Okay what would you have said??

mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: I forgot to tell you guys...remember how I was having a hard time finding an OB that I liked and that the first OB I went to had really awful fake nails on??! Well I decided to just go to another doctor that is actually in the same office as her. Well the office manager called me today and said that Dr. H (nail lady) would like to know why I switched over and how she can improve?? Gulp. So I hesitated for a bit and then said it was because I prefer going to a male OB than a female...sorta true...but I couldn't get myself to tell her the truth about the awful nails!!!

What would you say?? I feel bad not telling the truth, because she should know, but what if she said..."she doesn't wear fake nails". What do I say then...oh, well, then maybe she needs a good manicure?!

I thought it was a little "on the spot" to ask why I switched, especially since I'll be coming to the same office for nine months now!!! That's a little uncomfortable...and if she's on call, there is always the possibility that she may still deliver me!

MomToMany replied: Well, personally, I don't think it's any of her business why you switched. But I probably would've said something about them long nails .

coasterqueen replied: I would have just said what you said.

amynicole21 replied: I wouldn't have been able to bring myself to tell the truth I think it's a little weird that they asked, but good customer service at the same time. I'm glad she's interested in looking for ways to improve herself

ediep replied: I think I would have said the nails make me uncomfortable....actually, it doesn't sound hygenic for an ob/gyn to have long nails.

Kaitlin'smom replied: if i had left the offie all together I would have said something about the nails creeping me out, but being as your going to the same office I woudl have also said somethign like you did, none the less its makes it a bit uncomfortable. Maybe you should have said something about the nails.

amymom replied: One part of me would have done what you did.

However, if the opening presents itself, later I would bring it up. Like as you get to know the staff maybe find out if your instinct tells you to say something. I am trying to say if you are comfortable with responding with the delicate info.

The other part of me would wants to help the office mgr, since I have been an office manager for a doctors office. So maybe there have been a few changes by patients and the OM is trying to determine why. Or Maybe, this is a new to the practice, or considering for partnership doctor and they are surveying patients. Whatever the reason, I would only feel comfortable saying something if it directly affected me, or if my instinct told me the OM wanted a genuine response and not just fishing for gossip. The reason I say that is because you need to be well taken care of the next 9 + months and don't need a hassle because you stand up for good healthcare.

I hope I am making sense and that this helps ......... some.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I would have said just what you did! It was a little more diplomatic way of handling the whole thing because like you said she may end up seeing you at least once this pregnancy and to comment on her nails could have made it tense!

PrairieMom replied: You were right to be creeped out by the long nails. In my hospital they won't let us have nails longer than the tips of our fingers, and no nail polish at all. Absolutely no fake nails. They harbor all kinds of bacteria. They won't even let us if we wear gloves. (which I do all the time) I would have deffinately been turned off.
I would have said the same thing you said tho.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I think you handled it perfectly! I think it is odd that they asked and a little rude that they put you on the spot like that. There are personality conflicts everywhere and the fact that you didn't choose her as your doctor is a personal decision. It shouldn't need any explanation whatsoever. That's just MY opinion, though. I can understand her wanting to make improvements, but I still find it odd. Perhaps if you feel too guilty you could write an anonymous letter.

coasterqueen replied: I was thinking about this a bit. When I was searching for a new pediatrician a long time ago (was thinking of ridding of the one I had, but didn't) my IL's gave me the name of an excellent one. Or so it seemed. I called to schedule an appt with her but her rule is she talks w/the parents over the phone first to see if she "connects" with them before wasting anyone's time or money by bringing the children in for a visit. I was fine with that. We talked about how I nursed and didn't do solids til 6 months, and so on and so on. This was when we weren't for sure if Kylie had a dairy allergy. She told me how she didn't believe in dairy allergies, blah blah blah and I explained to her I didn't think she has done enough studying on breastfed babies because there was a lot of misinformation she was trying to give me. She flat out said "I'm sorry but I don't think you and I are going to work well together. I think you should consider another PED." I replied with "Thank you for your honesty and this conversation because I would have been more upset to wait 2 months to see you and then we found out our personalities conflicted." And that was that.

So maybe telling the truth might be good. I just don't know.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Long nails aren't allowed in most hospitals due to their being a hotbed for germs. I would have definately said something. Along the lines of, "Internal exams weren't very comfortable and several friends who work in hospitals said that long nails can transfer germs, no matter how much you wash."

My3LilMonkeys replied: I personally would have said that I was uncomfortable with the Dr. having long fingernails because I had been told that they can harbor germs. I look at it this way - I'm sure you're not the first person to have left her because of it (and probably won't be the last) and what if no one ever tells her? She could spend her whole career wondering just what it is that makes patients not like her.

JMO!

jacobsmama replied: I work for an OBGYN as a nurse I think what you said was fine. We also ask patients if they are switching why if they dont' mind us asking b/c it does help us improve now I do work for a female and we have 3 female DR and none of them have or would have nails like that I think it is gross and unexceptable. Since you stayed in the practice I can understand why you would say what you did but remember that like at our practice whoever is on call will deliver you so if it is long fingernail lady then that is who you get...Is it that way??? Do you know?? Just make srue you find out b/c I dont' want you finding out 9 months into this she could be the one delivering..Hope this helps. Kristi

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
It is that way, but my doc said he delivers at least 70% of his patients. I guess I should have said something since she may still deliver me. I'm just stuck in a hard place because I'm not having much luck with OBs at all in this town. I have a ton of mommy friends and they all have different OBs, so I have a lot of references, but it gets tiring trying a new one out when you have a little one's schedule you have to work around, kwim? Plus, if I wasn't PG and feel I need to get going on my care, I would probably take longer to find the perfect one. Mine and my baby's health or important to me, don't get me wrong, but there comes a point where I have to say there are more positives about this office that far outweigh her ugly nails I guess.

Grrrr...sorry, I'm just frustrated because I know I should maybe find a new doc, but there are a lot of things I like about the office (and doc of course). I just want my old doc that delivered Wil!!!!