Need advice...

mummy2girls wrote: My SIL( marcus's sister) had to return bak to work because her husband got laid of and he got another job but at half the salary he was getting at the other place... DANG ECONOMY...anyways she is a waitress at the Olive garden. So at about 415pm every m,w,f, she drops her girls off with me and then her hubby picks them up at 6. She wanted to pay me because im taking the girls as day home kids. BUT i told her not to worry about it. because its only an hour or so and she just deducts 20 bucks a day off of what marcus owes her from the monthly payments i pay her.

Anyways here is my dilemma... I am closing my day home down from June5th till july 7th because of the baby. and she asked if I am still able to take the girls for that time when im off. I told her yes BUT that the first few days after i return from the hospital after i have the baby i wont be able too because depending on the labor and if i have a c-section or whatever I may be to sore and exhausted to take them.(you never know emergencies happen) She says well all you have to do is sit there... I said well ill be sore and cant do much especially if i have a c-sect . and she said well i had one and its not that bad you can still take the kids. Im thinking ok i just had a baby by however, im tired and exhausted because like we all know we cant sleep or rest at a hospital. and ill have jenna as well so its will be an adjustment and i want to settle in before taking anymore kids. She still doesn't get it. So i became firm and said no not until a few days after i have the baby... but again she is head strong , stubborn woman that wont take no for an answer... im afraid as well she will try to drop the girls off earlier than 400pm to get that extra shift. this is my month to myself and the baby. jenna will be school full days so i want to get the breast feeding down, i want to be able to get on some kind of schedule or try to before i reopen the dayhome, i want to be able to just get up and go for a drive to visit marcus at work, or my parents etc etc etc. Aside from that she expects me to take the girls on all stat holidays if it lands on a day she works. Which i refuse because stat is my day off. I barely get time off so i need those stats. I know I could be acting selfish because when you look at it its only 1 hour to 2, 3 days a week so who cares if it lands on a stat. but when you barely get time off and you work 12 hours a day or more you want those stat days as selfish as that may sound...

so how would you go about to talk to a stubborn heard headed strong willed person about these concerns especially the expecvting me to take the girls just a couple days after i have the baby?

cameragirl21 replied: Personally, if it were me, I'd ask Marcus to talk to her because she is his sister and have him explain to her that you're sorry but you just can't do it, period.
Don't be afraid to say no, if you flounder around and start explaining why you can't, etc, people will start to try to talk you into it.
Just say no. She'll get over it

mckayleesmom replied: I think you are being generous taking them so soon after having a baby, so I would definantly tell her that she needs to find a sitter for the first couple days...heck..I would tell her to find a sitter for the first week. You are going to be an exhausted new mom..she needs a reality check.

Can't her parents watch them for that week or they could hire a teenager to stop by.

stella6979 replied: No means no, simple as that. If she shows up at your house, just don't answer the door.

Calimama replied: Um I would tell her NO you are not watching them until you say it's okay. And that's the end of the discussion.

And then lock your door after you get home from the hospital. Good luck. She sounds difficult.

mummy2girls replied:
Thats what i mean... I told her for a few days so at least a week...

mummy2girls replied:
her mom and step dad work. but yes she could get her mom to do it as she gets off work at 3pm

mckayleesmom replied: Do you guys have PLAYDATES there? It is a drop off daycare fun center? We have one here that I use and the kids LOVE it. Maybe you can reccomend one of those to her...I'm not sure how many kids she has, but we use it every once in a while and its 9 dollars an hour for both my kids and worth every penny. Plus they will be super tired come bedtime for daddy.

It might be called something else in your area, but I would just ask around to see if there are any drop off daycares in the area.

mummy2girls replied:
oh they probably do have drop in daycares... BUT with my SIL you see she doesnt trust many people with her kids( 1yrs old, 3 yrs old). she wont even look into other dayhomes for drop in care because of that reason.

msoulz replied: ITA with Jennifer. Marcus needs to handle her.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I understand the trust issue, but she's going to have to accept it, get over it, and find someone else when you can't take them. It's reality, and she needs a big dose of it. Don't let her walk all over you. Be strong and more stubborn than she is. DO NOT treat her any differently than you would any other client. Business is business.

jakesmommy08 replied: I agree tell her no! I understand, my mom has done daycare in her home since before i was born and some people just dont understand! You work long hours as it is, not to mention, YOUR TAKING TIME OFF TO HAVE A BABY! its not like your taking a cruise or something! Geez! Plus she has kids so she should know how exhausted you will be! Flat out tell her no or have hubby tell her. Shes just going to have to respect your decision and find someone else for a few days! Good luck!

luvbug00 replied: ITA it's marcus sister HE needs to handle it. She needs to get over her daycare phobios, with this econmy we all will be at work all the time.

coasterqueen replied:
I agree, and quite frankly she should know being a mom herself. She should understand you want time with your new baby, with your new family so everyone can get used to things. I can't believe she forgets that those 1st days are special to the family. I'd say no and stick to it - Marcus needs to tell her that.

Calimama replied:
Love it!

Boo&BugsMom replied:


I have no problem putting people in their place...can you tell? I can't stand it when people are selfish like this.

Shelly, your (immediate) family is first in your book...not hers!

ETA: I should also add...I was still doing daycare when Aiden was born. I took off 12 weeks, and not a single parent complained. Parents should respect your rights, and she is not. Tell her to put her big girl panties on and find someone when you can't be available, and if she doesn't like it, tell her "don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya"!