Oh Dear - I need professional advice

moped wrote: My company is very "cliquie"......you know. I am not in the click and sometimes it really feels like it. Anyways, so my summer student is leaving this week and I found out through people there was a goodbye lunch for her.....I was not invited. It is NOT about the lunch it is about hte principal of it all. SO I mentioned it to another girl who should have been invited and wasn't - she was a bit miffed as well - neither of us are in the click. So, somehow it got back to the invitor person and she came as B*$&%^@D us out BIGTIME and actually walked out of my office while i was in mid sentence, which for her position (assistant to the President) I thought was VERY unprofessional. Now, should I go finish it with her or just leave it???????

I am very non-confrontational believe it or not and pregnant so I would think it would be quite a one sided talk on her part, but I would like to go tell her how unprofessional it was to not invite the person that she worked for and to walk out of my office in mid sentence.

But then I think I should just leave it and suffer it out with her until mat leave......

TANNER'S MOM replied: Not me.. I would tell her.

Or email her.

I would let them know that you feel it's unproffesional not to INCLUDE people in the office.. I would let her or your HR manager about the CLICKISH people and what it does to have morale.

I hate women who act like they are in high school when they are grown BEEP women..lol

coasterqueen replied: Oh I'd SO tell her. I wouldn't email her -- she'll know you are too chicken you-know-what if you do that. Just simply go say what you said about not getting invited especially when the girl worked for you.

Why do women have to be such.....well you-know-whats all the time?

hoosier momma replied: I would definitely go tell her. That totally sounds like something that would happen in my office also. You should have been invited if the girl worked for you, but the other gal not hearing you out before leaving your office is downright rude and unprofessional.

Calimama replied: UGH! I'd go tell her off for you!! Immature people.

stella6979 replied:
I agree. I'd tell her where to go, that's for sure.

lovemy2 replied: Oh yeah - go tell her Jen - that is sooo not right - not professional - not grown up - just plain childish......and I would make sure someone above her knows about it too...

luvmykids replied: DEFINITELY tell her! That is a crock, everyone should be invited, period, but especially since she worked for you for the summer. Not to mention that in a position of "authority" it's her job to help things run smoothly, not creat this BS

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I think I would email her and CC it to the president of the company...That way what you have to say is in writting and there is no way she can twist the situation like she might be able to if you have a cinfrontation in person...plus you don't need to have your blood pressure hit the roof. I am sorry she is such a &%^^$$#&&^(*&^$$#@%T(*)))*(&^$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Calimama replied:
That's a great idea.

gr33n3y3z replied: I would have followed her sorry butt out of your office and chewed her a new butt until she stopped bc what they did was so dang rude and you know if thats the way ppl. want to act who in the heck needs those loosers any way
geeze thoughtless,rude ppl. get on my nerves.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Yep, that was a cheap shot...go rip her a new one.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I would talk to her AND I would talk to whoever her boss is about how she acted. That's ridiculous. Aren't they out of high school???

grapfruit replied: IDK, I'd tread lightly. I think the best thing to do is be sugary sweet to her so she can't turn anything back on you.

But an HR dept would be one of my stops. Her attitude is not productive, and not good for moral. I've been in companies that would have thought that what she did was a big deal.

moped replied:
The HR person is in the click!

moped replied:
There is only one person above her technically......

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
Wow!

redchief replied: You sure you don't work in city hall here?

I'm actually going to go the other way here. I would pull your intern aside and tell her that you would like to treat her to lunch yourself if you feel the need to say goodbye in your own way.

Petty B#$%^&!@ thrive on drama. She'll find some way to make you seem an attention starved wannabe. If you need revenge, while the clique is at lunch torpedo her and anyone else you feel the need to (I'm sure you can think of something that won't be traceable back to you).

That's what I would do.

grapfruit replied:
Nice. I have a feeling you're stuck on this one, but I liked the get revenge while they're at lunch thing.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
I think Ed has a great idea! I don't like confrontation and I typically let things slide because honestly, they are going to do what they want to do, kwim? She probably knew it would bother you and that's why she got defensive right off the bat. Yeah, it's petty and immature, and completely uncalled for, but don't show them it bothers you. It will eat them up inside knowing you are a step above them and just show them that they truly can't hurt you.

Take the girl out to lunch. Show her your appreciation on a one-on-one basis. She will appreciate your thoughtfulness and the others will probably realize what jerks they really are. GL Jen!

moped replied: I was thinking of taking her out myself actually Ed....thank you!!!!!

She could make my life pretty miserable for the next 4 months!

MyBrownEyedBoy replied:
If you go the e-mail route, CC it to HR

moped replied:
HR girl is in the click.....

TANNER'S MOM replied: Even if she is in the click.. I would still cc her.

Maybe she will think twice about what HR means.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: That just floors me that the HR girl is in a clique. HR is supposed to be neutral.

moped replied:
Yeah that would be ideal - NOT AT ALL

In fact, she is the persons best freind - wonder how she got hireD?

grapfruit replied:
Along this lines, sometimes there are rules in the handbook that frown upon behavior like hers, you might check that out and then photocopy the page and leave it on her desk.

Calimama replied:
What about the person above her? Could you go to them?

moped replied:
Good thinking - there are a million "policies".........

moped replied:
The president of the company - I think he has bigger fish to fry.......LOL

Unfortunatley that is who she works directly for - her title is "Corporate Administrator", not really sure what that means but she has worked for him for about 20 plus years.....................agh

Maddie&EthansMom replied: hmmmmm....what a pickle.

It would have been easier had she just kept her &$%# mouth shut in the first place. I mean you probably could have lived w/the fact that you weren't invited to her 'party', after all, we all know you would throw a better one anyway. But she had to go spouting off and that just put her in the wrong.

It needs to be addressed to someone.

moped replied:
I kind of think so if not to just protect my own butt.......

We are a fairly small company with about 40 employees so the HR person is more like a "hand out the pay stubs person"..........ya know?

I could go tell my direct boss, incase it gets back to him somehow........he loves me!