Please do not try to help

mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: Does this ever happen to you? I was in the grocery store on Sunday with just Wil. He started throwing a tantrum and this old man walks up to us and says to Wil "ohhhh, is your mommy abusing you??" I usually would just ignore such a comment and move on, but I looked up at him and said "excuse me sir, I am NOT abusing my child" and turned away. He said "oh I didn't mean it like that, I'm so sorry. Please accept my apology, I was only trying to be funny". So I said "thank you for your apology, but I don't think it was funny". He was with another old man who just sorta stared at us, like he was PO that I was reacting this way. The one guy finally walked away but mumbled something like "I was only trying to distract your kid. I have 9 children." I'm sorry...was I rude?? As I was driving home, I felt a little bad. But I just thought the use of the word "abuse" was just plain wrong. What if Wil was five or so, he would probably remember the word and use it himself!! "My mommy abuses me!" I can just hear it now!

I just really hate when people try to intervene when you're trying to discipline your child in public. I know they are just trying to help, but please. A friend of mine had a similar experience just last week where her daughter wanted something at the grocery store and was crying at the checkout. The lady behind them in line said something like "ahhhh, are you crying because you are sad or because your mommy won't let you have what you want?" My friend was so ticked and told her to bug off!!

moped replied: Oh I just dare someone to say something to me - just try!!!!!!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
Oh Jen, I wish you were there with me girl!!! I was so dumbfounded...mouth open with a look of "what did you just say to my kid?"!!!!!!!!

I remember my old boss intervening once when she actually witnessed a dad physically abusing his son in the mall we worked at. That's a different story though IMO. The guy got really mad and yelled "stay out of my business B#$(&#(&!" But I would totally do the same thing if it was me in her shoes.

I was seriously just trying to get Wil to get off the store floor and sit in the cart. I was talking softly to him as to not distract the other shoppers, but I guess I was "abusing" him....

Iluvmyboys replied: I dont know why people just dont mind their own business!!!

my2monkeyboys replied: Well, I know how you feel, but he was probably only trying to help what he may have seen as a not-so-enjoyable situation for you and your son. He probably just thought he was helping, not being nosy or rude. Him telling you that he has 9 kids was letting you know that he's been there, done that and was just sympathizing with you.
No offense, but it seems now-a-days parents are so touchy when it comes to others saying anything at all. He was just an old man after all, and it's not like he was really saying that you were abusing him... just trying to help some. I think it's nice when people are understanding of children's fits as opposed to being the type that glare at you like you are the one doing it.
That's just my opinion though.

kimberley replied: i really try not to be bothered by elderly people. it was a different generation where people sought advice or aid from their elders, whether they knew them or not. i am sure he wasn't trying to be offensive but he definitely could have chosen a better word than "abuse".

Miranda1127 replied: i would have done the same thing. i don't think i have ever had the experience but i so would not allow someone to intervien (sp?) while i disaplined my 5yr old, things are difficult enough with 5yr olds kwim.

Mommy2BAK replied:
I have to agree, although he most definately could have used a better choice of wording rather than "abuse". But honestly I don't mind when an older person tries offering their help, atleast the men didn't just stand there and stare.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: It doesn't bother me when people try to distract my children when they are being brats in the store and whining. Of course not everyone is so nice and understanding. There are lots of old bitties that look at you like "Take your kid home" BUT, don't talk to me OR my children when I am down in their face with mean mommy face on trying to discipline them for something they did. Mainly b/c I'm so irritated at the moment and I feel like they are just doing that to keep the kids from getting into trouble...like they are trying to distract me. I don't know, I just don't like to be interrupted.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Yeah from elderly people it doesn't bother me so much, because they just don't know any better.

I remember once, we were at this thing, for dinner (in a church basement) and there was a show of a local dance school's performers. Well my son was totally thrilled to see that, but he kept jumping up and down, bothering the other kids with "wow! did you see that?!" etc etc... so he wasn't being "naughty", but he was bothring everyone around, who were all sitting nicely and quietly.

I put him in a time out on me for being loud and bothering people, after I'd asked him twice to not do it. Of course he threw a fit... well I was holding him down on me... and this woman actually told me I was being too hard on him, and actually physically tried moving my hands away. I just shoved her.

I have no patience for people trying to override my authority with my children by telling me I'm being mean etc....

mckayleesmom replied: I usually just ignore it.



One thing that does tick me off though....When my kid is acting like a total brat in the grocery store and the cashier asks them if they would like a sticker.........My kid doesn't need a sticker for being a brat.

MyBabeMaddie replied: Don't you wish you could just give him a nice slap in the face... LoL.. How about abuse buddy, ---WHACK--- haha