Neither Handed?

Boo&BugsMom wrote: Saw the post about left handers, so I thought I'd post about this one. In my 7-8 years of teaching preschool and running and owning a childcare I have never encountered this. I have a child who does not have a preference to which hand she uses. Actually, I think she gets confussed in which one to use. She uses her right better I have to say, but she sometimes chooses her left and isn't as good. Would you just let her be, or would you encourage the hand she's better with?

CantWait replied: My son does the same thing sometimes. I would say leave it. She's getting practice either way, and discouraging children to use one hand over the other is something that old people use to do because it was taboo.

Ashlynn's Mommy replied:

Boo&BugsMom replied: Yes, I totally agree that children shouldn't be forced to use one hand over the other. Thanks. I just don't want her to fall behind in things because she isn't using the hand she is best with, ya know? I don't even think she knows which one she likes to use. I guess I wont force her to use one hand over the other and didn't want to imply that, but I think it helps her to say "why don't you try that hand or the other hand if you are having a difficult time". Does that sound acceptable?

BAC'sMom replied: AMBIDEXTERITY

Here is a few links
http://www.braincourse.com/ambia.html
http://www.newscientist.com/channel/being-human/brain/dn1459

I say leave the child alone, let him or her use whatever hand they want too. That is what my Mom decided to do with me;)

luvmykids replied: Maybe you could see if the parents have noticed and how they're handling it and go from there. I think you could also ask her if she notices that it seems easier one way or the other and go with that. If she feels better with the left, she'll catch up on the skill but if she's doing much better with the right she'll grow into it being her dominant hand too.

Brias3 replied: Aliyah is ambidextrous (sp?) to some degree. Only difference is she has a hand preference based on what she's doing. She likes to eat with her left, brush hair and teeth with her right, and with writing, she uses both, mostly right. However, her handwriting is so similar each way that its very hard to tell which hand she's used. I find it pretty unusual but hope that she'll eventually take on a one hand preference for things.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Thanks for the advice! Her mom is a single mom and doesn't work much, if any, at home with her on these things that I can see or that I hear of. That's one thing that bugs the heck out of me about this, and other situations, with this one. I wont go there though and leave it at that. I think I will just leave her be, but if I see her struggling with the left hand if she uses it, I'll just recommend her or tell her she can use the other one if it gives her too many problems and let her still choose, but throw the suggestion out there for her. Thanks.

msoulz replied: My son was similar in preschool, but eventually (i don't recall when) he just started using his left hand and that was it. We were concerned as well that if he did not use just one hand he would be behind. But he still does a lot of things right-handed still, like playing baseball. All is well with him, and hopefully your preschooler will have the same thing happen!

AJDomagalla replied: My 9 year old son is ambidextrous. He uses both hands equally. When he was in preschool (he was 3) his teacher noticed that sometimes he colored with his right hand, sometimes his left. She asked me what I thought, and I said just to let him be. His handwriting isn't great, but it seems about the same with both hands. He plays baseball and started out trying to use both hands, but eventually picked his left hand to throw with, but he's still a switch-hitter and he can throw with either hand in football and basketball. Hoped this helped.

AJ

Boo&BugsMom replied: Wow, I forgot about this thread. I guess my problem is in the fact that whenever she uses her left, she really struggles with things. And I mean REALLY struggles. But when she uses her right she doesn't. I should also bring up the fact that two of her friends in my home preschool are left handed and she has a really bad habit of always copying what her friends do and how they do things. And I mean a really bad habit...it's pretty dramatic. That, incorprated with her mom not working with her on it at home, probably does not help at all. The little girl already has a LOT of focusing problems that will probably get her in a bind when she goes to school next year, so I guess I am looking for any ways to help her out. I just don't think by letting her use whatever hand she wants is helping at all. She has not improved, if anything, she has been at a constant stand still with her small motor control all together for the last year and even seems to have fallen behind in her scissor skills. I really think I need to remind her to keep using her right because that hand she has much less problems with and letting her choose has made her fall behind where she was at months ago. If she didn't show a very large skill difference in hands it would be different. But, I think she just has a serious problem with wanting to be like her friends and that is the extent of it.

I sent a checklist of sorts home with mom the other day. On there I put that she needs a lot of help with her small motor control. We'll see if that helps. Some parents just don't understand that reinforcing things at home is NECESSARY for children to learn and grow. Please...everyone...always remember that. I can always tell which parents work with their children at home and which ones don't.

Brias3 replied: Hmm, I don't know if that's cause for huge concern just yet. Mason's still, for the most part, ambidextrous. I try to encourage use of the right hand, which I have identified as the hand I BELIEVE he tends to favor, if either. I don't know, I'm letting it take its course for now, figuring he'll eventually display preference. I don't remember this so much in my older two though, so I'm not sure.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
If she weren't showing a complete difference between her hands, her mom worked with her on things at home, she wasn't so into just being like her friends, and she hasn't shown a decline in her small motor development (which is my biggest concern), then I wouldn't be concerned either. However, knowing this child as well as I do for the last 4 years of her life, I am concerned. He's already going to have some issues when she goes to school. I'd hate for her to have more issues than she already will.

This is beyond her just choosing which hand she is 'comfortable' with. It is not about preference at all. This is not the issue. I wish it were that easy. Then I wouldn't be analyzing it so much. She isn't ambidextrous, that's the issue. There are many other factors that go into this as well that I don't want to dive into.

If she "could" use both hands well or weren't as extremely different as they are, then I wouldn't make a huge deal of it. But all the signs are not in her favor and as a teacher, I need to help her, because I know darn well her mother wont...that's a whole other thread! Just trust me on this one...I've known this girl for 4 years. If you all knew everything I knew, you'd be concerned too.

Brias3 replied:


Sorry if I offended you at all by suggesting you take it lighter. I didn't mean you shouldn't be "concerned", I was simply trying to relay that I believe I experience something similar with my child and thought I went through something similar with my older child. I didn't realize there was other causes for more concern in this issue you're facing. My apologies!

Hillbilly Housewife replied: It's probably a case of the copy kitties... but still... I htink encouragement to use whichever hand she wants to is good. I'm pretty ambidextrous. I can do most things just as easily with my left hand... but I prefer using my right hand. My handwriting is nicer with my right hand... but I can write with my left too.

Zach is like that too, I've noticed. He changes hands, it doesn't seem to matter to him which hand he uses. Emilie so far has shown tremendous preference for her right hand.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Oh no, don't worry, I didn't take offense. You do not have to apologize. Sorry if I sounded like I was upset. I was just trying to explain my point, that is all. I tend to ramble when I do that. Please know you did not upset me.

The last two days I have told her to make sure she uses her right hand and she is showing improvement again. When I tell her that, she never gives me a fuss and just says "ok".

She tends to be a little slow...not mentally challenged, just doesn't remember simple things easily. She will usually look at her friends when I give them directions and then look to see what they are doing instead of worrying about her own work. So, she sees them using their left (she's my only right hander) and I think she copies them because she thinks that is what to do. I don't know if that makes sense. I think she relies on her friends to show her what to do when directions are given and copies what they are doing a lot. I remember doing that in school and it caused me a lot of issues with learning. I hope she doesn't have the same issues I did. I'm not sure if it's self-esteem or what. It's like she has to refer to her friends to make sure she is doing everything right. This also distracts her very easily. I think she's partly just very unsure of herself.

redchief replied: I write right handed, played hockey left handed, but try and bat leftie and I look like I'm going to fall all over myself. My brother writes right, throws left and bats right. She'll figurer it all out.