Oh man. MIL has really gone and done it now - religion no debates please

kit_kats_mom wrote: Let me preface this by saying, I like my MIL. I think she's a very nice, kind hearted woman, but she's rather dense.

She's been wanting to come down and her DH isn't interested in visiting "Gods forsaken land" meaning Florida . So knowing how much she misses her grandkids, we offered her one of our frequent flyer flights. She just has to get her schedule in order with DH's and she's welcome anytime. Well, DH and her were emailing back and forth about dates she may come. She said something along the lines of well, I can't come Easter weekend. I trust you will be taking the girls to church since they need to learn about Jesus and be saved.

Ok, it irritated me but I'm used to it and I just brush it off but for some reason, this time, it's really gotten under DH's skin. He's been brooding for two days now and he's seriously considering not giving her our free flight and not having her down at all. I've not had a lot of time to really discuss it with him but I'm guessing he feels the same way I do. No matter what we do, in her opinion, we are not raising our children well if they aren't involved in church. We are some of the best parents I know and frankly, we are doing a great job with our girls. Besides, it's not like we haven't talked about going to church. We just haven't thought that Lauren is quite ready yet (started weaning yesterday!) and we don't really want to be "that family" that only shows up on Easter and Christmas anywayy KWIM? We plan on going because sure, I'd like them to know the bible stories and I used to really enjoy sunday school. But it's our choice of church, denomination etc.

I know that DH has spoken with her in the past (pre kids and pre me) about not trying to save him. Apparently, for awhile there he was unable to have a convo with her without her bringing religion into it and he pretty much told her to stop it or she'd lose her son. So she controls herself for the most part but man...she really messed up with that email.

luvmykids replied: I'm sorry, I'm sure she means well but sounds like she should know better by now

stella6979 replied: I don't think it's ANYONE'S place to tell someone they need to go to church and be saved. Worry about yourself and let others live the way they choose.

A&A'smommy replied: I'm sorry honey!!! Some people realy don't understand that doesn't do ANY good at all... for me all it does is push me away more!!!

Kaitlin'smom replied: theres the deviding line.....sorry she bugged your DH so much, I bet in her mind she think if she keeps up it will save him and his family, or maybe she just wanted a reaction who knows.

Calimama replied:
I agree. No one should be forced to go or forced to carry a certain religion.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Well, quite frankly I don't blame your DH one bit for not wanting her around. I have a friend like that. She is so condescending and she's typical of what you find in many churches. Quite the reason it's so difficult for Scotty and I to get involved in a church. I hate when people get so holier than thou and start shoving religion down my throat. And I'm religious!!! It's like you're never doing enough or doing the right thing...people are constantly talking down to you. Sharing information when asked is much different IMO than treating someone like they are a bad person/parent for not doing as they think you should do or 'as the bible says.' You're a great mom and you have good intentions. Don't let her get to you. I'm sorry she got to Woody this time...that was not a good move on her part.

A good friend of mine shared this quote with me and I use it all the time. I love it!!! "She's so heavenly minded she's no earthly good."

DansMom replied: Well, as one of the few pagans around here, I'm sure everyone knows how I would feel about the woman's behavior. I do think Woody is right to draw a line in the sand and stand for what he believes is right. There's nothing more sick-feeling than pretending to accept with a nod and a smile statements that don't sit right with you. I'm not sure what the answer would be as far as the visit, but I think it's reasonable for Woody to speak up about not liking her statement.

Boo&BugsMom replied: The term "God prefers fruits of the spirit, not religious nuts", comes to mind.

Why is Florida "God's forsaken land"? I'm confused on that one.

kit_kats_mom replied:
LOL. I dunno. Last time he came down Woody went outside to welcome them and shook Carls hand, said Welcome to Florida! and Carl said "hrumph, Gods Forsaken Land". I guess he thinks God prefers Cornfields in the middle of IL. LOL

DansMom replied:
I am laughing so, so hard right now! Especially since Daniel is allergic to nuts.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
That's wierd. Does he think because it's hot like he** a lot that it must be considered Hades or something? I would not have known what to say other than...HUH?

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Glad I could make you laugh!

Seriously though...I am a Christian, but I would never try to rub something in someone's face. I am glad to answer questions and try to be a model for what a Christian should stand for, but that does not include coming at people with pitchforks, persay. One should still use a soft tongue and be humble, no matter what, religous or not. It's these situations that leave a lot of people with a bad taste in their mouth when they think of religion. It's aggrivating really. I don't understand how some people can't see that you catch more flies with honey than you do vinager (if that's how the saying goes??). Or is it bees? I dunno...you all get what I'm trying to say!

amynicole21 replied: At least she doesn't sneak your girls into the bathroom to baptize them with holy water like my Step mother and father

Honestly, at this point I doubt she'll ever learn to keep her yap shut. Sorry she bummed Woody out though.

kit_kats_mom replied:
Oh NOOOO! Amy. Ok, I'm totally cracking up right now. Seriously? That's so freaking crazy it's funny. Maybe we should get them together. LOL

I'd be really ticked off but she's probably already done it. For all I know she had her well blessed and we were all drinking holy water and bathing it while we were there last time. After my big "Jesus F'n Christ" that I let loose with 4 years ago, (In a pregnancy induced road rage incident) I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm unsalvagable.

kit_kats_mom replied: Geez Amy. I'm just picturing you catching them red handed, tip toeing down the hallway to Sophia's bed with a little vial of holy water. Bwahahahaha!

Crystalina replied:
I cannot stand Florida! Half of my family lives there. I think on the way up from Puerto Rico they thought they had had enough traveling. I spent 3 years of my life there and for me it is h*ll. Not the people and not the scenery because that is beautiful but it's the heat. I cannot stand darting from A/C to A/C. It's miserable for me.

C&K*s Mommie replied: We are residents in "God's forsaken land", eh?

grapfruit replied:
I'm so happy that my church isn't filled w/those type of ppl!!!!


As irritating as it is I still wouldn't want to deprive her of seeing your girls, but I would have to have a sit down about the always trying to "save" and stuff. I'd probably crack my teeth from grinding them in irritation.

jcc64 replied: Yikes, Cary!
Jesus didn't come at people with a checklist. It's so unfortunate when people turn something intrinsicly good like religion into nothing more than an exclusionary club. It boggles the mind when that someone is a grandmother speaking about her own flesh and blood. She more than anyone should see the inherent goodness in her children and grandchildren, regardless of their religious affiliations and practices.
And Amy, I'm sorry but that story was hilarious!

Boo&BugsMom replied:
This was a thought of mine too. I'm sure if I dig deep enough there are ones like that in my church, but the ones I come in contact with are nothing like that. We're so fortunate to have such down to Earth and genuine people at our church.

redchief replied: If your DH doesn't trust her to visit and keep her religious opinions to herself, I think I'd trust that judgment. He knows her as well as anyone could, after all.