Ok my explanation on why...

mummy2girls wrote: Ok this is why I deleted my last post. This may go long but i think i need to explain my self and hope you guys understand.

Before i explain why I deleted That certain post I need to state some things... There is reasons why i felt I was being attacked. It could be because i'm under a lot of stress planning and trying to figure out how i'm going to pay for a wedding and it could just be other things. But i have noticed some things. Lately I have been jumped on for some things I post. It feels as if i have to watch what i post because i am accused of things and people assume things as well. I have been a part of this board since Jenna was 5 months old. and I have always vented about Aron( jenna's dad). being a single mom and what he does to me i get frustrated and i need a place to vent and I have always come here and been able to vent. Lately when I vent i have been told that I keep all my attention and days concerned too much about them( aron and his GF) Its not that at all. Im just mad at what they put me through. bad enough I had aron do things to me but now he has a partner in crime. I have been put through alot and yes I almost had the threat of Jenna taken away by thier threats of them doing it. which put me in a not so good mood! Some of you tell me to just put them behind me and not to focus on them too much. And i do BUT in reality i cant really do that! Why? Well he is Jenna's dad. he calls for sleep overs, my family asks about him and his GF.. (dont ask me why. because i dont know)! They keep telling me he is a butt which i know. So its hard to just put them behind me because everyone throws him in my face. PLUS as much as i am not fond of the man I have to keep in contact with him for jenna. I believe that we all should be civil to each other( in front of jenna) and try to remain civil all around its better for Jenna! I want her too know she can come to me about aron as much as she wants and if she wants to talk about arons Gf then i want her to be able too. Vise versa in thats how Aron feels. He lets Jenna talk about Marcus and even the wedding and he more than willing to talk to her about it. we get along in front of her and she sees it as a positive thing. I have witnesses friends use the kids as pawns to get what they want and talk bad to the child about the other parent and it destroys them. I dont want that for jenna. We are a blended family and we need to act like a positive blended family. So its not that I have feelings for him and constantly have to think about them but Its hard to just push them aside! there has been a couple posts i have did and everyone just jumped on me in a negative way and i even got pm's from some... negative ones! So i guess this last thread just pushed me over the edge.

The reason why I deleted the post... yes I did ask for honest oppinions and i appreciate the honest opinions BUT some turned it into a negative honest ones. To tell me im selfish to want this or so and so. My man point and I kept stateing it over and over was not the parties but the fact she is going waaay across country and the world pretty much and she is planning on coming back 1 week before wedding. What if something god forbid happens and she doesnt show. yes i have every right to feel that nervousness. And again as stated she planned this 1-2 weeks after i announced and asked her to be my bridesmaid. i called alot of bridal shops and you have to order the dresses it takes 4 months or so to come and then the fittings, you have to pick out shoes and so on. This can not be done in a month. No matter what i try. being a bridesmaid comes commitment. where you help with things to be done. plus rehearsals and other things. who cares about the staget and bridal shower that is way beyond it and i did edit it out after.some of you may of been ok to not have your bridesmaids help and such but i feel i want her to help because i have alot to do with alot of planning and i am giving some responsibilities to the bridal party so i dont want marcus's sister to have to do it all on her own. It just turned and made me feel I was horrible for feeling this way about it. Its my wedding, one of the most important days of my life so im sorry if i sound selfish. I know if its commitments and such i should just let her go to africa and come back whenever she wants and i pick someone else and that is what I may probably do. im going to call her and have a talk with her about it.

I hope we all can go past this all. Im not leaving the boards Im just going to take a leave of absence because i think I need to focus on the wedding plans and such. So if im MIA thats why. So i hope you all understand why im doign this.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:

You have every right to feel the way you do... I've been here right along with you these past few years going through the srap you went through....and you're right, you have been through a lot... and without knowing your past nobody shold be making assumptions. You're a strong person to have gone through all of this and still you remain the bigger person. It's a shame not everyone can be as kind-hearted as you.

lisar replied: If you feel I attacked you in anyway I do apologize for that. I honestly dont even remember my reply to the post. As for the Aaron thing, I understand its hard on you.



Its your wedding you do what YOU want and what makes YOU happy. Not everyone else.


Opinions are like a$$holes everyone has one and some stink.
Some are better than others.

gr33n3y3z replied:

Kaitlin'smom replied: I am so saddend by the fact you felt you had to explain yourself. Your not alone in watching what you post. fell free to vent to ME anytime girl.

and to everyone who does not need to vent once in a while is that not part of what we are hear for? why do so many feel judged and belittled because of it? NO one is perfect. Everyone has bad days. I hope we all can learn and move on.

