Ok I need your opionions please. - This may mean someones job

TANNER'S MOM wrote: Okay I have a job that is really understanding and we don't have a lot of rules. Do you work and we are good. I mean we do try to sound professional. We are a low key company, we do all of our work from the computer or phone. No customers walking in. It's okay here to have a beer or two for lunch as long as you don't get stupid. Now that's my job and how it is here... just for back ground.

We also are great when it comes to kids. My boss is a single father who knows whats it like to have kids and have emergency's and needs. Many times I have had to leave to run and do this or that for the kids and he is great. A few times I haven't had daycare due to school gettting out at 1, or Tanner being sick and he has always said.. bring him up here. Grab his DVD player, and some toys he is good here. And the same for him.. if he needs to brings his daughters up here to work for a bit... we all pitch in and entertain them and we are good.

Now that being said here is my delima.

My assistant Brenda.. has a daughter who is 19. She is currently unemployed and living at home. Well her daughter doesn't have a car.. and Brenda lives in the country like I do. Her daughter is looking for a job, and comes to town with her Mom EVERY day incase someone calls her for job interview. Okay here is my delima.. she is HERE EVERYDAY.. for hours. I mean hours.. at least 4 days a week. The only time she left the office yesterday was to go pick up lunch.. and come back and eat it. This is a place of business. and I hate this. I personally feel like she is taking advantage of the rules you know. I mean 19 is not 8..and I am going crazy.

I know when it comes to your kids you have to be careful how you word something..even if they are 19..it can still lead to bad. So what should I do. Does anyone else see my problem. I don't want her to take advantage and then David blow and she ruin the whole thing for everyone either.. which has happened before.

Help!

Kaitlin'smom replied: I totaly see your problem. My boss has said no childcare bring her in, but I persoanly wont not till she is older and I dont have to keep a close eye on her, plus we do have clients that walk in and I have work to do and its hard when you have a young child around. Sorry back to the subject my question is why is hanging around the office? cant she drop her mom off if she needs the car and come back tot get her? I dont know about where you live but normally when someone calls you for an interview its not the same day, so she could plan for that day to bring mom to work so she can have the car. Another question dod mom not trust her at home? does she do anything in the office? like help mom or answer phones? Its deffinalty a weird line but something need to be mentioned to her, bufore like you said it gets ruioned for all.

booey2 replied: That is a tough one. I would definitely mention it to your co-worker that maybe her daughter could spend some time at the library or someplace else during the day. I wouldn't confront her with it but try and work it into your everyday conversation let maybe starting with an example of how you too had to bring Tanner or one of the other kids in to work "when they were little" one day because you were "stuck" for a sitter. Explain that you understand her dilema but the office is no place for 19 year old to be all day long. If the behaviour continues let her know that you will have to bring it up with the boss because it is affecting your work day. Let her know that that would be your last resort.

HTH

Terri

holley79 replied: I would maybe talk to Brenda. Maybe she is just hoping her daughter will land a job real soon and this is her only option w/ job interviews. Maybe suggest her daughter go "pounding" on doors for a job since she is in town.

coasterqueen replied: Hmm, I agree a tough one. I don't see a problem with the 19 year old being there from time to time as the same as you bringing Tanner on occasion. Age isn't the factor for me. It's being there everyday that is for me. I'd think at 19 she'd want to venture out more. At 19 I'd be asking my mom to borrow the car and go do something. Is your place of business in town where other shops, etc are accessible? Maybe Brenda is trying to hint that she wants you to give her 19 a job there?

luvbug00 replied: Oh I would be soooo annoyed. I would agree with holley on this one.

Calimama replied:
I used to work in an office all day long and I'm 19. Anyway I guess I dont see the problem unless she's be disruptive or just flat out annoying.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: She's looking for a job, but all she's doing is haning around your office?

Um... maybe if she's looking for a job, she should actually go out and look for a job.

