Okay my turn to vent - I REALLY have to get this out!!! (long)

A&A'smommy wrote: I'm getting SOOOOOO tired of living with my MIL I feel like I have been living here for WAYYY too long (it hasn't even been two months yet!)!!! MIL is SOOO weird she has two totally different personalities the one that is to your face and the one that is behind your back (in other words she is two faced). Even though she was really wonderful in the beginning she is getting REALLY annoying now! I was hoping this wasn't going to happen but it has begun. I have to say this has been a GREAT couple of days because she has been gone to Missouri helping my SIL build a deck.

Anyway the way I have been cleaning since Alyssa was born was one or two things a day, like I had a laundry day, and a clean the floors day, ect... and it worked the house stayed clean that way and I had plenty of time to play with Alyssa and I didn't stress over the house cleaning. Well anyway I have been doing that here too but for some reason (even though she has four kids) she thinks that the house should ALWAY be VERY clean plus she expects me to cook well as much as I appreciate her letting me live in her house (even though I didn't want to move in here in the first place) I can't do that I have a baby that NEEDS me and deserves attention when she wants it!

Anyway ever since I moved in here I have stressed over the house work so two weeks ago I slowed down and that day I didn't do anything except play on here and play with Alyssa. My FIL personally doesn't care if I EVER clean or cook while I'm living here so he didn't have anything to say. OH and did I tell ya'll after I lost it to Jeremiah about her that day she came up with the excuse that she had been up in the night? RIIGHT so why did you say you were pissed??

Okay now the reason I'm pissed today, well yesterday my FIL called to check and see if they had gotten something in the mail and my MIL decided to tell him to "ask" Jeremiah if I would clean the house before they came home OMG how insulting!!! So now I'm yet again stressed over the house being clean by Friday. All I have left to do is some dusting and cleaning the floors, no big deal right? And it’s because I have been doing ONE thing everyday... grrrr if she says something when she gets back I'm walking out and taking Alyssa with me and I'm not coming back. I warned Jeremiah (LOL he asked me if he could go too ) and asked my mother if she minded if we came and stayed with her she of course said that she didn't mind. We have also decided that she is going to be limited to ONE hour of spending time with Alyssa a day because if any longer Alyssa will start acting spoiled (its hard to explain except that its not how she normally acts) and we aren't going to ask her to baby sit again for a while.

We are looking at houses and have been for a couple of weeks but now we are going to have to switch realtors because ours is not listening to us, and the other day he kind of pissed her off by telling her yet again what we want and that is what we are sticking too.... omg this is so long I will stop now

FroggyJK replied: OH! I got to live with my MIL and my Sis-in-law for 6 months while our house was being built. I will never do it again!!!...... and this was before we had kids.

I don't have any good advise for you, just sympathy!

mummy2girls replied: (((HUGS)))) Its tough jessy to live with family. I will never again live with my sis. It was even hard to live with my parents for 2 months while i was pregnant. I love them dearly and they mean the world to me but it seems that they treat me like a 12 year old when i lived with them. It was insane! Living with my sis was like living with my parents but 100 times worse. She throws out the 5 "w" questions at me when i want to go out. what? why? where? with who? when comign back? And then if i dont leave a note telling her where i was and leaving a number she totally goes bonkers and hunts me down! She never cleaned and never cooked. her healthy menu for her child was mcdonalds one night, pizza the next, every night was a fast fiood object. No wonder i gained alot!!!!!! LOL. She figured that everytime she went out she could just leave her dd with me. like i have no life! so i feel for you my dear!!!!!!!!!

youll feel a load of the world off of you when you move out. i did...

mama3x replied: Jessica I give you credit for even living there for an hour. I would rather hit the streets than live with my MIL...

I don't have any advice but I did want to tell you I know how you feel. My grandmother is the same way, the house has to be spotless the way she kept it when she was having kids. I admit that compared to her standards, my house is not somewhere liveable but heck - my little one is happy and my older one has the watchful eye in me a preteen needs. Isn't that the important thing?

