Ped wants me to stop BFing - HELP

boyohboyohboy wrote:
Ok so today was Jakes 9 month check up. I was concerned because of his whole refusing to take other forms of food,as well as EBM in bottles, and wondered if his refusal of the vit d/iron/ floride supplement would be a problem...
well Jake's stats were, 18.5 pounds and 28 1/2 inches tall, this was only a 1 pound gain from three months ago.
The dr said he went from a 50th percentile, to a 15th percentile. He told me that since Jake isn't taking a bottle to supplement, that I should stop BFing and take him to a speech therapist and they will re program him to teach him to eat. He told me that jake is just being willful, and stubborn. He said right now its not a problem that he wants to see him in 6 weeks, to see if his weight has become a problem.
Jake has a hyper sensitive gag reflex, and throws up with any form of solid food hits the back of his tongue. I do try at least once a day, but he ends up crying and gets so upset, that I feel I am doing more harm then good by offering him some other forms of nutrition.
I was planning on BFing until he was one. But now I am not sure if I am doing the right thing. It seems unnatural to stop BF and force him to eat. I know he is getting the idea of table food because he does grab at the food, and moves his mouth as if to eat. I think he just hasnt matured enough to do it. The dr also said that I made a mistake by not offering a bottle at 1 month to get him used to it. I didnt do that because I had such a hard time getting him to latch on in the beginning that I didnt want to cause nipple confusion.

So I am asking for some advice, and experience. Is this weight exceptional low? Do you think it would be safe, to cont to BF and still just offer food, when he accepts it he does, but not force. Or is it time to seek some intervention?
I have had a hard time finding other mothers that have had this problem with the hyper sensitive gag reflex......

what would you do?

amymom replied: I would also consult with a lactation consultant. I think other moms on here will be better able to advise you on what questions to ask in order to make a good decision. Karen (coastermom), I think will be a big help to you. Whatever you do, it will be the right choice for you at that moment. How dare he second guess choices you made months ago, they seemed right at the time.

Good Luck with everything.

Kaitlin'smom replied: sorry but time for another opinion. I would most deffinalty KEEP breastfeeding him. If you stop and he can't/wont eat then what? he will lose weight. you deffinalty dont want that to happen. I know we have a couple moms who have had to deal with the feeding issues of solid food, I really dont have any advice there but to keep offering. I dont remember Kaits weight at that age but at 6 months she was 14.5lbs and a year later only 21.1lbs. So she was about the same.

boyohboyohboy replied: Is there a way to "jump start" my milk production, after 9 months of feedings? I have a quick let down, and then he just seems to lose interest, and want down. I feed him now on demand, which is at least every 2hrs all thru the night even.
I just wonder if I could produce more, maybe he would be more saticified, and gain more weight...?

Jamison'smama replied: I will leave it up to people who are more knowledgeable however I will say to keep breastfeeding. His reasoning makes no sense to me. Babies can be breastfed up to a year without introducing solids. Solids are supposed to be secondary to breast or formula. Is he emptying the breast--as in is he getting the fatty hind milk or is he a switcher. My son likes to switch back and forth every 2-3 minutes---I personally think he likes a cold pillow and he wants one on each side---he's a little picky .

Introducing a bottle at all is not necessary--not sure why he thought you should have done it---my son never took a bottle. If you planned to breastfeed exclusively, why would you introduce it?

To me, it sounds like your instincts are right. Trust yourself and see a LC if possible. There are things you can do to increase your milk supply--nursing on demand and drinking a lot of water is the best. Fenugreek tablets and mother's milk tea are others. Again, we will all refer to Karen for all the best information. Usually a mother's instinct is right on!

Hugs

jcc64 replied: Bad advice, imo. Just b/c someone has a medical degree does not make him an expert on nutrition. In fact, very few medical schools adequately address nutrition at all. Shame on him for discouraging what is unquestionably the best food source for your child. His assertion that your baby is being "willful" reveals much about his orientation- sounds incredibly old school and out of step with current info about both bf and child psychology in general. If you want to set up a lifetime of feeding issues, go ahead,follow his advice and make mealtime and food a battleground and a contest of wills. No healthy child will deny himself the sustenence he needs. I don't think your ds is small at all. Corey weighed less than 18lbs at her 1 yr checkup, and now at almost 4, she is still only 27.5 lbs. She never took a bottle and she's perfectly healthy. Offer a variety of finger foods and let him enjoy the whole process of eating- the textures, the mess, all of it. Make food a pleasure, not a source of anxiety or stress.
Follow your instincts and consult with either a certified nutritionist and a lactation consultant. Good luck, and stick to your guns.

kit_kats_mom replied: For the love of donuts. What is wrong with pediatricians?

Ready for a novel? Here is my advise. Katherine did not have the overactive gag reflex, she just wasn't a big fan of food. Feel free to go back and do a search around Aug 2003 and you will probably see where we started with the weight problems and then our subsequent attempts at getting her to eat.

This is a direct quote from my journal. June 2003 she was 9 months old. at her check up she weighed 15 lbs 10 oz and she was 27 inches long. Has he started crawling and moving around? Most babies tend to lean out aroudn the time they become more active. K was tiny but active, meeting milestones and a voracious nurser. She would eat but it was just little bites here and there. Never once did she finish a whole jar of baby food. It was irritating but some kids are just way attached to the breast. Can't blame em. BTW, he is still a baby. He should be nursed until at least a year according to the WHO. Don't wean him unless you really are doing something to comprimise your milk supply. IT would be crazy.

I ended up nursing K until she was 20 months old for a few reasons. 1. she wouldn't take a bottle and wouldn't drink milk no matter what we tried. After she turned two she started drinking sugar free carnation instant breakfasts twice a day. 2. I had a ped who was knowlegable about nursing and knew that even if her weight was a problem that breastmilk was the most calorie dense food that we could give her. This ped even went so far as to look into having my milk tested for fat and calorie content (fyi, not really possible as it changes every day).

This was all after she turned one.

Our plan of attack was simple. Verify that I was indeed still producing enough milk for her, which was done by borrowing a scale from a LLL group and weighing her before and after every nursing session. I was able to determine how many ounces of milk she was getting at each session. I did find out that I needed to boost my supply which I did by chugging water, eating oatmeal and having a dark beer occasionally.

Second step, make a food journal for her. This was painful for me. Honestly her food journal looked something like this: Monday 6am nursed for 15 minutes (6oz) 6:20 am ate 3 cheerios. 7:am nursed 5 minutes (2 oz) 8 am ate 1/8 graham craker. noon ate 1/4 chicken nugget, 2T BBQ sauce and 1 teaspoon of mac and cheese....pitiful. Can you imagine? I actually sat there and tried to determine the calorie count for three freaking cheerios??? OMG. Seriously, if you let it, food issues will drive you and your entire family NUTS. Try to keep the humor. seriously.

Third step, review the results with a nutritionist and up the nutritional values of what she would eat. If she would eat pudding, make a peanut butter pudding mix. K LOVED that and would eat about 6 bites at a time (HUGE for her at that time). If she would eat noodles, drench them in olive oil and cheese. Hagan daz, cream soups, mac and cheese all were some of her faves.

As long as he is meeting his milestones and otherwise healthy, I'd let him keep nursing. And go find another ped.

kit_kats_mom replied:
Aha! Just saw this. If you do indeed have an overactive let down, he may just be getting the fore milk and then losing interest. You may need to pump (Keep that stuff for rice cereal or oatmeal though...he may want to eat it mixed with breastmilk) I had that problem too.

Keep feeding him on demand but I'd say either pump a bit until you get the first letdown then nurse him or block feed on one side (which I also did but I kind of took it to extremes. Left breast all day Right breast after 5) which would help him get the fattier stuff. The foremilk is more like skim...he needs that whole milk.

Oh and if he is indicating that he wants down, then I'd guess he is satisfied.


Until Karen can get on here and give you some choice words for your ped, I'd get on kellymom.com and see what you can find out. I am pretty sure there is info on there about failure to thrive and weight gain issues.

good luck and KUP

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Oh my goodness!! His weight is fine!! I say this b/c Ethan bf for 6 mos and has never had a problem eating. He started eating solids before he was 4 mos old (only b/c he was never satisfied and I had no other choice..honest). He loves food...and he is TINY! His ped was never concerned b/c he eats so well and is otherwise very healthy, but he also dropped to the 15th percentile at 9 mos. (from the 50th)

Maddie was a chunk and didn't eat a thing. So there ya go.

You are doing the right thing.

luvmykids replied: I know not all peds are fans of bf but for petes sake! You know whats best, I don't have any advice but do have full confidence in you!

amynicole21 replied: Sorry, but your ped is misinformed. And what if he still refuses solids - then what? You have no supply and he has NOTHING to eat! Idiot. Get a second opinion and keep nursing him. Nora stopped gaining weight at 9months. She didn't gain anothe pound until her 15month checkup!! She is fine, meeting all of her milestones early or on time, and did finally start to gain this month. My doc had me freaked out about Nora's lack of weight gain, but she is perfectly healthy and I finally realized I needed to ignore him. I wouldn't worry too much.
Kids do wacky things! Also, check him against this chart by the WHO for breastfed babies. 18.5lbs is 8.3915 kg. He is just under the "mean" for bfed babies. Kellymom.com

