Ok I need opinions

Hillbilly Housewife wrote: Ok so every year my dad's family has a "traditional" hockey game on December 26th in the schoolyard across the street from my grandmother's house.

Generally, the rules are that non-family members cannot play. Like, boyfriends and girlfriends... the couple has to be at the very least engaged. This rule was put in play when my cousins (and me) started getting of age where the bf/gf might want to spend a Holiday with their SO.

Anyways, now, one cousin in particular is/was psyched because FINALLY after like 7 years of not being able to go, him and his girlfriend of 5 years can go, and can participate in the game - but the "organizers" (2 of my cousins who have been passed the torch so to speak) are refusing to let her play, saying it's "family" only, and since they're not engaged, the rules are the rules.

Anyways there was a pissing contest between an aunt of mine (my male cousin who's gf can't play's mom) and my cousin (the organizer) on our family website, and I posted a question on whether my children would be able to play later on in life, since technically they're "bastards" - they're illegitimate, born out of wedlock. Not that that's a big deal... but when I had first had Zach, my grandmother didn't recognize him as a great-grandson. Another cousin of mine had a boy a year after I did, and my grandmother proclaimed that "finally, the first great-grandchild!!" Some in my family were insulted on my behalf... but I let it go, because I really don't care. I've had two daughter since, and at the end of August another cousin had a baby girl - and again, my grandmother proclaimed that "finally, the first great-granddaughter!". So obviously, my grandmother does not consider my children ligitimate family members... am I wrong in that assumption?

So another cousin of mine (I have several cousins... lol) got all "caps" on me and was like "nobody's ever called your children that!!!" so I replied that that yes, my kids were called that... but that it wasn't the point - I was over that - my question was reffering to the fact that since they're technically not deemed "family", like my cousin's gf, would they be refused to play?

I haven't received an answer yet.

ETA - duh... I am asking for opinions - I guess I should mention that the opinions I want to know are whether I should even be ticked off at this or not....

because I'm really ticked off.

mom2my2cuties replied: YES YES YES YES!

You have EVERY right to be ticked off! I would have FLIPPED on someone!

Calimama replied: Yes.. I'd be steaming. How do you keep your cool so easily? Can I borrow some of that "magic?"

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Boy howdy I'd be ticked! And I think that after 5 years together, your cousin's gf should be considered "family". What a giant PITA. And I can't believe your grandma. That's just wrong.

cameragirl21 replied: no offense, Rocky, but your grandmother does not sound like a very nice person. married or not, those kids are her flesh and blood and i don't know how she can deny them.
as for the hockey game, tbh, i'm not fond of this family only rule to begin with because i think the holidays are about family and togetherness and that should include anyone whom family members deem worthy to spend the holidays with them. but whatever, that's beside the point because obviously the rules aren't about to change.
anyway, yes, i'd be beyond peeved if i were in your place and i don't know how you can keep your cool tbh. of course your kids are family, that should not even be a question.
i'm really sorry you're even having to go through this.

redchief replied: Rocky, I don't know how you keep it so cool. I'd be beside myself with fury.

skinkybaby replied: Wow! I'm assuming this is your dad's mom? Has your dad said anything to her about it? I can't believe that!

And as far as the game I would think the more the merrier!

Hillbilly Housewife replied: How do I keep my cool? By having dealt with this kind of crap from that side of the family since... well since forever. I just don't care enough to REALLY care, ya know?

But it's the principal of the matter.

I'm trying to get them to say that my "illegitimate" children are part of the fmaily, of course they are... so that I can turn the tables on them and say well if my illegitimate children are family, whereas illegitimate means not lawful in the context of birth and marriage... well then if my illegitimate children can play, why can't his illegitimate wife?



I should mention that it's not just HER that is being refused... since my cousins and I came "of age to play" at 15, our bf/gf have never been allowed to play - which wasn't really an issue because nobody really brought nayone home for the Holidays, and when they did, well they were engaged.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
No my dad doesn't have a computer!

I've been sneaking peeks all afternoon to see if anyone else responded... but I guess nobody wants to be the "one" to put a comment to that...

CantWait replied: I think the rule is stupid, plain and simple, married, not married, engaged, bf/gf, everyone should be allowed to play. Whatever happened to being "one" over the holidays.

I'd be furious. Not that I think it's right, but to answer your question, I'd say as per Grandma's rules, then no your kids wouldn't be allowed to play, and that's just plain WRONG and STUPID

My3LilMonkeys replied: personally I think I would have been ticked off about the family only rule since it was created...the holidays are about spending time with those you love and care about, family or not.

And your grandmother....well..I've always been taught to respect my elders, but I'd have a hard time not telling her off.

redchief replied:

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
I did tell her off two years ago. I went apesh** on her behind.

I do believe I have a post or two on that, if you care to search for it... ETA - I guess that happened during my long absence from reality, because I can't find it.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Here's the actual series of posts: