Need some advice for a friend

CantWait wrote: Hi there,

My friend has asked me some advice and honestly I don't know what to say to her.

Her son has missed a lot of school, has basically not been since December and now they are threatening truancy. She's made an appointment at a physchologist for him, but other then that she doesn't know what to do.

Any ideas?

TIA

Danalana replied: How old is he?
I thin it's a good idea for him to see somebody.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Why has he been missing school? because he is sick? depressed? How old is he?

sparkys2boys replied:
Ya, thats what I was wondering? Is he being bullied I wonder? Issues at home?

CantWait replied: I'm not sure. I've messaged her and asked her all that and more. I don't understand it, and I don't understand why she would wait so long to make it right. It's been over two months.

I personally don't see her as the most responsible, then again I only know her because we've been pen pals for about the last 10 years or so, never met IRL.

From what I can see, she's more interested in grabbing mens attention then anything. She's married, but they are on and off, and this and that. It's confusing for me.

sparkys2boys replied:
From all that, it sounds like it could be a number of things right from get go. Thats to bad, must be so hard on all of them.

Danalana replied: Well, I guess that answers the question about issues at home...

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Ick. Tough situation.

I think that if he isn't going to school, he should at least be getting an education somewhere...be it tutors or homeschooling.... not much she can do with the truancy issue short of proving he's getting alternative education, or sending him back to school...

lisar replied: No advice here I just wanna wish them luck and i hope they get it all fixed.

CantWait replied: Omgosh, here's the message I just received back from her....I changed the names

Mike is 10 and in grade 5.
We have driven him.,,picked him up and brought him there..the teacher has come here and forcefully brought him there...
now im told that if he doesnt go on monday a truant officer is going to be here monday and talk with him...but one of the things he will be told is that if he doesnt go..Bob and i will be charged and have to go to court.
He assures us he likes the teachers, he has no bullying problems..he just doesnt like to do the work. Yet while at home he will do the homework...
i dont know if its for attention or a power struggle...but im struggling big time and unable to cope..
Ive basically been crying for 3 days straight,,,hardly sleeping and taking my panic attack medication like tic tacs...
i try not to show how upset i am to the kids..and Bob blames my shutting down as a reason that Mike is doing this.... i feel like im backed into a corner an there is no way out...now they also want me to bring Mike to see a mental health specialist for children..which is a good thing..but deep down i do feel responsible....

Hillbilly Housewife replied: So...he's going to school but not attending? does he sit in the halls or something?

If the teachers and the schools KNOW that there is an effort on the parents' part to take the kid to school... well short of the parents physically staying at the school all day with him to make sure he stays there... i don't know what to tell ya.

Calimama replied: We had a parent when I was in HS who would walk her kid to class and sit with them for a week straight. He was soo embarrassed and so he would come to class. If he started skipping again she came again for a few days until she embarrassed him into remembering how much he hated it when she came.

grapfruit replied:
What a good idea. I'd do that.