Ok, I need a couple suggestions - should we sit down and have a "talk"??
grapfruit wrote: Ok, look at the picture below. This is one our SIL took of our nephew. (born 10.4.07) He was maybe a week or so old in this picture.
What are your thoughts? Do you think there are some potential problems with this? I'll share my thoughts after a few people respond...
IF you think this is a problem, would you sit down w/her (and maybe Grandma and others) to offer support and advise. She IMO is doing some stuff I completely don't agree w/.
I know it's her baby, and not really my (our) place...however. I think in some cases she's putting his health at risk. Not maliciously (sp?) but it's just she doesn't know any better...
HELP!
momtoMegan&Alyxandria replied: You already know my opinion.
holley79 replied: I, honestly, would not allow the cat on the baby's blanket just about on top of the baby. I allowed Peanut and Gyp to sniff Annika when she came home but as for getting up on the bed or couch while she was laying on it was a no no for them. They seemed content to lay on the couch or floor beside her.
This is JMHO though.
ETA: Do you know for a fact the cat is in that close of proximity all the time or is that a one time thing?
grapfruit replied: Holly, I completly agree w/you. Sniffing a little, ok, SITTING or LAYING no way!!
My thoughts:
1. What if she (the cat) just went potty???? She could have "potty" on her paws, which is now on your baby
2. That cat is NOT declawed. If he starts moving is she going to freak out and claw him? Or try and play w/him b/c he's moving?? Even if you're RIGHT THERE she may scratch him before you have a chance to grab her. And couple a nice scratch w/thought number 1....
3. He's so little and young. Is having that cat that close to him going to cause allergies later on?
4. She's a kitten, so unpredicable and playful. If you're letting her be by him all the time (and they allow her on EVERY surface in the house which I already don't agree w/) if you have him laying on the couch and walk away from him for a min (he doesn't roll yet obviously) is she going to jump up on him???
I guess I just totally don't agree w/putting a cat (or dog for that matter) that close to a new born.
I ALSO don't agree w/bringing a newborn to WalMart 3 times the day you're home from the hospital... Especially when it's windy out...
moped replied: Sorry, but it may not be something I would do but personally it is not your concern and I think you could risk really upsetting her..........sorry........and not your baby either.
grapfruit replied: I know it's a good point. But she's been doing dumb stuff like that from day one. My fear is that something bad is going to happen to him. I know he's not my baby but if it was me and I was doing something stupid, I'd hope somebody would tell me.
So really, you'd just stand back and see what happens??
moped replied: Well I mean is she 100% putting a cild in danger? Is he going to survive? I mean I didn't know what I was doing when i had Jack either, but I often wished people would let me ask as opposed to offering advice when it wasn't asked for - it can be very upsetting, and no offense but coming from soenone who doesn't have children can be even mor eupsetting.......make sense?
grapfruit replied: Well I was meaning her bf's mom (our MIL) who had 6 kids and Cyndi who has 2.
I think yes, she's putting him in danger. Maybe not immediate like hanging him out of a window, but health wise, I'd say yes.
And some of it is truly just not knowing. But she'll never ask for help. She is convinced she knows everything there is to know.
Well I guess you're right, we'll just wait and see.
boyohboyohboy replied: is there anyway she just posed the cat there for the pic???? i think i know what you are saying, and honestly i am always one for helping any child, so i would say what was on my mind, and let what ever happens from there happen. i just couldnt live with myself if something happened and i didnt speak up..besided i am sure there is a way you can do it without saying you think she is a bad mom..just kind make a comment about it...
mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I agree with Jen. If the cat is sleeping in the crib or always climbing on the baby's stuff, yeah, that's gross. But who knows if it was just a one time photo op, kwim? It doesn't seem like a really big deal to me.
