. I wouldn't let your brother pay you behind her back however, I think that's just setting up bigger issues. But I would talk to them and explain how your feeling and come up with something together that works for everyone.

cameragirl21 replied:
we have daycares here that charge $300 a week. Of course there are some in the $40 per day range but she is talking second shift which imo should cost more and would if she found a daycare the works second shift.
Anything that seriously interferes with my life imo should not be free or cheap. Of course I don't have a brother so Idk how I'd feel if I had a brother in her bro's situation.

boyohboyohboy replied: Tina I babysit for a family right now that has three kids and they dont have a lot of extra money either...
I felt bad about how much the cost was going to be for these kids..we charge them $250 a week. When the older girl has off school for more then two days, whether she is sick or has break, we charge $300 a week. I used to feel bad, but like you said these hours cut into my family time and my life...so my dh said to me if you dont charge what you feel you are worth then you end up resenting them and it rubs off on the kids..and he was right. I do feel well compensated for the time I give the kids now, and its less of a feeling of a burden..and I also try to always look at it as my job. I know this is family for you, but they seem to be taking advantage of you big time.
I have no idea how I would start that conversation with a family member..I think its harder when you already start..so I wish you the best of luck.
I will be watching for your update.