New here and need answers to a question - simple discipline

truetigress wrote: Hello everyone. I'm truetigress, a 35 year old mother of one. She's 13 months old and she's walking. She's also very observant when it comes to things in the house. The living room has become her room. Complete with her immense toy collection and our ever present attention. She's already learned that if she reaches for the remote control and pushes a button, the television station changes. She already knows that if she pushes the two glass doors inward on the entertainment center that it will "pop" open. Therein lies the problem. The remote is not the problem as it will not harm her. But eventually I am afraid that she will push in the glass doors, pop open the doors and push them into the wooden entertainment center causing them to break and do her some serious harm. My fear fuels my need for this to stop. I have tried "taking her away from" this situation and occupying her with a toy far away from the distraction. However, she returns to do the same thing again and again. I've tried occupying her in the room adjacent to the room (which is the kitchen) where she has her own cabinet to open with kitchen supply (toys) are stashed so she can play with them....but eventually she goes right back to that entertainment center. I was hoping that a parent here or parents as the case may be might also have a child around her age that does the same or has done the same, as I am a first time parent. My husband is a night shifter who has to sleep most of the day and work the rest of the night. I am sort of on my own here.
I have resorted to "lightly swatting" her diapered butt when she touches the glass but it hasn't been effective either.

Also while I am here I need to know if anyone has experienced a child who will not walk outside in the grass as she does all over the house? I've tried coaxing her with toys to "move" in the grass and she just stands stock still and cries as though her heart would break....what's a new mom to do?

Thanks in advance,

truetigress

MommyToAshley replied: Oh boy, I have been there and done that... as have many of the Moms here. Your daughter's behavior sounds perfectly normal to me. At her age, she really doesn't have the ability to distinguish right from wrong, or the willpower to stop herself from doing something she shouldn't even if she knows Mommy is going to stop her. The best thing is distration, but as you discovered, that doesn't always work. I would recommend putting some kind of gate around the entertainment center or blocking off that area.

As for the grass thing... LOL... I remember the first time I tried to stand my daughter in the grass, she would lift her feet up as high as she could to avoid touching it. She didn't want to have anything to do with the grass, but it didn't take long before she was running around in it. You could start by putting her on the blanket and let her wonder to the edge and feel the grass with her hands or toes. I always try not to push and let my daughter explore things at her own rate, it seems to make them a little less traumatic.

I am a first time parent too. My daughter is 2-1/2 and I am still learning as I go. I don't know how I would have survived the first two years without the ladies (and a few guys) here.

I am looking forward to getting to know you better!

Alice replied: Hi, and welcome!

I think your daughter is behaving perfectly normally too! My friend's daughter was afraid of the grass too. Try putting some toys on it-- a Fisher Price slide or something if you have the room. I imagine her curiosity will solve the problem! This is her first spring walking at all, so she's afraid of what's new. I don't blame her.

As to the entertainment center, I agree with Dee Dee. All you can really do is a firm NO each time you catch her near it; other than that, you have to protect her from herself until she's old enough to develop a little judgement ( it won't be until she's about 18, so hold your breath )

You could probably find an old remote control for her to play with; call some applidance stores and ask. Or get her a toy phone with lots of buttons.

Again, welcome!!

Isabelita replied: Hello and Welcome

I think the other ladies have given great advice about the entertainment center. If you are consistant she will eventually learn. I think the key is consistancy. Also, my daughter goes through phases of being interested in certain things, and sometimes, after being fascinated with something, her interest just dies away...

As for the grass, I think she will come around to that in her own time Have you tried taking her to the park? I'm thinking the ones with paths, and then she could explore in her own time, walking on the grass and feeling what it is like. I too remember my daughter being slightly cautious of it to begin with, but she soon came around.

Good luck!

JAYMESMOM replied: I experience the same thing with my 14 month old. She however is learning how to open closets and doors also. It seems repetitive but whenever she goes to open the entertainment center I give her a firm and loud no that is not Jayme's that is mama's and you will get hurt. It sounds silly to give a baby a reason but I have found that is more productive than just saying no. She has taken to picking up things and asking, "Is it Momma's?" or "Is it Daddas?" so she is obviously learning.

As for the grass - my daughter wouldn't go on it for the longest time but now I can't keep her off of it. Let her explore it on her own - it seems strange to them for sure. If you have a little slide that would be perfect. We let Jayme learn to use the slide in the house and then moved it outdoors. She won't stay off of it and has taken to going down in more than the "ususal position."

Good Luck and don't give up - she only wants what she can't have and it will be a while before that changes. A long long while. LOL

ian'smommy replied: Welcome to the board. I think the advice it perfect. I had a problem with my son getting into things he shouldn't when he was that age... I still do, but they are all new things..
He would constantly change the channels on tv... I put latches on our entertainament center so I didn't have to deal with him opening them... Mind you mine are not glass... We do have a curio that he likes to hang around even now. I have told him repeatedly not to because he can get hurt.... At this point with him, and with your daughter as well, it's curiosity and the inability to control the behavior. It is stronger than their ability to listen to what you are saying... My son ended up breaking the glass in the curio one day about a month ago... He cut his fingers. Not real bad but enough to not do it again...
She is still young yet so I think putting something up in front of the glass will help... Toddlers have a curiosity that keeps us on our toes... You'll get through it...

ian'smommy replied: Sorry, lack of sleep will do this to me... Not "I still do" HE still does...

atlantamomof2 replied: Hi and welcome!

