Okay how else can I get her to do something?

coasterqueen wrote: I have about had it with my precious Kylie! Besides her being a crab 24/7 I can't get her to do anything! She is getting into everything she is not supposed to! I used to be able to look at her real seriously and say NO and she would stop or I would have to say it again and she would definately stop the second time.

Well, now NO isn't doing it anymore! I had to smack her hand (gently) this morning because she was yanking things off the table that would have seriously hurt her. I would put them back up there and she would still yank them back off. So smacking her hand lightly didn't do the trick.

I had to hold everything in not to spank her! I am really against spanking, too, so I can't believe I even "thought" about it I always thought I would be able to "reason" and talk to my child and we could get through anything, but it's not working.

And if I tell her to put something down she just looks at me and then I start to go get it from her and she will launch it across the room!

Anyone else going thru this? Please tell me I am not alone! My mother was definately right when she told me "just wait you will have a DD just like you!".

Dh has gotten so frustrated too. Him and his brothers and sisters were all angels as kids, always listened, just were great kids and I am really being serious when I say this. Ryan always thought he could talk to Kylie and reason with her like his mom and dad did and everything would just be perfect. BUT NOT WITH THIS CHILD!

Any suggestions?

booey2 replied: Hugs you are not alone, some kids just can't be reasoned with or talked to. We have now resorted to time outs with Thomas where we hold him as we sit on the couch for about 1-2 mins depending on the severity of what he has done. Sorry not much else to add but to say you are definitely not alone.

ediep replied: yea....Jason doesn't listen when I say NO. He even watches me for a reaction when he does things that he isn't supposed to. It is very frustrating, I am not sure how to handle it. I hope that he out grows this.

jen replied: ((((HUGS))))))))) sorry i wish I knew something really good to tell you to try but I just don't have any experience! Good luck! I am sure someone will a good suggestion! I like Booey's Suggestion of timeout maybe that is worth a try???

booey2 replied:
The only thing with this kind of time out is that if they put up a fuss that you have to be ready willing and repared to sit holding them in the chair or couch for the alloted time or it will not work. Thomas screams a blue streak and put up a major fuss the first few times, we only started this type of punishment recently and he is slowing starting to calm down a little.

coasterqueen replied: Yeah, I am not sure if I can deal with Kylie in timeout. First I don't think she would understand it so it wouldn't make a difference and second she would sit there screaming bloody murder and that would be worse on me, lol.

booey2 replied:
Sorry hun, I just checked her age, this usually only works on children 2 and up, not sure what to suggest. Bigger hugs coming your way.

coasterqueen replied:
Oh no problem. I've had other people suggest time-outs to me too and they have kids Kylie's age. They say it works for their kids, but I know it wouldn't work for Kylie, lol. I've tried giving her a time-out in her chair by herself and that doesn't work for sure, lol.

It *is* a good suggestion, though and I think it would work for some kids her age. I will definately keep it in mind for a few months down the road I'm sure I'll need it then, too. Hehehehe

kimberley replied: (((hugs))) Karen!

i know what you are going through. unfortunately until james was almost 4yo he wouldn't listen at all the ONLY way i could get him to stop punching his brother or trying to beat the cat with a toy was by giving him a smack and i don't believe in it either. eventually he just started hitting back so we stopped and tried again to talk to him:( but if we gave him a time out he would trash his room, if we took away his toys he would steal his brothers. my only advice is keep trying to talk to her. it is frustrating as he!! but it does get through to them eventually. i do hope you find an alternative soon.

DansMom replied: Daniel does sometimes do things he know I don't want him to, and he smiles and watches for my reaction while doing it, but then he gets redirected SO easily---he doesn't obsessively return to the activity once I've physically removed him from the area. Clearly he's not HN! I once babysat a high-needs kid and had all of my buttons pushed to the max. But like you I don't believe in spanking so I just fumed, and luckily the parents came home eventually LOL! Anyway, they say at this age to try redirecting, but how well that works with HN kids I don't know. Lots of hugs to you

coasterqueen replied:
I did try redirecting/ taking her attention over to something else, and it did work for awhile/few months. It's just been in these last few weeks that it's not working and what's worse (I forgot to mention earlier) is she is hitting me constantly and more so than she used to.

It's gotta end sometime, right? Hehehe

Jamison'smama replied: You are not alone. No seems like a game around here--Jamison will go to whatever item she is not supposed to go to pick it up and say no no no no --SHE KNOWS that she is not supposed to do it but will look at me and do it anyway. If it is not dangerous I try not to react to the negative behavior but if it is I sometimes have to physically pick her up and take her to another room. ---Where of course she proceeds to throw a temper tantrum--kicking and sobbing. I think I will be starting time outs with her though. Holding her through a time out is hard--I may use a playpen or a gated off room as her time out spot (playpen doesn't get any other use) Not sure how to go about it--I try to redirect and am successul unless she is really stuck on something--.

This is hard--her whining and temper is getting worse and worse I feel like I have to get something in place now.