Crystalina replied: I never saw the original thread but to answer your question...I would get another bridesmaid. Plain and simple.



You'll go through every emotion possible before this is done. Vent away!

My3LilMonkeys replied: I never saw the original post either, but I'm sorry you feel you have to watch what you post or that you've been accused of anything. No one should have to feel like that here.

MotherForever2043 replied: I never saw the orignal post either, but I am sorry about what you're going through Weddings can be very stressful and the whole Aron situation is not making it any easier on you..or Jenna. I hope you can get things straightend and figured out soon

redchief replied:
Sorry I was MIA.

My2Beauties replied: Shelly, you didn't need to explain yourself hon, I understand exactly where you are coming from and I understand hon that you are probably so stressed right now, I remember how stressful the whole wedding planning ordeal was.

As far as the Aron thing, I know how it is to be in a blended family, now my situation is different because we all get along, but even if we didn't I'd be in the same situation as you in that you cannot get away from that person. You've come on here a long time to air your vents and questions about Aron and everyone always listened and gave hugs, but I have also noticed lately the negative remarks and I just bit my tongue, because I felt that if it bothered you enough you'd say something, no one should judge you or the reason that you come on here to talk about him, this is your getaway to vent about anything you feel. I'm so sorry you felt you had to even make this post.

jcc64 replied: Big hugs, Shelley. I don't know the specifics of this particular situation, but I hate when people get jumped on here. This should feel like a safe place, and it's not up to someone else to decide whether you have a right to be offended. Everyone has a right to her feelings, and I'm sorry yours' were unecessarily disrespected.

MoonMama replied:

Boys r us replied: I too am sorry you felt the need to explain yourself.

I know I've said int he past that you should try not to focus too much on Aron b/c it just brings YOU down. When I have said that I'm not trying to discourage you from posting about him if that's what is on your mind..after all..this place is somewhere for ALL of us to come and be ourselves and discuss what is on each of our minds and who are any of us to tell the other what we should or shouldn't think about. I can only speak for myself when I say, my advice was friendly advice..not meant to come off as negative. I too have an ex who is the father of my oldest. I too believe in being civil and never speaking badly about him in front of tanner. We coexist, yet I don't let him have control of my feelings and emotions b/c he and I are nothing to one another, we are merely connected by Tanner. So in that light unless he's doing something to harm Tanner...where he lives, what he does, who he dates etc is really of no concern to me. I guess when I made my comment, I was hoping you could see it as that..just advice. Not downing you. In all fairness, you do speak a lot of aron and how things he does upset you..my point was just to try to not be so involved in his life that you know all of these things. You say "hi" hello" How was Jenna on your visit" or "did ya'll have fun" or :what time will you be here" and leave it at that. It's just clean, non emotionally consuming and better for everyone involved...and I hate to see YOU be so effected by a man that isn't a part of your life anymore..he's a part of Jenna's and by that you'll always be connected..but it should end there. He shouldn't be able to upset you the way he does. I say this as your friend who doesn't want to see YOU hurt. It's not about wanting to hurt your feelings or not wanting to hear about it. I just hate seeing you, such a sweet, caring person, be so effected by someone like him. so anything I've ever said referencing him..is the same thing I'd tell a friend in real life. I am not the kind of person to hold back, I tend to call it like I see it. So I hope that maybe you can see this in another light..it's not me attacking you, but rather me trying to treat you as I would any of my friends. I wouldn't say anything if I didn't care!

Danalana replied: I never read the original post...I saw the title and intended to but, by the time I went looking for it again, it was gone. Anyway, I hope everything goes well with the bridesmaids and your wedding

A&A'smommy replied: I'm sorry sorry honey, I never saw the original post (I have been a busy girl). I hate that it got out of hand

kimberley replied: i missed the original post also but am saddened you felt hurt. sometimes just a hug goes a long way. if you ever feel like that again, i am an email away and can be here in a flash.

mummy2girls replied:
oh I know hun and i understand. I want it to be that way and man do i ever try but he calls to tell he wants jenna for a sleep over and then goes into a vent about his life and such. I try to stop him and say i dont need to know this and that and sometimes i hang up. But just like i said i could be just fine not hearing his name for a week and then my lovely sister would call me and then go into aron so his name was thrown in my face yet again. and now that she discovered that her friend is a friend of arons gf she will call me up tell me "gossip" about aron and i tell her stop which she just ignores. So you see its hard to just turn that part away from me...