Need advice - Kindergarten

ammommy wrote: I was speaking with Alec's preschool teacher when out of the blue she asked if we were going to have Alec tested for Kindergarten next year. This was a surprise because he does not make the cut-off so I assumed that he would have another year of preschool before going to K. It seems that we can have him tested for both academics and maturity if we want to try to get him in next year. She says that he is definately ready academically and is borderline with the maturity. My gut says to keep him back because he misses the cutoff by nearly 2 months and I don't think that he would really be ready for school, but I don't want him going into Kindergarten while working on a first grade level (if that makes sense). I have to speak to DH about this and will probably make an appointment to talk to the K teacher also, but what are your thoughts?

luvbug00 replied: My brother is a whole year older then i am and he went into kindergarden the same year as myself. I think if your gut tells you not to put him in then go with that. My step cousin is also Mys's age and he tested and went in and is having a great deal of difficulty keepingup on all aspects. His mom pushed him in and his dad wanted him to get another year in before going, Good luck!

jcc64 replied: So, Alec will turn five when? (I also have an Alec btw). All 3 of my kids are fall babies, and although we have a rather late cut-off here in NY (turning 5 by Dec 15), my kids are often the youngest in their respective classes. In the early years, the differences are much more noticable, particularly with boys. Like it not, most public school settings are by their nature not always little boy energy friendly. Temperment, intelligence, ability to sit still and follow instructions ALL DAY LONG, maturity, and physical size all play a factor. My Alec did very well b/c he's bright, obedient, and socially adept. Noah, a more active, energetic child, took a few months to "settle down" and learn the drill, but b/c he was also bright, it wasn't a terribly huge adjustment. Corey is only 3, but again, was the youngest in her preK class, and it showed in terms of her maturity and social confidence, although she's already catching up.
Not knowing your child, I can't say what you should do. Is it better to be a big fish in a little pond- the oldest, most accomplished kid in the group, or will he get bored quickly? Or is it better to be challenged- to be the youngest and have to strive and reach to catch up? Some kids thrive on that, others will become easily frustrated and withdraw. Are social concerns a factor- would your child's temperment be best served with older or younger kids? These are some questions you have to ask yourself, your preK teacher, and maybe even the kindergarten teachers at the screening. Let them know you're on the fence- and get a truly objective opinion. They will not let him in if they don't think he's ready.
Try to keep in mind that although it's important, you'll come to realize over the years that your child will undoubtedly adjust to whatever situation you put him in. I know you want to make the "right" decision, but don't torture yourself with the mistaken notion that making the "wrong" decision now will scar his academic future irrevocably. He'll probably be fine either way.
Good luck with Alec. (what's his middle name, btw?)

jacobsmama replied: I think you should do what your gut says but I would also talk to DH and the K teacher.

ammommy replied: He turns 5 at the end of October. The cutoff date for this school is Sept 1 (public schools have a cutoff of June 1, I think) Socially, I just don't think that he is ready, but a year from now, who knows. I do know that he is a totally different child at school than he is at home, which is why I want to talk to his teacher formally.
Jeanne, you don't see many Alec's around do you? I'll pm his middle name since I don't like to put too much personal info out on the www.

jcc64 replied: Wow, that's a pretty early cut-off date. His b-day puts him right at the same age as my middle ds- Noah.
As I said before, I'm sure he'll be fine either way, and over the next year, the right answer will become clearer to you.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Lisa good luck with whatever you decide. Maddie went to pre-school with a little girl who turned 5 on Sept 12. Our cut off date is also Sept 1 and they make no exceptions (or her mother would have been up there begging for them to take her early...I guarantee it) Not suggesting it is the same in yours or Alec's case, but this little girl was no more mature or ready for kindergarten than Maddie and Maddie has a June b-day. I never thought of her as being the oldest in the class.

I think it is very wise to go ahead and talk to the k teachers in a more formal approach and have him tested. That will tell you a lot of what you need to know right there. I think that option should be available to all students who 'just miss' the cut off date. That way they wouldn't be letting just any Dick or Jane in kindergarten.

N-E-Way...let us know what you find out. I'm curious.

My3LilMonkeys replied: i say talk with the K teacher, get an idea of what it would be like...then go with your gut feeling.

MommyToAshley replied: I agree.. I'd say talk to the pre-k teacher. My daughter is the youngest in her preschool class and will be one of the youngest in her kinder class. Her birthday is a few days before the cut-off. While I don't worry about her going to kinder ... either socially or academically, but I am more concerned about her being thrown into social situations when she gets to the teen/preteen years. Her friends will all be a year older and that can make a difference... they already grow up so fast now.

