Not Going So Well
Kirstenmumof3 wrote:  It's breaking my heart to see him like this. I feel just awful. I don't know how to help him. I just watch as the chemo takes it's grip on his little body. He's affraid to eat or drink. I just feel helpless. I'm constantly on edge and wondering how things could possible get worse. I left today to do laundry at the Ronald McDonald House and I feel like I'm not going to get back there fast enough. He starts his chemo again today around 12:00, but knowing my luck they will start it while I'm gone. Then he starts this other medication, it's an immune suppressant and he isn't tolerating that very well either. They gave him demoral, morphine, gravol and some other anit-nausea medicines before I finally broke down and said to just give him the ativan. I feel like the worst mother in the world.
amynicole21 replied: I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be strong in front of him, but I'm sure you are handling it all wonderfully. Poor little guy  I hope the chemo knocks it all out quickly so he can end his treatments. 
C&K*s Mommie replied: You are a GREAT mother!! I know that everyone here wil agree. Your son has the strength unlike most adults, that can only come from strong centers of their parents. 
I wish that I could take the place of Spencer, but I know that he is in great hands and care of where he is. You take that time to get your thoughts straight, he needs you to continue to be strong.
All our best to you and your family throughout this. :hug: Please continue to keep us posted.
jem0622 replied: All I can do is give more HUGS
My2Beauties replied: Oh my heart is breaking for you I could not possibly fathom what you are going through and you are such a strong person to be handling it the way you are, I don't know if I could cope. I hope that this chemo knocks the leukemia out and that Spencer is on the road to recovery quickly. Poor guy I am so sorry hon, if you need anything please let me know.
mckayleesmom replied: 's and prayers.
Kaitlin'smom replied: oh hon I am so sorry I wish I could do more to help you.
My local radio station did a telathon for St Judes to help with research to fight and cure this in children and I became a Partner In Hope in his Honor.
your a great mom.
punkeemunkee'smom replied: We are praying for you and Spencer!
MamaJAM replied:
amymom replied: We are praying. Take care.
Sarah&Mackenzie replied: My thoughts and prayers to all of you
TANNER'S MOM replied: I am so sorry that you have to watch this. I can't imagine what it must feel like to be in your place and not be able to make it instantly better. I am praying for you and Spencer. I am praying that you get a little peace and he does too. I am hoping that this leaves his body as fast as it come. Children are amazing....but in this case.. the Mom is too!
Love you and you are in my thoughts. I have talked to many Moms from here on the phone and they have always mentioned you and your son to me. We have all had you in our hearts.
coasterqueen replied: I just can't imagine dealing with this. I am so sorry and my prayers continue to be with you and Spencer.
aspenblue1 replied:
DansMom replied: Kirsten, I can't imagine what you're enduring either. You and Spencer are in my prayers. Stay strong, mama.
A&A'smommy replied: Oh honey I can't amagine what its like to watch your baby hurt like that... you are not a bad mother your just trying to help him feel better!!! He is going to get better it is just going to take some time!!!
Kirstenmumof3 replied: Thank You! It's so nice to have a place where I can come to to write how I'm feeling and to recieve such wonderful support! Thank You all so much!
Jamison'smama replied: Hugs and prayers to you---you are a brave and strong mother. What a blessing you are to your children. Hugs to Spencer.
ediep replied: oh Kirsten....I just can't imagine having to deal with this....I don't think I could handle it. You are so strong and so is Spencer. I hope the treatments take care of this soon so he is on the road to recovery
you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers
Mom2Boyz replied: We are all praying for Spencer I can't imagine how hard this must be for you all. He is a very stron little boy
3_call_me_mama replied: Stay strong Kirsten. You are a wonderful mother and are doing all you can. He is a brave boy and it must be heartwrenchign to watch this. Prayers daily are being sent above for a recovery adn a cure.
jcc64 replied: I can't imagine the pain you must be in, Kirstin. You are doing the absolute best that you can for him, and once he gets through all of this agony, you are going to be closer b/c he knows you've been with him every step of the way, and that you would give anything to take all the pain away for him. Someday, this will all be a horrible detour from your lives and not your day to day reality. In the meantime, big big hugs to all of you.
Edward's Mommy replied: My heart is breaking for you and your family!!! I want to go to school for Pediatric Oncology, and this makes me want to study it even more!!! I'm thinking of you and pray so hard for you!
kimberley replied: stay strong hon. my continued p&pt your way and pls don't hesitate to call if you need to talk, cry or anything.
mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I think you're doing the absolute best for him, which IMO doesn't make you a bad mother at all. You are a strong "super mommy" in my eyes. P&PTs to you all during this rough time...
Insanemomof3 replied:
mom21kid2dogs replied: This has to be so hard on everyone!! I remember you saying you had linked up with a mom or two who had been through this before. Use that support and strength to help you through those darker moments. They certainly understand like no other how hard this is!!
We are continuing to pray many times a day for Spencer and your family!!!
luvmykids replied: Kirsten I can't even think of anything to say, other than you are a wonderful mother and I admire so much the strength and courage you have and that you've passed to your children. You are all in my prayers daily, big hugs
CantWait replied: You're doing everything you can for him. This isn't your fault. Hang in there
gr33n3y3z replied: Kirstin hang in there hon
Maddie&EthansMom replied: Kirsten I wish I could hug you in person and I wish there was something...anything I could do. My heart is breaking for your family right now. Hang in there. You are a wonderful, strong mother. Lean on each other.
Boys r us replied: Oh Kirstin, my heart aches for you and little Spencer! I've said it before but I don't think it's ever been more clear than it is now, YOU are one of the strongest and most courageous women I know! I pray for you and your family everyday, I hope that some way some how, you and Spencer can feel the love and HOPE we all are sending your way!!
mummy2girls replied: (((HUGS)))) You are a wonmderful mom! I knwo the pain your goign through and i just wish i could jump on a plane and come be with you! I am so sorry thsi is happening! Your Spencer is a very strong young man! Ill be praying for you all !!!!!!!
My3LilMonkeys replied:
PrairieMom replied: hang in there.
Halo42101 replied: Lots of hugs and prayers to you & Spencer during this difficult time. May God bless & be with you both.
Hugs & prayers from,
Jessi & Theron
MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Kirsten, my Secret Santa, I wish there was something I could do to help you out. I know that these must be some dark days, and my own experience in a children's hospital pales in comparison. The only thing I can say is don't be afraid to vent and fall apart sometimes. You have to. If you keep it all inside, it turns poisonous. We are all here for you, rain or shine. Hugs to you and Spencer. I'll keep praying.
MommyToAshley replied:
Oh Kirsten, I can only imagine how hard it is to watch Spencer like this. But, hang in there. Just keep reminding yourself that you are getting through the worst part, this will make Spencer better in the end.
You are a WONDERFUL, loving and caring Mom. This would be hard on anyone, and I admire your strength.
I will continue to keep Spencer in my prayers. I wish I could do more.
|
