Ok. I had a melt down this morning - Vent and Tears

TANNER'S MOM wrote: Ok, Remember when Dh took the freaking stupid dumb job w/ out my approval.!

Well the kids and I have seen him 10 minutes in 4-24hr periods.

Tanner has cried every nite.. Aside from my missing him and taking care of all the household duties and farm duties, my child has cried himself to sleep every nite for his Daddy.

The only time I see Randy is when we pass in the driveway or dirtroad and he kisses and Tanner and the crying begins again.

Except today I started crying too.

Dh got his schedule and he was to work OT..on the night shift again.

Since he works 6-6.. 12hrs at night..on his day off after working he sleeps! Well they split his days up..he is off Thursday and has to work Friday Night..then off Sat. and back to Work on Sunday. So he really has no time off to spend w/ us he will sleeping getting ready for work that night.

I lost it! I just cried. It is a BIG adjustment. And to be honest I am lonely for my husband. I miss sleeping beside him, and he hasn't touched me in 4days. I know thats nothing in reality, but today it makes me cry. I am sitting at work crying as I think about it. I guess it is good that after almost 8 years of marriage I feel this way.

It's breaking me and Tanner's heart.!

Mel

mckayleesmom replied: Awww...cheer up. I know how you feel...Leithan has been gone 2 days shy of 3 weeks now and I have been dumped off in a town I don't know...I don't even know where Target is. But whenever I start feeling crappy or hating the way things are going...I realize that alot of wives husbands are over in Iraq and some just found out they are staying yet another year. I now it doesnt' make things all better...but it helps a little. Maybe once you guys are back on your feet or find another way to make ends meet, he can look for a less difficult job.

TANNER'S MOM replied:
No different job in the future. He has been w/ this company forever and will be until he retires!

lool

kit_kats_mom replied: I'm sorry you guys are having a hard time adjusting to your new routine.

It's taken us about 3 weeks of DH working 6:30am-6:30pm 4 days a week to get into a good routine. I find our family functions much more smoothly when there is a regular routine. Everyone is happier. Now I give K a snack at 5 then we hold dinner off until 7 so we can eat as a family. That's really important to me since it's about the only time we get to sit together to chat. DH has been going to bed at 9 so we barely talk either. . Can you move dinnertime up to 4:30 or 5 and still eat as a family? And maybe DH can read Tanner a story (or something else that Tanner likes) every morning or before he leaves for work? I understand that he needs to catch up on his sleep but just explain to him that even a half hour a day would help Tanner adjust. It's important. My DH gives K her bath everynight and gets her ready for bed. It's their special time and I know K enjoys it very much.

mckayleesmom replied: bummer....well hopefully his workload will lighten up soon

3'smom replied: I understand. My dh is a cop and worked nites before we moved in Feb. he worked days and evenings and then requested nites! It's been a week and I hate it. He leaves at 8pm and gets home around 6am. Then sleeps most the day. This is 5 days a week. So I sleep alone which I hate. Then his nites off he' stays up as he's used to it. I'm mad as he knew I wanted him home at nite and he still did it!

gr33n3y3z replied: It probley hurts him also but its something he has to do

I know my HUbby hates working night shift but it has to be done.

Maybe Randy can make time for you guys just ask him

Josie83 replied: I'm so sorry Mel! That must be so hard for you and Tanner too I hope that you get to soend some time together soon . . . will he have any weekends off or anything? xx

JAYMESMOM replied: It is hard. I can understand ecspecially when it comes to the kids.

Let him know how it is affecting Tanner and see if he can't dedicate 30 minutes a night just to spending time with him.

And then set a certain time for the two of you.

I know it is hard having the bed empty but trust me eventually you like the space and then can't get used to them being there.

A&A'smommy replied: AWWWW Mel!!! I'm sorry!!! (((((HUGS)))))

amymom replied: awww

TANNER'S MOM replied:
Oh honey my Dh's is 6 at night until 6 in the morning...

The other way is perfect and what he used to work!

kit_kats_mom replied:
I understand. that's why I was thinking moving dinner up to early evening (then you & the kids just have snacks later) & having DH spend time with Tanner in the mornings before DH goes to bed for the day. Could DH cook dinner and have it ready for when you get home from work? Even if it's frozen meals, the time spent together is the most important part. OR maybe he can start breakfast when he gets home and you guys can do breakfast as a family? Just throwing ideas out. :-) and as for time with you...can you come home for lunch....afternoon delight? LOL

crap! Now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head all day
sky rockets in flight...afternoon de-light.

JAYMESMOM replied: Couldn't you do dinner before he leaves or maybe do breakfast when he gets home.

TANNER'S MOM replied:
We live so far away..almost an hr to town..so he lives before I get home! I dont see him but what time we might pass on the dirt road in the mornings.

SOUTHERN MOMMY replied: Oh hun i am so sorry my DH delivers babies and his hours depend on the unknown so we never know 5 days a week when he leaves in the morning what time he will be home if he even gets to come home there have been times that i have had to take the kids to the hospital to have dinner just so we can see him. It is sad but you will adjust to it i'm with everyone else i know he is tired when he gets home from work but if he just could spend 30 min. before bed with tanner it will help him adjust. and make the most of when he is home

MommyToAshley replied:
I am sorry! I can only imagine how hard that must be. I hope he can get his days off together in the future so that you can at least spend some time together.

ediep replied: so sorry Mel!! (((((HUGS)))))

I would be miserabe too!!! My Dh occasionally has to travel for work and I hate it!!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. It sounds like you need to sit down and talk to your DH and discuss him finding a different job.

aspenblue1 replied: I am so sorry you are going through all this.