Big hugs to you!

paradisemommy replied: ooooh you are soooo not alone on this! taven launches stuff across the room too, or if we tell him no and stand up and make a move toward him, he'll grab it and take off in the opposite direction running. he also grabs the stuff he's not supposed to and you can hear him saying "no no no" but it doesn't seem to stop him any and his initial reaction to anything he doesn't like is, he hits. i just keep grabbing his hand occasionally and kissing it and telling him no hitting mama..owie.

if you find a cure..please share the wealth... i agree with you - i know i need to implement some type of discipline NOW but am starting to feel like a really bad parent with an out of control child.

aspenblue1 replied: Isabella has started hitting and laughing about it. You are not alone. When you say no to her she will turn around and say it back to you and continue doing what ever she wants to do. I wish there was something I could say to help but unfortunately not. The time out thing kind of works for her but not always. I hope it gets better soon.

Schnoogly replied: I just ordered a couple of toddler gentle-discipline books and once they get here I'll let you know if there's anything good in there. We are experiencing this already too.

coasterqueen replied:
Please do! I feel like I'm in need of a good book for help! LOL! So give us your review when you get through them! Thanks

3_call_me_mama replied: Cameron laughs and runs right for whatever i have taken him from, wether it is dangerous or not. I own an daycare center so he is around other childrne of various ages all the time. I was hoping that he would learn from the older childrne that when someone says no you don't do it. He will climb on a table and run toward the edge adn laugh or he will get a step stool and put it by the sink and turn the HOT water on adn laugh wehn i say "cameron ouch , HOT". When i take him down he immediately runs back over and climbs back up. He will stand on anything and yell "Mama see" or he will run over to the stove and say "mama HOT" with a big grin adn try to open the OVEN! It is VERY frustrating!!! (Fortunatley we keep the oven locked but still!) He is getting way too independant and wants to do EVERYTHING HIMSELF! If we try to help he says "no me do" and cries and tantrums until we give in or he exhausts himself. (THis include going into the fridge to get his own food and drink ! He also is very free to tell us no when he doesn't want something an dthink sthat just because he says "please" and gives us a kiss he can have whatever he wants. While this was cute at first it is becoming an issue cause he says "please" ansd runs for china cabinet and throws a tantrum when we stop him.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I am having FLASHBACKS!! Aaaack!! Maddie would get this look on her face when she was about to do something she knew she shouldn't be doing and I would tell her no, but she would look right at me just as serious as a heart attack and do it anyway. It was so frustrating, but funny in the same sense. She is a stubborn little toot. She has gotten better about most things and understands now and minds me (most of the time). But, those first few years are sooooooooo hard. She was into EVERYTHING. I couldn't take my eyes off of her for one second. She was truly a handful.



I know exactly how you feel. I am so not the mother that I thought I would be. But, I have realized that I am the best mother for my child and that God gave me her for a reason and He will also provide patience and understanding on how to deal with her.

I'm sorry. I do not know how to tell you to handle Kylie. I had to find a way to handle Maddie. It may seem harsh to most...it even did to me, but it was all that worked. And no, it did not involve spankings or hitting. Just some tough love and lots of time outs. I hated myself for it, too.

If you feel like she is bothering something that will harm her, maybe if you put her somewhere else (time out or her bedroom) and let her 'think' about it for awhile she will take her mind off of it. Trust me, you will do this a lot b/c they are so curious at this age and they want to get into things. Just keep placing her away from the object she is after at that point. And really, at this age it is so difficult to reason with them. I can reason with Maddie now, but could not at Kylie's age. They just don't understand danger at this point. Don't give up though. It is good to talk to them about these things and explain to them what they are doing wrong.

Welcome to the terrible twos!!! ((((HUGS))))

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

Maddie went through this, too. Everyone must have thought I beat her at home....where did she pick up hitting?? That is why DH and I never spanked. We feared it would only get worse. She would grab my face and pinch it and slap me when she had her 'fits'.

coasterqueen replied: Thanks Aimee. I guess maybe I should give time-outs a try ;-) I felt a bit "renewed" after posting this the other day and am still "talking" to her and reasoning with her. For some odd reason she was a totally different girl today, she was fairly nice, pleasant and great to be around. Someone must have switched babies with me early this morning, lol.

Glad to know I'm not alone with the hitting. DH told her the other night when she hit me with her toy and busted open my lip that she hurt mommy and to give her a kiss. So now when she hits me she then gives me a kiss. UGH! I guess it's cute when she kisses me, but for some reason I think she thinks it's okay to hit me IF she gives me a kiss, too.

Hopefully she outgrows this soon.

BTW, I hit the terrible 2's EARLY??? LOL.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

Yep, we did too! It is so hard, but remember this "This too shall pass" My mom used to tell me this all the time. It is only a season of our lives...truly the best season of our lives no matter how difficult. Maddie is so much better now. I never thought she would turn into the sweet, loving, helpful child she is today. Maybe I have just gotten better at dealing with her...who really knows. I don't know how I survived the terrible twos. The threes are trying as well b/c they develop their own personality and think they 'know' what they want, but it is easier to reason with them at this age. It is hard to discipline them, but I wanted to get a handle on her early (before it escalated into something really terrible). I think (I hope) it worked for us.

Good Luck!