A&A'smommy replied: cat is probably NOT going to scratch him, and no actually having the cat around can actually prevent allergies more so than causing them. I wish Alyssa had been around animals more when she was little because now she has an small allergies to them. I wouldn't necessarily allow my cat to lay on my newborn or anyone else's newborn but as long as she isn't allowing the cat to get to him at night or sleep with him when she isn't around then he is fine. And I agree its not a good idea to tell her that she is doing wrong by that baby she is a first time mom and while she isn't being overly cautious like most first time moms she is still the mom and as long as she isn't putting him in any immediate danger I wouldn't say anything to her.
Anthony275 replied: a picture can mean 1,000 words- these are one of them. it's not like the cat was laying across his body or anything, and ive seen worse parenting skills than what you "described"
Cece00 replied: sorry, but I think you are being overdramatic.
My3LilMonkeys replied: Honestly, I think you would need to know a lot more about the situation before you could say something. Is it a regular occurrence or a one time thing, the temperament of the cat, how well the situation was being monitored, etc.
Jamison'smama replied: I completely agree. I would be completely ticked if someone offered an opinion of my parenting based on whether my cat was near them.
Maddie&EthansMom replied: I have to go with the majority here. It looks like the cat curled up next to the baby and she thought it would be a cute picture. The cat is probably her first "baby". I know when we brought Maddie home from the hospital we let our dog sniff her and get used to her. Of course he was a bit hyper so we were very cautious, but I have several pictures of him next to her when Maddie was newborn b/c I thought it was cute. Uga was our first baby and it was just sweet to see how much he adored Maddie. I just don't think that picture reads "bad parenting" and I wouldn't say anything to her.
A&A'smommy replied: I'm just wondering but what other stuff is she doing?
luvbug00 replied: Mya grew up arround 3 cats and we just kept them out of the area. I understand your worried about the baby. They are so vulnerable. I don't know the temperment of the cat or what other things you have seen. unfortunately all you can do is keep distant eye on the little one while you are visiting. For me watching my friend kim's son ( she is not a "natural" parent, meaning she lacks some maternal instincs) and helping her out when she needs it with him is my way to calm myself and know he is safe and being taken care of. that's all you can do.
Hillbilly Housewife replied: Bah. I don't really konw the background... and I wouldn't have a problem with the cat there if it's just for a picture or two. I would never leave a cat alone with a baby unsupervised though. Or any other animal, really.
However... I've been to walmart the day I was let out of the hospital. Heck with Naomie, I went trick or treating on Halloween...she was born on the 30th. She wasn't even 24 hours old.
With Emilie, she was born on teh 28th of december, i hosted a new year's eve party.
But I'm just crazy that way.
Besides...most cats will clean their paws if they have leftover potty on them. As for allergies... most people get allergic because they have no contact with the allergen. Which is why a lot of college students leave their family dog behind and go to college... and then come back after a few months and are allwergic all of a sudden
skinkybaby replied: I completely agree.
mom21kid2dogs replied: I acclamated our dog to Olivia immediately upon bringing her home from the hospital. He sat by me (or on me) when I nursed or fed her, held her, he sniffed her, checked her out when she cried, etc. Never an issue.
For the record, I'm the polar opposite of a germaphobe so I took my daughter (born in October) everywhere after birth. She went to church 5 days after she was born and attended her first football game the day we were released from the hospital. She Christmas shopped, we hosted Thanksgiving that year (25 people), etc. She's seriously the healthiest kid on the planet. As long as the child had no birth issues that would have lasting health effects, I'd certainly let it alone unless you desire no relationship with her in the future.
Brias3 replied: I guess everyone has their reasons to be concerned, and I can't say I'd be comfortable myself with having the cat that close 24/7, but perhaps this was a posed picture or one in which the cat went over to "investigate" and sniff the newest member of the household.
I'd probably drop this one- it seems to be a matter of personal opinion, so you'd really risk insult to her. Plus, its by no means "endangering" a child IMO, its just not a choice I would personally make, KWIM?
luvmykids replied: When the twins were born, we had two cats who were cuddle monsters. I had to totally retrain them b/c they loved to snuggle up with the babies, curl up on their blankets, etc. I wasn't over concerned, just figured we had to break the habit. I know there are stories of cats suffocating babies, etc which is why common sense says you don't let the cat in the crib, and keep an eye on the baby in other rooms, etc.....but overall it wasn't a huge fear of mine. Especially based on this pic, obviously mom was watching or she wouldn't have seen the photo op
And I'm opposite of a germophobe too, the twins weren't out and about all that soon because they were high risk, but Macie was running around with me from the get go.
