Opinion on an incident my sister faced at work.... - a little graphic in nature

Brias3 wrote: My sister is a hairstylist at an upscale salon that also offers tanning beds. While cleaning a bed yesterday, the male customer she was preparing it for followed her into the room that the bed was located in. After saying a few sexually forward comments, he shut and locked the door (w/my sister still in the room) and told her he was going to "make her blush and leave his mark on her". Luckily, the tanning rooms all face the shampooing chambers so a number of employees saw this happen and rushed over, plus my sister was able to shove him out of the way and open the door.

Her boss told the man he was no longer a welcome patron of the salon and to leave immediately. He did so without incident. His information is now placed in the computer as no longer able to return to the salon for any service.

I personally think this should have been reported to the police. My sister says that doing so should be the job of her boss. She does not want to make a big "issue" out of things since her boss didn't take further action and did not feel the incident was worthy of further action. I couldn't disagree more. Especially due to the fact of what my sister says this man was saying to her beforehand. A complete case of sexual harassment IMO.

Am I overreacting? Who is right here? What should be done in your opinion, if anything?

amynicole21 replied: Wow, how scary for her! I think she should talk about it to her boss and see if he would be willing to press charges with her. If he isn't willing to do it, have her ask him what he would think if she would do it. I can't imagine he would say she shouldn't do it... that would be crazy. But, it would probably make her feel better if she did it with his blessings. That guy was a major freak, and I can imagine in different circumstances he may have done something dangerous.

Twelve Volt Man replied: I can imagine how scary that was for your sister. I'm glad it ended well. I really don't think there's much point in reporting it to the police, however, since there really isn't much they can do.

I can only speak for the laws in my state (North Carolina), but there really doesn't seem to have been any laws broken, based on what you described. Based on his "leave my mark on you" comment, it's possible that he could be charged with communicating threats, but that would be a real stretch, and would probably not be pursued by the District Attorney. Here, we have no sexual harrassment criminal law. Sexual harrassment is more of a civil matter, for which a civil lawsuit could be filed.

There may be more to this incident, that you've opted to leave out for understandable reasons, which might constitute a law violation. If so, and if she's willing to go through the criminal process (filing a report, going to court and testifying, etc.), she can contact the police and get more specific information concerning the laws in your state. If no laws have been broken, though, there's not much they can do for her. Good luck.

Calimama replied: I would have called the police personally. Guys like that scare me.

cameragirl21 replied: Bria, first and foremost, i'm so sorry this happened to your sister. unfortunately, i've had extensive experience as the victim of sexual harrassment so i know quite a bit about the legalities of it and what can and should be done with regard to the law. i'd need more details of what happened to her to tell you if there is any point to calling the cops. if you want, pm me if you want more info but tbh, from what you've said so far, i don't think this is a matter for the police and it seems the salon did the most they could do within the confines of the law.
i know how awful this feels...i'm just glad your sister is ok.
take care.

CantWait replied: Not the job of her boss, although he is obviously a wittness and can atest to what happened, yes she should have reported it....that's not cool at all. I'm sorry she had to go through that. Thank goodness there were people around.

MoonMama replied:
I agree 100%....

jem0622 replied: Everyone handles circumstances like this differently. Being that I was a victim of molestation and never was able to tell my side until it was too late, I would tell her to file charges. There is a statute of limitations on those circumstances, and if this guy didn't get her, then he'll get someone else...if he hasn't already. It's the principle of it all. She might also want to get a restraining order because you never know if he could stalk her.

Cece00 replied: I would call the police. Even though it might be tough to prosecute, she could try and get a RO on him.

Old Mom Hubbard replied: As a former criminal law student, it is unfortunate that there are no real laws that have been broken. The best she can do at this point, IF she has his personal information and IF she feels threatened (I certainly would) well she can always get a restraining order against him. Sounds to me a verbal threat that I personally, would take seriously. All a restraining order is though, is a piece of paper that is given/shown him that there is a court order against him that says he has to stay a certain distance away, no contact with her, etc...and THIS COULD escalate his "issues" as to me it seems like he has some. I would certainly check out the options as for personal protection and the laws that would apply to personal protection for "just in case" he shows himself around AND talk to police. Many states have laws that protect victims-HOPEFULLY he will try nothing and go on his way....hopefully get psych help too.

luvmykids replied: to your sister, how scary! I think even though nothing may come of it I would report it just for the fact of having it on record in case something else happened with this guy, wether it be her or someone else at least it may help establish some kind of "record" that might help later.

Brias3 replied: Thanks for all the support, guys. I guess I might be a little more on the defense about things cause its my little sister, but I do agree with the opinion here. I doubt anything could be done law-wise but I think I want to talk to her about at least reporting the incident, so the town police are aware of the situation should this guy come back or something, KWIM?

Kirstenmumof3 replied: That must have been so scary for your sister! While I understand where you are coming from, I think her boss did everything he could. But if this person does enter the salon again, I definately think the police should be called.

Jackie012007 replied: I would definitely report it - even if nothing legal can be done, if anything, should he try to do this again to her or another woman, and go even further, there is a paper trail on his behavior to back up accusations. Documenting a pattern of behavior like that could save her or someone else later, if god forbid he keep up this crap and she/they have to take further action - your poor sis!!

gr33n3y3z replied:
I agree bc they have all his info there providing its all real info
paper trails are important ladies in all situations

stella6979 replied: Well first off, I want to say that I'm glad your sister is ok. With that being said, if I were her boss, I would have beat the living crap out of him and then called the cops.

ZandersMama replied: Definitely i would be calling police. They most likely cannot do a thing but at least there is a record.

BAC'sMom replied: I would call the police! He needs to be reported before he does this to someone else. Your sister was shaken but unhurt this time, but that does not mean his next victim will be so lucky!

to your sister