Okay that hurt!

Donna027 wrote: So yesterday Lucas's report card came in and he was doing pretty well over all. He had mostly A's and B's except in Math amd Social studies where he got an F in both subjects Thats really not like him, he usually does way better then that. So I asked him what was going on and he said nothing. After asking more questions and telling him he better straighten up I grounded him for a week. No going out with friends, no internet, no music, ect. Even though its Christmas and I should go a little lighter I cant believe he'd gotten two F's!!!! He got so angry after I told him hes grounded mostly because he was supposed to go to some christmas light show with his friend and their family tonight and now he cant go. Then Lucas said something which totally broke me down. "Geeze its no wonder Patty went crazy and died. Its because your a control freak!" This took me by total shock that he would even say that to me. I mean why would he even bring her up?? Hes never talked about her before. After he said that he just ran to his room and went to sleep. I havent talked to him since. I dont think he realizes how much that hurt me.. I dont know whats his problem.

NikkiM replied: Sounds like it's time for a long talk. Something's bothering him.

sparkys2boys replied: Ohh Donna , that was hurtful, but I am sure that he did not relize that it was. I would say that something is on his mind and you two need to sit and clear the air. I think that you need to tell him that his words were very hurtful.. but.. you can see that he is upset with something and that he was angry and you forgive him for it but want to talk to help him get thru whatever it is on his mind. Good luck with it and let us know if he is ok.

MotherForever2043 replied: Oh, wow. That must of been so hard. It's defenitely time for a long talk with Lucas.

BAC'sMom replied: Sorry honey I say it is time for a little chat.

mummy2girls replied: (((HUGS)))) i am so sorry he said that to you! Things like that can drive that already knife into your heart deeper! Im not sure why people do that in anger or whatever! Give him time and space and let him come to you. I think he will realize what he said was really hurtful and he should come back to you and apologize!!! After a few days if he hasnt approached you i would approach him and have a talk with him and ask why he would say that. Plus your son is at a age where if things are taken away from him and plans get ruined they backlash at anyone in thier way!

my ex( jordans dad) got a hold of me through email a year ago and he really tore into me. and blamed me for Jordans death. and how and why i didnt catch it early enough and that if it wasnt for me he would have his son right now! Those things do sting ... I didnt respond back to him at all and in time he apologized through email again.

Calimama replied: What an awful thing to say! You dont deserve that. I hope your talk with him goes well.

Donna027 replied:
Wow, Ive been through the exact same thing as well. Except it wasnt through email. All through my divorce and for a few years after that my ex blamed me for Patricia's death. Saying how I didnt catch all the warning signs earily enough, how I wasnt strict with her while she was going through treatment and how I wasnt there enough for her. He did say he was sorry a few years later...

As for Lucas hes been pretty quite all day, mostly just staying in his room most of the day. I am going to have a talk with him. Its not like him to say something like that

amynicole21 replied: I'm so sorry, sweetie! Sounds like he was really just trying to hurt you as badly as he could. Sounds like he found the right button

jacobsmama replied: I agree something is bothering him

I'm very sorry he said that to you. I think he proably doesn't realize how much that truley hurt you or he probably wouldn't have said it.

Nina J replied: I'm sorry, Donna . Lucas was angry, and I think he knew which buttons to push. Maybe you two could have a talk, let him know you were upset by what he said and maybe even talk about his grades?

Iluvmyboys replied: Oh Donna Im so sorry! That is so not like him something must be bothering him. I was gonna stop by today to see how you were doing but I got busy and ran out of time. I'll call you soon and see if I can meet with you tomorrow

Donna027 replied: Sure Crystal I should be home tomorrow... Hopefully... Ive tried talking to Lucas but hes still upset about something. Espically tonight since this was the night he was supposed to go out with his friend. He said nothing is going on and that all he wanted to do was to go out with his friend. Im going to try talking to him again later tomorrow. Give him time to cool off. Right now Im just trying to give him some space. He still hasnt appologized

cameragirl21 replied: OMG, Donna, what a horrible thing to say, shame on him!
personally, i wouldn't give him any attention (other than to feed him and obvious things like that) until he apologizes, he should know better.
he may be a soon to be teen and maybe something is bothering him but seriously, he should know better than that.
i hope that in spite of all this, you still have a good Christmas.

Donna027 replied: Lucas appologized this morning he said that he was sorry for hurting me and that he wasnt thinking because he really wanted to go out with his friend. Then he gave me hug and appologized again other then that he he hasnt said much in the past few days. No matter what hes still grounded I just wish I knew what was bothering him

jem0622 replied: I honestly think he misses her and didn't know what else to say. I am so sorry that he hurt your feelings. I know that I am missing some loved ones this holiday season. You would think that it gets better, but for me...it hasn't.

He's clearly either not understanding what he's being taught, being taught the topics incorrectly based on his abilities, or he is not applying himself. I don't think it is the later with the grades. I think he needs help.

lisar replied:
I agree.

holley79 replied: Donna I'm sorry. At least he finally came around and apoligized. maybe when his week is almost up maybe the two of you can go for a bit to eat somewhere and have a serious talk.