Privacy

Danalana wrote: We were gone all day today. We met Jessica and Sal in Birmingham and then went to a friends house to eat supper a little later. When we got home, I discovered that my MIL had been in our house. A little backgroung: Richard and his family never locks their doors, so ours is never locked either. We live in the middle of nowhere, anyway, so you'd pretty much have to stumble upon us to find us. ANYWAY, it just bothers me to think that she was here and looking at stuff. I can't explain it. I don't dislike her at all, but I have huge issues with privacy. I don't think she does it much, and I know she was bringing Richard's b-day card over...I'm not sure why it bothers me, really. It sounds stupid, but it makes me feel violated.
DO any of you have issues with privacy?

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Yes. I can't stand when someone goes through my things without my ok.

I especially don't like when someone makes themselves at home in my home without my invitation... like my MIL comes over for dinner, complains that she can't eat what I made due to her diet, and roots through my fridge and cupboards to find something she CAN eat.

Understandable reason to go foraging... but I mean, she could have just told me beforehand, when I asked if what I was making was ok for her, and saved me the trouble of getting annoyed.

luvbug00 replied: ohhh it would not be pretty if it were my house! I do not take violation of privacy very well.

Danalana replied: See, his parents live right next to Richard's brother and sister-in-law. My MIL just goes in and out there without even knocking. I think that would drive me

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: No way. I live in an area where locking doors isn't thought of very often. However, after 3 years on the east coast, I lock mine all the time. It's just common sense to me. Aaron leaves it unlocked sometimes at night. That drives me nanners. When he's gone on business, it's locked all the time. But if I did live in your type of area, I would still have a major problem with anyone coming in and out of my house unannounced. That's just rude. Doesn't matter if they're related or not.

Danalana replied: Well, they come over here a lot because we have a big garden and a lot of land his father does little projects on. They never normally come in then, so it's not as bad as my brother and sister-in-law get. I feel bad talking this way because, like i said, I don't dislike her. Maybe it's because I don't know how to relate to a parent figure? I don't know...but yeah, I couldn't stand it if she was just coming in and out without warning.

moped replied: So would you lock your doors at night???

Miranda1127 replied:
everyone loves Raymond i hate that show b/c of how obtrusive and annoying mil is. that said i'm in a big city so locking doors is just a way of life, family doesn't come in when we're not home but when we are they come and go when they please. i kind of like it that way feels homey kwim?

indywndy_04 replied: My parents used to live down the street from me when I lived in FL and they would call me before even coming over or it would hack me off. I like my privacy and can not stand when someone just shows up at the door unannounced. Even if it is family!

I find it disrepectful, especially to go home and find them in your house...or knowing they had been in your house. UGH! I would not like that!!!

Danalana replied: Jen, I lock the doors at night before I go to bed. If I didn't they would remain unlocked.

sparkys2boys replied: We dont have the peoblem here beacause we keep the door locked when we are in bed or not home. I would be upsetr though if t was me. Would she mnd if you did that at her house? Not that you would, but what would she say?

Danalana replied: Oddly, I don't think she would care...I don't understand it.

grapfruit replied: I don't know...myself I don't like people going into my house unannounced. I don't mind people coming over, when I'm there, but I wouldn't like them just walking in while I'm not there. Unless of course I gave them permission, or they were doing something for me, but that's different...

Oddly enough, Tim's parent's live in town and their front door is never locked (I honestly don't think they even have a key). And it's very customary for everyone to just walk in, whether they're home or not. Now that's a family that had 6 kids, some of whom lost their keys all the time. And his dad grew up on a farm w/a bunch of kids, so I think that's just what he knows.

His dad used to have a key to our house, in case I locked myself out One Saturday morning when we were ignoring our phones, he let himself in so he could make Tim get up. That wasn't cool, but it was only one time. Scared the pee out of me too. (He banged on the bedroom door). I think we had the airconditioner (window unit) on in our room and couldn't hear him knock downstairs...Since then he just knocks on the bedroom window. (Also scares the pee out of me)

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I wouldn't mind if someone in my family or a close friend went in if we weren't home. I would mind if someone was going through my stuff while I wasn't home just out of idle curiosity, but going in to drop something off or wait for me to come home would be fine with me.

Danalana replied: What bothers me the most is that I'm not sure why it bothers me...
I have some ideas...too personal to share here, but I do think it has to do with feelings of inadequacy.

stella6979 replied: Personally, I think it's rude to just "stop by" someone's house without being invited or having called first. You never know what people are doing, while at home, and I know sometimes, I'm just not in the mood for visitors.