OH WOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Boys r us wrote: Rick and I have this ongoing battle between us. I don't believe in physical punishment and he does. I won't say that he believes in spanking in the terms that we probably all think of it...but he will swat Braedon easily on the butt if he is REALLY bad. I don't even like that and this is something we've argued about a lot. I've tried to show him and explain why it's not good...he could see my point but still resolved to doing it b/c I guess it's the way he grew up and he didn't see anything really wrong with it.
So I was reading the info on Attatchment parenting that KitKat's mom posted and I emailed Rick the link so he could look at it too...anyhow, this is the email I got back from him, I'm very impressed..it seems like we both agree now and I can't even imagine how much easier that is going to make getting along when we're trying to cope with our wild child!!!
Here is what he wrote back:

Date: Thu, 7 Oct 2004 11:25:15 -0400
To: nichole.m***********
From: rick.m**********
Subject: RE:

I'm gonna have to agree. I have been thinking about the spanking thing
and it bothers me a bit. Don't know if
You have noticed or not but I have been laying off popping his butt and now
reading this stuff reinforces the way I'm
feeling. I've noticed that he is hitting back way too much and it needs
to stop,whether it's me, you or Tanner he's hitting.
He's thinking that hitting is ok when he is mad. So I have been ending
the swatting that I do when he is bad.

-----Original Message-----

MommyToAshley replied: That's great!

I don't believe in spanking either, but the important thing here is that you both agreed to be consistent in your discipline. DH and I differ on some things (not spanking but other issues), and it is really tough to compromise when you really believe that your parenting style is what is best for your child. But, I think that it is important for both of us to be consistent and we've both had to compromise. This parenting stuff isn't easy sometimes.

My2Beauties replied: I'm glad you guys have come to an agreement. Great parents must compromise

mummy2girls replied: im glad he has decided agaisnt it. Now can he come and talk to aron because he belives spanking and slapping is a good punishment.

I feel that when you spank a child it confuses them. because if youy tell them not to hit and bite and such and then you spankl them for hitting what are you teaching them? Nothing. So they think if daddy and mommy spank me then its okfor me to hit also!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: That's great! DH and I used to spank our older children. But it didn't really get us anywhere, it didn't deter them from doing the behaviour. Once we took a parenting class our views on this drastically changed and we haven't spanked our children in years.

kimberley replied: glad you got through to him!

kit_kats_mom replied: Wow! Glad I was able to help. I feel like I accomplished something today

Sounds like he was already on the fence about it though.

Now, off to my conferance call for work where I (nor anyone else) will accomplish anything LOL

Josie83 replied: I don't really know either, way, Cassie has never been naughty enough that I would want to smack her, but if she did something really bad then I think a tap on the hand or behind might help her to understand that she's wrong - not enough to hurt her but enough for her to realise she's been bad. But i can't really imagine her doing something naughty enough to get smacked! Its al;ways a controversial issue!! xx

A&A'smommy replied: I don't remember seeing that thing on attachment parenting could someone give me the link to it.... I don't know what to think about it....

kit_kats_mom replied:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T130100.asp

A&A'smommy replied:
Thanks!!!

A&A'smommy replied: OMG I wish I had known about this sooner it makes me feel SOOO much better about Alyssa's feeding habbits I'm in tears because I HAD NO IDEA!!!! Thanks!

kit_kats_mom replied: Sure, There is a lot of good stuff on his site. Of course, it's all from the AP perspective but he's also a pediatrician and he has 8 kids (or something like that) so I like to at least read his info and then compare it to the Academy of Pediatrics info. Then I make my own decision...I usually side with Dr. Sears.

loveydad replied: Good! The only time I've ever spanked my kids, I always felt really bad afterwards. It's usually if they scare me , like running out in the road or hiding and I can't find them. I agree, spanking is bad, especially if your mad when you do it. I apologized to my kids whe nI did that, even though they were too young to understand. A little bit of pain may go a long way, but it may not be curbing the vbehavior--- just agging it on.

Kaitlin'smom replied: thats great you both can agree

A&A'smommy replied:
That site has some really usefull sites it has been really helpful ESPECIALLY since Alyssa has started eating table food, it was been awful!!!