However as long as you're under her roof, you kinda have to put up or shut up with your MIL which SUCKS big time. I hope you find a place soon. She really shouldn't expect you to do her cleaning though... *hugs*

Kaitlin'smom replied: sheesh there is no way i couldlive with in-laws, I love them but I would be constinalty on pins and needles. I hope you find a new realiotr and they listen to you and they can find something FAST. best of luck and hang in there

My2Beauties replied: I'm sorry hon! I wanted to offer HUGS to you! I would go crazy living with anyone else besides Brian. I didn't make a good roommate even to my friends (and vice versa) so I know how you feel, except living with in-laws is probably 10 times worse!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Bless your heart. :groughug: I could never live with my in-laws. I could never move back in with my parents and DH and I have an agreement that no one can move in with us, either. I can't believe you have been there for nearly 2 mos! I would go insane. I hope you find a house SOON!

kimberley replied: (((hugs))) i am amazed you have lasted this long without a huge vent. it is really tough living with other people, especially when they don't see/do things the way you do. the best thing would be for you and Jeremiah to get your own place. that way you can be happy. so i am sending lots of ~~~find a house fast~~~ vibes and more so you stay sane for now. we are here to listen

MomToMany replied: I'm so sorry you are going through that Jessica! I know firsthand how bad that can be.

My X & I lived with his parents and sister since we were married. I got pregnant with Logan, and my mom forced us to get married at the age of 16. My mom didn't want anything to do with me after that. We were too young to get a place of our own. Plus, we were still sophmores in high school (talk about embarrassing). It was so awful! My X-MIL made me cook & clean their part of the house (it was like a duplex, sort of). And she always made me feel like the worst mom in the world. I so wanted to breastfeed my sons, but having no support and hearing comments like "You're starving him" and "You don't have enough milk" every single time I tried feeding them, I gave up. I so regret it now, and I'm also so much more educated on it. Mind you I was 16 when I had my first. I feel so awful sometimes for not standing up for myself more, but with a 400 lb. MIL and the FIL, SIL, and the X on their side, I felt so pathetically small and weak. They mentally abused me with all their stupid comments and critisisms. I did nothing right in their eyes. I stole their "baby boy" away from them. Everything I did with the boys was wrong. I tried "following my instincts", but was told constantly that I was wrong. So, what's a person to do? I didn't have my driver's license then, either, so I couldn't go anywhere, which contributed to my lonliness and isolation. I kept looking for different places to live, but the X wouldn't go along with it. His parents moved out in Sept. of '98, but his sister still lived with us. We lived with them for 5+ years.

I never got a congratulations when the boys were born, or a thank you for giving them such wonderful grandsons. When the X was cheating on me, they blamed me of course. "If you would've given it to him, he wouldn't have to go somewhere else" was a comment I heard a lot. I was pregnant with Ethan when he was doing that, and he told me about his affair the night before he was born. It's what got me into labor. I was 17 days past my due date, miserable, unable to lay down. Then he tells me that. He was sleeping with my (supposedly) best friend, who was his cousin's wife. I would've left a lot sooner, but the boys were still in school, so I waited til school was out and I moved in with my sister Alice, which was in Aug. of '00. I've been living up here ever since.

Sorry that got so long. I hope it doesn't get that bad for you Jessica. I hope you can find your own place soon.

3xsthefun replied: You must be a really strong woman! I couldn't even stand live with my in-laws for a day! It is not my mother-in- law I have a problem with. It is my father-in-law!! He just gets on my nervous to bad. It seems like he is always telling Rob what to do treating him like a little boy! Then when it comes to my kids it is like he is always telling me what to do when he is here. Thank goodness they don't come over to often!

coasterqueen replied: Yikes! I lived with an exboyfriends parents for awhile and they were that way. UGH! Luckily when we lived with DH's dad..he wasn't.

Anyways I wouldn't be able to handle it either. But I have to say one thing even though I don't know your MIL. I bet she comes from the "old housewife" mentality as my mother used to call it. My mom would always tell me that housewives "back then" always kept the house spotless on a daily basis and still had plenty of time for their children...it's today's society that is too lazy.

I don't know if I agree with that BUT this just might be the mentality she has and if she does then it's hard to hate her for it. A lot of people back then DID do that. Their houses were spotless on a daily basis and always made time for their children. DH has two cousins who married English women and that is their mentality to this day. They work 24/7 keeping the house clean and being with their kids (even though their kids are older now).

So even though it might be hard to understand try to see it as *maybe* this was how she grew up. Maybe?

Just a thought. I know I not only "learned" that from my mother but I've seen and dealt with it with DH's two cousins who are like that to this day.

Nicole replied: Oh hon sorry i can`t say i know how it feels as i was out of my mom`s house before age 16 ( i got married at 16) and i`ve never had to live with any of my in laws (thank god)
But i do feel for you anyway as it can`t be any fun

Good luck and hugs, Nicole

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I know how frustrating it is too live with inlaws! I hope you and Jeremy can find a place of your own soon, it sounds like it's time to move! Good Luck finding a house and I agree if you realtor isn't listening you need to find one who will!