MamaJAM replied:
You know him best -- if you aren't sure he's socially ready - then it's probably best to wait. Talk it over with your DH and the teachers -- but don't rush into anything. Good Luck!

jem0622 replied: Gabe is in a similar situation. I plan to wait until he's eligible. My father started earlier due to the cutoffs way back and truly suffered until middle school.

toady_buckshot_noodle replied: Personally, i would go with the cut off. It is easy to get caught up in letting out children's advanced abilities run things. But sometimes it is best to just let them grow up slowly. My son missed the cut off by a couple of months too and that extra year at home made a great deal of difference as far as maturity goes. As a matter of fact, my son's K5 teacher this year held her son back for a 2nd year of k5 so he could gain in maturity. He is doing great!!Another example is the principal at the school, she has twins that should be in the first grade by birth date but she petitioned the state to hold them back a year because they were born premature and needed an extra maturity boost. It has made all the difference.

sorry to be so long, just my opinion.

good luck with whatever you decide!!

ammommy replied: Thanks for all of the opinions. I have a meeting set up for next week, but I'll probably cancel it. My gut says to wait. I wish that I had longer to make a decision, but registration starts January 6th! I really think that social readiness is more important than academic readiness and he's just not there socially, unless he's a completely different kid at school

USMCwife replied: My daughter is in Kindergarten and her maturity level is just not there yet and she turned 5 in March, but she is still one of the youngest in her class, all but 3 of the kids are already 6.
I have talked w/ her teacher several times and she says that most kids it seems like after Christmas a light bulb comes on and they start doing much better, I hope this is the case w/ Eden. If not then she will hold her back and she will be in kindergarten next year.

msoulz replied: My son also has a late October birthday. When he was 4 he started Kindergarten. The preschool teacher told us her program would no longer challenge him academically (sp?) but that he was young. We did not know what to do so we put him in. We told the K teacher right on the first day about our concerns and that we have no trouble holding him back at the end of the year if necessary, and she said she was glad to hear that because most parents are dead set against repeating a grade. At the end of the year she said the same thing, that he was average in the academics but would likely have issues if he were promoted because of his lack of maturity (ability to sit still, etc.) He did repeat Kindergarten and is now doing very well in first grade, both in the academics and the social categories. In fact, he won an award for confidence last year and this year he says he is "famous" in his class (I think popular is a more appropriate choice, but famous is very cute). So it did help his self esteem a lot. and he hasn't had any issues with other kids teasing or anything.

But that was our choice. Our school district cuts off at Dec. 1. I have been told that will change to Sept. 1 before my little one gets to school, so she may be one of the oldest in her class too.

Oh, and our district doesn't test for kindergarten. And the second year he went through K they started a program for just such kids, the "early fives" or something like that. Just a year too late for us!

Good luck with your decision, I know it is difficult!

LovinMyGirls replied: Go with your gut feeling. I'm a K-6 teacher and even later on you can see the difference in children who have late birthdays and just barely make the cutoffs when it comes to the maturity level..I'm not saying all late birthday's aren't ready..but if you feel unsure I'd wait.

b&bsmom replied: Our public school cut off is Aug 15th. My dd bday is Jun 24th. She tended to be on the shy side so we decided to keep her out and she went this year ( she is now 6). Academicaly (sp) she was already on a kindergarten level. We decided that we rather her stay out and have another year with friends she already knew and with a pre k teacher I loved then to send her to kindergarten to make all new friends and have a bad experience and not like school. I am glad we did. This year in kindergarten she loves school and has not missed a day yet. She is ahead in the class and reading at an almost first grade level. However, it has really built her confidence and she participates more in groups and class then she would have if I had sent her last year. It also gives her more confidence being a little older she knows more then some of the others. Go with your gut. You know what is best for your child and it is best to go with what you feel is right. Good luck and let us know what you decide.

ktroth replied: My advice is wait an extra year. I was the youngest in my class--4 when I starded k-garten, 17 when I graduated high school, 21 when I graduated college. I was always the youngest and it sucked. Not only that, but when math came easy for all the other kids, I struggled big time. At age four, it seemed like I was ready. But it caught up with me later. Now I have two August children, age 4 and 7. With the 7 year old, we waited until he had just turned six to put him in k-garten, instead when he had just turned five. It was such a good decision for him. And with our daughter, we will do the same. She is totally ready for k-garten, but I don't want what happened to me to happen to her. Plus, we have an excellent pre-school in our town that has a class specifically designed for 5/6 year olds that aren't going to k-garten yet.

I have never heard anyone say they regret waiting a year. I have heard plenty of people say they regret not waiting a year. It's better to wait and have your son be above average in everything than to not wait and have him struggle, or worse yet, be kept back a year when he gets older.

Kaitlin'smom replied: wow this is all interesting. If Kait go to a reg school K she will be nearly 6 by the time she starts, few months short. she is a very late dec baby so I have to wait till 08 if she goes to a public system. Her pre-school has a K program and she might go to. I have not made any desisions yet as she still has at least another year of pre-school.