I know you mean well but TBH if someone confronted me over something like this, I'd probably dismiss it anyway and be a little ticked. IMHO it's not worth harming the relationship.
kit_kats_mom replied: I wouldn't say anything. Now if his life is in danger, then yes, by all means offer suggestions. A scratch, although not ideal, is not going to kill him.
Seriously, show of hands ladies. How many of us were told "don't ever lay your baby on the bed or he/she will roll off? How many of us did it? How many kids fell off of the bed? How many of us felt sick to our stomachs and never, ever did that again?
My point is, no matter what you tell her, chances are she's going to do things her own way. If something happens, she will learn from her mistakes. I'm sure she loves her son and won't put him in a really dangerous position. The only thing that will come of you telling her before hand is that you will have "I told you so" rights...but no one really appreciates those anyway.
Maddie&EthansMom replied: 
Yep, kids are pretty resilient.
Hillbilly Housewife replied: 
I have 3 kids and I've done it with all 3.
My3LilMonkeys replied: With both kids nonetheless....
punkeemunkee'smom replied: I do see where you would be concerned...I have a friend that found their 'first baby' (their cat) laying on the baby's face because of the smell of milk. It depends how close you are with her and how concerned you really are with her 'bad parenting'. A word to the wise however (and I mean no offense by this) but I had a friend who offered parenting advice based on what she thought I was overlooking...she did not have any kids of her own...notice I said HAD a friend.....
coasterqueen replied: Same here. We were out and about as soon as I could move around.
Our cats were around the babies, but I kept an eye on them.
I cannot comment on just seeing that picture. I have no clue if that was 'staged' so that the mother got a picture of the baby and cat. I have no clue if she doesn't watch the baby around the cat, etc. So I cannot make a comment as to whether you should talk to her or not.
coasterqueen replied: Oh I did some stupid stupid things for sure, that being one of them. When you are a parent (First time or not) sometimes you just don't think and things happen. You hope nothing serious, but little things happen.
Boo&BugsMom replied: It looks like he's on the floor, not in his crib. Our cats are not allowed in the crib but they are more than welcome to curl up next to Aiden on the floor. IMO, the cat is not going to pose much threat to the child as long as it's a friendly cat, unless the cat literally plants his butt on his face. In fact, I think the more you try to keep a cat away, the more it is going to want to bug the baby, and the animals need to see that babies are not a threat too. Our cats have never tried to strike anyone with their paws either. If they feel threatened they run away. I really don't see a big deal about it. They look cozy.
lisar replied: I'm here to. LOL.
And I agree with everyone else. I dont see anything wrong with the picture.
My2Beauties replied: I'm exactly the same way, I think it's actually a good thing to expose babies to germs. I had a huge Derby party two days after Aubrey had come home and there was at least 50 people there in and out all day. Obviously, no smoke in the house around the baby etc...but nonetheless tons of people there and she got held a lot. I take my kids to the grocery store, out to eat, to other people's houses, etc....Hanna has allergies a little bit (I mean what do you expect I live in the Ohio Valley, the worst freaking place to live if you have even the slightest allergies) but other than she hardly ever gets sick. Aubrey has allergy issues right now as well too, but other than that she has been a very healthy baby, with this little "allergy spell" being the first time she's even so much as had a runny nose.
PrairieMom replied: 
Boo&BugsMom replied: Ditto! I think we went shopping 2 days after we were home from the hospital. He went to church and stayed in the nursery I think by the time he was 1 month. Exposing them to germs is a good way to build up their immunity. That is the natural way to build it, and that is how we were designed. With the way we poke our children with viruses through needles without hesitation, I'd say this is nothing in comparison.
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