Poor DH

Calimama wrote: We are all kind of having a hard time with his dad and step mom being here. There is some kind of jealousy issue between those two because they are newly married and don't have kids together, so sharing "attention" between his kids and his new wife is a touchy subject for his wife Ruth (DH's step mom). Well she didn't want to come in the first place and FIL put his foot down and basically said, I'll go with you or without you, so she came, but not happily. His dad said not to make any plans because he wanted to relax and just spend time with Miabella. Well he's managed to do everything BUT that. His wife makes him go to the beach everyday, they are gone for hours at a time and manage to make it back about 7 or 8 pm, close to her bedtime. It's really bothering DH because we can all tell that FIL wants to stay here or at least take Bella with them but he doesn't want to upset his wife so he doesn't say anything. Today finally he asked to take Bella to the beach with them for a couple hours. He sticks with his word until a couple hours into it when he comes home (without his wife) and said she needs to relax so she asked him to bring the baby home. So brings Bella in and gets ready to leave again, meanwhile his wife is calling telling him to hurry up and Bella is crying and holding onto his shirt because she wants him to stay and play. He left and they said they'll be home later tonight. I guess DH and I just don't understand why the beach takes precedent over spending time with Miabella. They haven't seen her.. EVER, except for pictures and she's nearly a year old. I would go with them but she can't sit in the sun for hours everyday, even with sunscreen. It's great that they get to explore California but they are gone when Bella wakes up and don't come back until she's ready to go to bed.


Sorry for the rambling, I'm just sad for DH because he's hurting, and I'm sad for Bella because she just wants to play with her Abo. If I can see it why can't his father? Seriously, she's a fun little girl, and they are missing out.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I am sorry! I hate when stuff like that happens! Poor DH...I hope his stepmom grows up sometime soon!

Chase-N-Paige replied: How very sad of a situation this seems to be. The new wife sounds extremely insecure and that is a shame that her "issues" seem to be affecting your FIL, DH and sweet Miabella so much during this trip. I hope that when he comes to visit again maybe he can come alone and spend some quality time with family instead of in the sun. Good luck, how much longer are they here. Maybe she will come to her senses or he will stick up for himself before the trip is over.

Hang in there, in-laws aren't always the easiest to deal with!
Alli

lovemy2 replied: I'm sorry for you, DH and Miabella Sounds like next time FIL should come without the new wife....

Sam & Abby's Mom replied: Ahhhhhhh, I feel your pain. My DH's step-Mom has some major social issues. DH and his Dad havent spoken in 18 months because of it. DH's Dad has never even seen Abby

Just doesnt make any sense, does it ?

A&A'smommy replied: ohhh I would be LIVID ..... its really heartbreaking I hope he will put his foot down with her and stay and play with Bella!!!!!

luvmykids replied: I'm sorry, sometimes family sucks is she much younger than your FIL? Sounds pretty immature to me

My stepmom is similar, when they visit us (from San Diego, LOL) it's all about her family and then if they "have time" they'll meet us for lunch or something It's sad to think of what they're missing out on but I try to think of what my kids are missing....spending time with someone who doesn't necessarily want to be with them. In that light, she's doing us a favor, kwim?

eta: On a side note, do you have one of those pop up toddler tents? When we were last in San Diego Macie was only about 6 months old and it was perfect for her at the beach! I know Bella is older but it might buy you more time when you do go.

sparkys2boys replied: Oh thats just not fair is it to any of you. Maybe you could casually mention that you are sure Bella would love to get to spend a full day with him and see where that goes. Kinda a hint hint thingy!!!

gr33n3y3z replied: I would be so mad I would throw them both out
I'm sorry your DH is going through this ..... Tell him to hang in there

stella6979 replied: I'm so sorry for all three of you. And as much as his step mom is at fault here, I just can't understand why his Dad lets her dictate his life? He's a grown man and can make decisions for himself, so why doesn't he just flat out tell her that he's spending as much time with his granddaughter as possible? Such a shame.

MoonMama replied: Oh honey I am so sorry. That is so heartbreaking . I don't have any advice but wanted to give you guys some

Calimama replied:
I agree! To me, his dad is just as much at fault for NOT standing up to her and staying. We said something (in a very light manner) about it last night but it did no good. They've been at the beach since 8 am and don't look like they coming back anytime soon. DH is taking Bella and I out tonight since they have "plans" so at least we can spend time together as our little family.

gr33n3y3z replied:
Well I'm glad your DH is taking the both of you out tonight that is really nice.

I know some ppl. just like your DH's step mother and there is no telling women like her what to do bc it will only make it wose then they get the i hate everyone B***h thing going and its just not worth it
Women like running the house and their men well some of them do she sounds like one of them