Please, please help! - I'm loosing my mind and patience!!

kellibellisdillybear wrote: I haven't been on in a while, no time really....but I am at my wits end with my little man. I have one of "those" boys, you know, the 'real' boy? He's only 18 months but he acts older, to me anyway.

Anyway, he is in this stage where he is constantly hitting, kicking, biting, pulling my hair. But, just mine...which i guess is better than everybody he sees, but I am so frustrated, I don't know what to do anymore. I work 4-12 hour days a week, so I'm home alone with him two days, which is great, but he doesn't let me get anything done, which ticks off my husband. When I try to clean or work on projects, he's pulling at me, pulling down my pants, and crying, so I take a break to be with him and he's hitting me, scratching me, etc. Even when I'm changing his diaper he's kicking me in the face.

I feel like I've tried just about everything. I've tried to be stern and tell him no, I've tried saying no and walking away from him, I've tried to spank him and he laughs at me. I hold onto his hands to calm him down, and as soon as I let go he whacks me again. What do I do??? I'm sure it sounds dramatic to some of you, but he is seriously strong, so when he wants to hurt me, he does. I'm so afraid one of these days I'm going to lose it, and I don't want to hurt him, but it's just so frustrating, especially since he's not even like that to my husband!!! Help, Help, Help

TheOaf66 replied: give him the same treatment back

kellibellisdillybear replied: Trust me, I've tried that too!!

Boo&BugsMom replied: My husband beat me to it, but I wasn't going to be that blunt about it. Call me a mean mommy, but I do not tolerate that kind of behavior in our house.

It seems like he has no respect for you. Not to get too personal (but it's important), but does your hubby respect you enough in front of him? Is there enough family time in the house? Alone time with him and you?

You can try a naughty spot. When he hits you put him in his crib or a time out spot where he can't get away. Take things away when he is acting like that.

Oh, and teach him to apologize! It's a must in this house. He needs to learn to respect you!

mom2my2cuties replied: Well, the longer you allow it to go on, the longer it will. Not exactly sure how to nip it in the bud, but it is something you need to do. What ever form of discipline works for you, I would do it, be consistant with it and he will learn.

TheOaf66 replied:
My husband beat me to it, but I wasn't going to be that blunt about it.

I am very blunt with stuff like that

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I know honey, that is why we get along so well!

kellibellisdillybear replied: I agree with everything you all are saying, thanks for taking the time to respond...I went on Parenting.com also and it says that they don't understand at this age that it's hurting, just that they can make their body move like that. I want to send them back then why does he make the 'naughty' face when he does it??? I know he's only 18 months, which makes me wonder how much he understands, that's whats hard, if he were older, I definitly would be putting down the hammer!

To answer your question, my husband never hits me, if that's what you were asking, but I could understand why that would be asked. I'll keep trying, but feel free to tell me any other ideas you all have!

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I didn't mean to sound like I was asking if he hits you...sorry, just wondering if he is showing his affection enough around the boy or making sure he's not using hurtful or mean words or showing anger in front of him. Perhaps your hubby can step in when he hits you, if he's around when it happens. Maybe if the disciplining is coming from him he will take it more seriously?

They do only understand so much at this age, but their little brains do absorb so much and can understand hitting is not ok. How is his language? Is he getting frustrated that he can't get his words out and acts out in hitting? Explain things simply to him so he will understand. You can teach him some simple sign language to help him speak more if he is having problems speaking his feelings. A lot of times at this age it's about the language barrier.

kellibellisdillybear replied: I agree with the language barrier, I tought 2 year olds for 6 years, completely agree with that one. But the baffler to me is still that it seems to be completely random. Granted, I realize sometimes when he's not getting my attention he will start in, and I can usually recognize that sometimes, but sometimes it's just when I'm sitting down playing with him! I worry too, because my husband, and his family are antagonizers, and although they don't to him, I get worried that he's geneticly inclined to be a bully! I mean, maybe right now it's just taken out on my, but what about when the day care starts complaining, or something! That's why I am trying my hardest to stop it before it gets out of control, I don't want to end upb like those folks on SuperNanny!!!! Thanks for your help

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Not that this helps, but you must be doing something right if he is being really good for other people. That's a good sign at least. Maybe it's a faze for him at his young little age.

kellibellisdillybear replied: We can all hope, right? I think what I'll try is when my husband is home, I will just go away when Dylan starts to act like that. Maybe if I go in my room and not let him be with me, he'll start to get a clue.

CantWait replied:
Your 18 month old will have no clue as to what you're trying to accomplish by doing this.

Your best bet is to do a time out, for his age 1-2 minutes is more then enough. Hold on to him, get down to eye level and look at him and tell him it's unacceptable. It's not going to happen over night, and you do have to be consistent.

Leaving it up to your dh all the time to do the disciplining is not only unfair to him, but your toddler will very learn to listen to you.

Good luck.