Poor DH - He's never gonna make it.

PrairieMom wrote: I go back to work in a week and a half. I will be working nights, 6:30- 8 AM Fri, sat, and Sunday.

I have no idea how DH is going to survive. Before Alexis arrived Just watching The Boy over the weekend was just about more than DH could handle. He doesn't get showers, or shaved, and by sunday evening is a super grumpy stinky beat down man.

now he has The Girl to deal with too. The problem is that she hates him. Well, lets just say she is a Booby girl, and loves mommy, cause I got what she wants. Pluss I am home with her all day, and deal with her at night and DH works such long hours he really hasn't put in the time with her ya know?

Well, he is having a really hard time bonding with her. He looks like he is holding a time bomb when he holds her. He willhold her and watch TV, but not really interact with her, and he doesn't talk to her. He has no idea how to calm her down.

He has been giving her a bottle for her bedtime feeding, and its going okay, but not great. She just isn't fond of bottleing.

Anyone have pointers for him?

MyLuvBugs replied: Just patience. Gotta have a lot of it....and maybe keep mommy's phone number close by. LOL Maybe a practice run this weekend might help. Go out for a day of shopping and girl fun, and leave the kids with your DH for a few hours. Maybe it will force him to bond more with her.

PrairieMom replied: I am making him be "mommy" in the evenings and this weedend when I will still be here to bail him out, He is really worried about it tho.

luvmykids replied: I don't have any advice, just thinking that maybe when it comes down to it he'll be forced to figure out how to make it work?

PrairieMom replied:
Yup. really, we haveno choice. Its gonna happen. Everyone is gonna be miserable tho.

redchief replied: Making him be "mommy" is probably the best way to acclimate both of them to each other. He'll be okay. Good Lord only knows that if I was okay with them alone, anyone can do it!!!

PrairieMom replied: I'm really dreading going back. Not just for poor DH, but I am going to have to find some way to sleep amongst all the chaos! I already have my ear plugs!

PrairieMom replied: BTW Ed, I love your siggy you Troll hunter you!

A&A'smommy replied: ugh poor thing I wish I did have some pointers but i have none good luck to him!!!

CantWait replied: Sorry Tara. Ron and I had a really really hard time with this also when he came home and Anthony was 5 months old. He was the ultimate booby boy, and no matter what we tried, nothing worked.

I so so hope it works out better for you guys. Good Luck.

Bee_Kay replied:

Had to laugh at that description Tara!!!

PrairieMom replied:
The problem is that when THe Boy was born DH never learned how to adjust his life style. so, he finds the easiest things super hard to do. Like take a shower.
It really drives me nuts. He has the worst time managment skills.

he hasn't figured out that he can't stay up until midnight with an infant because she is going to wake up 3 times in the night for at least 40 min a time, and The Boy gets up at 6:30, so if you want sleep... better get to bed! Its going to be really interesting to come home saturday morning to see what everyone looks like.

holley79 replied: I just had a flashback to the first night I went to work. DH called me and had me in tears. I almost went home. (I know, not what you wanted to hear.)

This weekend go away from the house. Give him and her "together" time without you around. I mean completly out of the house. Things will get better with time.

msoulz replied: Tell him to suck it up and be the man he was when he fathered the child!!! The only thing men lack are mammary glands - otherwise they are perfectly capable of keeping a child alive for a few hours.

Yeah, harsh maybe, but true!!

PrairieMom replied:
He's a good man, don't get me wrong, he just works a lot, and hasn't had time to do the bonding he should. He's just scared, and truthfully, so am I.
Really, its gonna be more than a few hours too. I will be working 12 hours, all night, then sleeping all day for 3 days in a row. It will be like him being thrown into single parenthood all the sudden. With a rabid toddler, and a baby that really prefers her mommy, and no help.

BabyOwen427 replied: If he is already kinda okay with taking care of just the boy, give him an evening with just the girl. You take the boy for an evening of mommy and me, and let daddy play with his little girl. He may get more comfortable with her, and realize he can do this, it is just going to take some work.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Tara, I totally feel your pain. Although I don't have to go back to work, leaving DH alone with the two boys is one scary thought! I'm actually going out with some girls tonight and I just know it throws DH off big time! He's a great dad too, but he just hasn't really bonded with the little guy yet. And Wesley is totally a boob guy too.

I wish I had some pointers for you! I would maybe add another bottle feeding if you can and make sure you're nowhere around when DH feeds the girl. Also, maybe take the boy out so that DH can just have some alone time with the baby for a couple hours. It's a total juggling act, but I think sometimes it's just easier for us moms because we're on kid duty more often than our guys are. My DH works long hours too! Like anything, it just takes practice! Your DH will get the hang of it soon!

PrairieMom replied: Beth and Rae, thats a good idea. Barnes and Noble is having a story time tomorrow night, I think I'll take Ben and let D Hsuffer at home with the girl He had joked before that she has a pressure switch and can tell when I leave the house. I was planning on ditching them on sunday too.

BabyOwen427 replied: Enjoy story time! Hope your DH realizes that he can care for both, scary as that may seem. When I leave Owen alone with my DH, his favorite saying is 'Adapt and Improvize'. Your DH will figure it out and all will be good, he just needs a break-in peroid.
Good Luck.

msoulz replied: Yeah, they will be fine even if the man is beaten down and grumpy at the end!!

Cece00 replied: Tell him to keep @ it & it'll get better with time. DH was always involved with Nat, but not so much @ night & of course he couldnt BF. He'd occasionally feed her EMB or formula...

But then she got more out of the "newborn" stage & Dh spent more time with her & she is SPOILED ROTTEN on daddy right now. She's a huge mommy's girl but daddy's giving me a run for the money, esp now that she is so active & FUN & he just LOVES it.

Seriously, she's got him whipped