My son is 15 months old and our house is pretty much baby-proof as well. When he started walking (just before his birthday) I began letting him go into the kitchen. The only thing off-limits was the trash can. Instead of moving it, I used it as a way to teach him self-control and what "No" means. The first couple of times I said "No" about it he just looked at me (because I really hadn't used "No" before). He'd go right back over to it so I felt unsure of what to do next. Well, one afternoon I was starting dinner and I had my back turned to him and he opened the lid to the trash can, and stuck his arm down into the trash and began picking things out of it!!! When I saw him I yelled "NO!" so LOUD (unintentionally, but I was sooo grossed out!) Well he lost his God-given mind! He cried like I had beaten him! After that he would walk over to it, babble some negative words at it and walk away!

He also went through an affectionatley biting stage as well as hitting(not affectionately! ) For these behaviors I say "No" firmly and set him on the floor about 5-6 feet away from me. He is pretty sensitive and this has been very affective. He cries and comes back over to me and wants to be comfoted. He doesn't do it again. He no longer bites and only occasionally hits.

We can lock our entertainment center doors so we don't have that problem. We do, however, have our computer desk in the living room because there's nowhere else to put it. We got one of those multi-gates that can surround things (like your Christmas tree, the baby, if you're outside, etc) and it goes around the computer desk. I know he wouldn't leave that alone if we gave him access to it so we decided to make that off-limits to him.

As far as the grass goes, she'll most definately grow out of that in time! Especially when she sees other kids happily playing in it! I wouldn't worry about that fear at all, it will fix itself.

Hope these few experiences have helped a little. And again, welcome!

ian'smommy replied: My husband had something to add... He said not to worry about the glass breaking because it is tempered... A toddler pushing on it will not be enough to break that glass... It is built to withstand things like that... Hopefully that will allieviate your fear of her getting hurt... In the meantime, you will just have to deal with her curiosity until she has the self control to stop herself....

mammag replied: We had the same kind of doors on an entertainment center when kristen was a baby. She did the same thing....they almost draw kids to them. I would just take them off if you can. We just had to start putting the vcr & dvd players up on top.

My sister had a glass table that Ashley (niece) used to try to climb on. She told her no so many times. One day she did it anyway and the glass broke and she cut her legs. It could have been much worse but luckily was not.

Your daughter is so young and even if you think she gets it....she may not. You could always put them back on later.

The grass thing is sooo normal. All my kids went through that when first getting in the grass.

IansBigBuddy replied: Hello all, I am Ian's daddy and husband to Ian's mommy. Just wanted to throw in my two cents on this. In addition to the glass being tempered, and not having to worry about it, they make a clip you can use. As you know you cannot use the HOOK style clips that catch as a drawer is pulled out. However, we ran into a similar problem with our computer desk. It has a bi-fold door effect. However a bi-fold door, child proof clip was too big for it. So we improvised. We purchased a refrigerator clip. It works like a seat belt. There are two pieces, each having a sticky end. Each end attaches to either door and it "buckles" or "clicks" together. As hard as Ian would pull, this clip wouldn’t budge. We actually got him frustrated cause it wouldn’t open. Eventually he got tired of it and moved on. One warning though, we made the mistake of putting it low on the door. Once he saw us pop the clip enough times, and once he was strong enough to pop it himself, he started getting in. So we had to buy a new one and move it higher. So if possible, put it as high on the doors as possible.

truetigress replied: thanks for the advice everyone *S*
I am going to try the refrigerator clip...can I buy that at any hardware store?
Also I am going to continue to be repetitive ...riight now we have her plastic boat in front of it and a huge pillow stacked on that. She doesn't touch it nearly as much now but every once in awhile she will throw a fit if she can't "click" it open.

We've got each shelf of the entertainment center full of things....vcr, dvd player, surround sound device....and digital cable box too. They won't fit on top of the tv right now because currently we have speakers on top. I do thank you for that advice though too.

About Amber walking outside...she will now walk everywhere outside except the grass...but I will remain patient. We almost took a trip to the park today but unfortunately I woke late and my husband had to sleep for work. It was going to be a family day in the park. Entice her to the many colored swings and such. We will have to try that soon.

I look forward to sharing with all of you as my daughter continues to grow and test mommy *S*

thanks again,

truetigress

ian'smommy replied: You can pick up that refridgerator clip at a baby store like Baby's R Us, or at a hardware store like Lowes or Home Depot. I know that Lowes has them for sure. Good luck...

CCTandME replied: Wow this sounds familiar. My almost 13mo old is always pushing the glass doors and knows to push the button on the front of the TV to turn it on/off. My 3yo did the same when she was younger. Seems the more attention I give it, the more she wants it. My oldest didn't like grass or sand. Boy was the beach and the sandbox a disaster when she was little. We had to carry her at the beach. She would freak if her feet touched the sand. Played OUTSIDE the sandbox. She outgrew it by her 2nd summer walking and now at 6 loves the beach, the grass and the sandbox. Barefoot all day if she could be.