~Roo'sMama~ replied: ITA with everyone here. I'd find a ped who is more supportive of breastfeeding. Andrew was around the same weight as Caleb is at 9 months, and he'd only gained one pound between his 6 month and 9 month visits too. He was eating solids by that point but only the pureed jarred foods and would gag and throw up on anything too thick or anything with even the tiniest chunks. He obviously didn't have it as bad as your little guy does, but his ped wasn't concerned and I just kept trying and didn't force him. I think you're doing the right thing. Eventually he will get it, it just may take awhile.
Have you tried mixing rice cereal with EBM and making it really runny like they say to for the first feeding? On the box it says for the first feeding mix 1 or 2 teaspoons with like 2 oz of liquid - it's really watery but that might be what he needs, and mixed with your milk it will taste more familiar to him. try that for a few days and if he will eat it then gradually start making it just a little bit thicker every few days. If he resists when you make it thicker make it a little thinner again for a couple days and then try to gradually thicken it again. That's my suggestion - someone else might have a better one. I know how frustrating it is, and if you're ped isn't helping you it's got to be even more frustrating.

boyohboyohboy replied: You guys are making me feel so much better! Last night I talked to my husband and asked him what he felt we should do, and he said did u ask the parenting club yet???

I am going to try to start pumping today, and see if I can increase my supply. I am very tired, so that might have something to do with it, Jake woke up almost every 45 mins last night to eat!

He is walking, he started at 8 1/2 months, so I do feel he is meeting his mile stones.

I will try the block nursing, will that cause the milk to decrease though? If I feed on one side for a few times then move to the other...I can see where that would be a good idea to get the hind milk.

Just so I get it right, so if I feed on it in the am, then he stops, he got the "skim milk" and if I start again, even an hour later, he is getting the fattier milk? Then the next time it starts again with the less fat milk?


I think the dr just had me a little paranoid that I might be harming him if I didnt get him into food soon.

My oldest boy almost died, because he had stopped eating and was also not drinking, and had been hospitalized for a while, until they found he had a polup in his rectum that was totally blocking him. He has stopped eating. I just keep envisioning how sick he got, and how bad it was, and I am trying to avoid any of that with Jake. I also think that the dr remembers how it was with caleb, and he kinda knew what I was thinking....
I have always trusted this ped, but his advice felt wrong yesterday.

he did recommend a speech therapist to go over the feeding issues, such as swallowing and the consistancy, but do you think they might also be less proactive when it comes to BFing?

thanks again!

PrairieMom replied: I would talk to the speech therapist. There HAS to be a way to do both. Oral aversion is something that you kinda want to nip in the bud, but I am sure that there is something that you can do.

coasterqueen replied: I could spit in your peds face if I was there. Jake sounds just like what Megan was/did. He actually weighs more at 9 months than Megan did. She had the "failure to thrive" thing going on as well as the gag reflex and couldn't take any solids because so, etc, etc. She doesn't have the gag reflex anymore thanks to a wonderful feeding team through her gastro doc, but we are still dealing with the "failure to thrive".

If your doc had any sense he would have sent you to a specialist that could hook you up with some sort of feeding team. Our feeding team consisted of the gastro doc, lactation consultant, nutritionist, oral therapist, and a speech therapist. We also saw a physical therapist as well. I went in there telling them I knew what was best for my baby and BF was it and they'd have to work around that. And they did. Sure there were times they told me to stop BF or to do this or that and it was stressful, but I stuck to my guns because it's no hidden science that breastmilk contains more fat than formula and is better for babies in general. Why would I take a baby who's failing to thrive off of the fatter content and give them something else? The only reason docs do that is because they have no right mind and don't understand BF at all so it gives them a scapegoat to solving the problem. I can guaranty it won't solve the problem.

BTW, my 1st had NO problem thriving on breastmilk alone til 18 months of age. She would dabble in solids before that but she wouldn't really take to them before 18 months. Some kids just aren't ready for them as early as others. After we dealt with the gag reflex Megan really took to solids, BUT it didn't help her gain weight what-so-ever. She's also drinking whole milk and that isn't helping her gain either. So BF isn't the problem.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Stacy, I don't really have any advice on the situation at hand, but wanted to say if you feel at all uncomfortable with what the ped. told you, go get a second opinion. Nothing wrong with hearing what other doctor's would say. Just because he IS a doctor, doesn't always make him 100% right on everything he says.

msoulz replied:
This is so true, they are just people making educated guesses! I'm sure he is suggesting what he thinks is the best thing but there may be another educated guesser with another idea that is more pallatable for you!

boyohboyohboy replied: there is a program here called, early intervention, that comes to your house to help with these sorts of things, I am told...but I am going to make it clear that I am going to cont. to BF, so what ever intervention they suggest, must not interfer with that.
I am also going to let him drink from a straw, which he does fine, but only EBM and water.

I decided that I just felt better knowing exactly what he was getting.

I also got a lot of great advice from Kellymom, about how to increase the milk supply, and that other children, most children, who are BF are about the same weight at this age, and that probably due to his walking early he is burning more calories..
thanks again guys!

jcc64 replied: Beer and oatmeal- that's all I've got to say. You'll be amazed at how quickly your supply will increase- dramatically.