Need some advice on bumps and bruises

coasterqueen wrote: Okay, I'll try to explain this as clear as I can. Kylie has always gotten bumps and bruises and many times at the daycare, which is understandable. She's a toddler and she's a clumsy one.

Anyways in the last month or so I've noticed more than her usual bumps and bruises. Two weeks ago she came home with a black and blue nose and a cut on it because the sitter said she fell and hit the corner of a table. Okay whatever. Well today she came home with the side of her eye all swollen and a bit blue/black looking. There's even a purple looking line all the way up to her skull, looks like a nerve, but I haven't seen that nerve look like that before. The skin right underneath her eyebrow is a bit puffy too. The dcp said she tripped and fell into the other little girl's knee. Ok, this seems a bit weird.

I've also noticed pinch - type bruises on her and she has a bruise on her leg that looks like a line. Weird.

DH thinks I'm overreacting and that this is all normal. I guess I'm a bit concerned. Maybe I have no reason to be.

The dcp (Terri) is also watching her 6 year old neice. She's been going there for about 2 months or so now. This all seemed to start when the 6 year got out of school for the summer, before that she was only there an hour or so in the afternoon after school.

Anyways I did not meet this little girl til 2 weeks ago because Ryan always picks Kylie up. Ryan said she's a chubby girl but that's about all he commented. Well when I met this girl I was not impressed. I got there and Kylie immediately ran to her and yelled "Myranda", the girl's name. So I said "well hello Myranda, it's nice to finally meet you. Kylie talks about you all the time". She looked at me with this snotty look and said "how did you know my name" in a very snotty tone. I explained how Kylie just said her name. Then Terri, the dcp, started talking to me and the girls were playing. I looked over and Kylie was playing with the license plate of Terri's truck. All of a sudden I saw Myranda push Kylie and hard. Kylie came over whining to me. Terri did not see this. I would have said something but it was the first time I met the girl and didn't want to accuse her of any thing. I know I should have said something.

I have met this girl one of time and she's been a total little spoiled brat. DH doesn't see this about her. This girl's parents are getting a divorce and there is a huge custody battle over her, so I can see why she would be a snot and take everyone to get what she wants, kwim?

Anyways, am I being too paranoid? What would I even say to the dcp since it's her neice? Also one other thing makes me think this girl is tormenting Kylie and causing injuries to her is because one time Terri was talking and said Kylie did something because Myranda was tormenting her one day. Those were her exact words "tormenting her". I remember asking her about it but she would never say anything more about it,she just started talking about something else.

Any advice? I feel like I should say something but I just don't know how to go about doing it without accusing this child or offending anyone. I mean I could be way off base here and this could all be coincidence. It just breaks my heart to think Kylie is getting beat up on at daycare. It could be something as simple as Myranda gets annoyed because Kylie follows her everywhere, but that doesn't give her the right to hit *IF* she is. That's it, I don't know.

I thought about saying "Terri, I've been getting concerned about Kylie's bumps and bruises lately. Has Kylie just been extremely clumsy lately or are her and Myranda not getting along? It just seems Kylie is getting more bumps and bruises now more than ever?"

jem0622 replied: I would say 'I want to thank you for doing such a good job with Kylie, I can always count on you.' And then follow with the question about her clumsiness (sp?). Then follow by saying you are sure she'd tell you if there were any problems that you need to be concerned about. It's called sandwiching. That way you are recognizing what she is doing for you, but still addressing your concern.

HUGS

My boys are VERY clumsy. Gabe even more so b/c he prefers to take off running.

amynicole21 replied: Hmmm.. Sophia's always coming home with some bump or bruise that wasn't there in the morning, but what you are describing sounds a bit more extreme I think that what you are thinking about saying is perfect. Don't point an accusatory finger at Myranda, just ask whether the girls are getting along. Maybe ask Terri if she'll keep an eye on them when they are together, just to be sure that there aren't any issues between them. I wouldn't worry about offending her - after all, it's your child we're talking about here!

ediep replied: yea, I agree with the others. Ask if the girls are getting along...maybe say something like is it annoying for Myranda to have a toddler tag along? Good luck!!!!

mummy2girls replied: (((HUGS))) reading your posbrought back what i had to deal with at work when jenna was with me. Jenna was pinched, pushed, biten, kicked and stepped on by the little girl because of jealousy! Just address your concerns with out pointing fingers because that could lead into more problems. What the others said to you i agree with. I hope you get this all starightened out. BIG HUGS to Kylie!...

paradisemommy replied:
Karen, I think that sounds perfect! ITA with everyone else - do the sandwiching technique so that way she won't feel like you are totally accusing her or her niece but that you are just concerned.

On a sidenote, you said that Kylie is always talking about "Myranda" does she ever mention her name as far as how she got her "owies"? Have you tried asking her if it was from Myranda?

Gosh the thought of anyone's child getting pushed around at daycare just makes my heart sore..

aspenblue1 replied: ITA with everyone else. I would definately ask.

coasterqueen replied:
She talks about Myranda all the time. And I do ask her if Myranda hurts her, but she looks at me like she doesn't understand.

Kaitlin'smom replied: I would ask, like everyone said dont accuse just inquire, its your daughter you know? I mean sometimes I sooo wish kaitlin could tell me about her day and if she is happy with the sitter, I just always worry if she is okay, how much she eats, if she is happy there ect....

paradisemommy replied:
she is still pretty young but it was worth a shot. we have a neighbor who is just downright rude and mean to taven but he is always drawn to her for some reason and will go running over to try and play with her. drives me nuts but i don't ever turn my back on her..

kimberley replied: i agree and think what you plan to say is just fine. any GOOD dcp will not take offense to a parent inquiring about the safety of their child. let us know how it goes.

MommyToAshley replied: Ashley gets tons of bumps and bruises too, so many that I often wonder what people think. (I was embarassed to post those pictures of her in the outfits where she dressed herself because they showed all her bruises).

But, if Kylie is getting more than normal, I would definitely look into it further. A Mom's instincts are often right. Every time I get what some people call "God's whispers" and I don't listen to them, something happens and I wish I had. Sounds like you already have some good ideas on how to approach the dcp, and I don't think she will take offense. Let us know how it goes.