You should work 9-5 when you don't work... you should work at finding work.

coasterqueen replied:
So did I as 19. Heck I worked in an office setting at 17. But the point is we were working. This girl Mel is talking about isn't. She's just there with her mom, who is working.

booey2 replied:
Thanks Karen, I agree that working in an office at that age is definitely acceptable and commendable but just hanging with mom is a different issue and that is what the original post is about.

Terri

Our Lil' Family replied: Put her to work! Tell her she can stay there until she finds a job but she can also help around. I'm sure there is some filing she can do or answer phones or something!

Calimama replied:
Thanks for clearing that up.

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well thats it.. I find her a distraction to me and her mom. I find that when I look over there her mom is working but also visiting.. or printing out resume's for her daughter. Using our phone to call about jobs for her daughter who isn't very into the job hunt. To me it's no different then having a friend hang out in your office all day.. would you do that NO... it's not cool. A visit every now and then yes.. but all day 4 days a week NO.

Today I had to pee so bad.. but she was in the bathroom putting on her make up.. and I had to hold it.

Friday she came in around 2 with some food that smelled so good.. and I said Hilary you can't do that.. it smells to good. Teasing.. she said well I had to watch you eat at noon.. and to be honest it made me mad. I said I WORK here Hilary.. and left it at that.

Oh and when it comes to talking to my boss.. he is going to say.. well I am her boss.. he will come to me and tell me to deal with it.. if I let it go that far.. it might not be the results any of us want.

Mel

moped replied: Maybe this would warrant a warning about it

Kaitlin'smom replied: Is Brenda a good employee? if so I woudl say something NOW before you get really annoyed and fire her, If she is not a good employee here is your reason to let her go.

Either way Mel you have to say something, its sounds like she is disruppting the office and that Brenda is taking advantage, but no only having her hang out 4 days a week but using YOUR office equipment for personal reasons.

coasterqueen replied:
Sorry, I went back and read my reply and it sounded very snotty. Please forgive me, it was not my intention.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Well if you are her boss, maybe tell her that while you can appreciate her helping her daughter, her performance is slipping because of all the time and energy she's focusing on her daughter.

Maybe give her a time limit? Like, tell her that it's fine for the rest of the week, but that you don't want this to get out of hand...and that while occasionally bringing in a child that need ssupervision is fine, her situation is not warranted and you'd appreciate if she could get her daughter to hang around somewhere else during the day, as you've received a complaint or something....

if worse comes ot worse, if the daughter is going to be there all day, you can make her work. Without pay.

booey2 replied: I agree a warning should be given and if it keeps up explain to Brenda that some changes will be made in the office. Sorry I know I can't work with distractions doing what I do everyday.

Crystalina replied:
I agree with the above quote. Why doesn't she just wait until the interview is scheduled and then drive mom to work? It seems to me like this girl just doesn't want to be alone at home all day. She sounds immature all around to have her mom doing all this stuff for her.

Lie. Tell her your boss is questioning you about it and you have to do something about it. She can't be there all day everyday.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I don't see why she can't be at home hanging out. At 19 can't she just stay home? Doesn't make much sense to me. I would do something about it if it's causing a distraction. There are lines that need to be drawn.

CantWait replied: I guess I'm kinda lucky.
My last job in Edmonton, Robbie (10 at the time) was able to come to work with me daily from 8-4 during March Break and anytime he was off school.
As a military community we knew how hard it was to either find a sitter or pay all your wages towards it.

I also went to work with my mom when I was sick, or just off school. She worked in a donut shop (I would sit in the back room when I was sick), or help serve customers (grab donuts, after a while I got to use the cash).

I guess it would all depend on what she's doing while she's there, is she helping, being disruptive etc...

If she's truly not being disruptive, I don't see the problem with it. However if she's constantly talking or just hanging around your desk, because I know that gets annoying (I use to have my office in a public area where kids also hung out and they would do so around my desk), then you need to speak to the mom.

Good luck.

Boo&BugsMom replied: If it was a daycare issue then I can see, but she's 19. She can take care of herself and be home. I'd like to know what eventually happend Mel. Did you say something?