Need Positive Thoughts!

Maddie&EthansMom wrote: I am so irritated at DH. I really need him here to help me. My mom was going to come in this evening, but she won't be here until tomorrow. I am feeling so lonely and I am stuck here. I don't want to get Ethan out and I need to go to the store. Besides I'm really not supposed to drive for another week. I have no one here to help. I am just feeling kind of overwhelmed. I am able to keep up the house work and that is the only thing keeping me sane at this point. If the house were messy I would lose my mind. DH just doesn't get it. He acts like he doesn't care at all about my feelings and he makes NO effort to be here or to come home early. In a way I don't even want him here b/c I know his main concern is work. He doesn't sit at work and wonder how things are going at home.

All I can do is cry right now. I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Sorry to rant!

A&A'smommy replied: Awww sweetie! (((BIG HUGS))) I know how you feel! I wish I could come and help you out while you wait on your mother! Did you try to tell your DH how you feel? I know men dot always understand or listen when you do tell them! I hope your mom gets there soon so you will have some help and feel some normalcy. ((((BIG HUGS)))

coasterqueen replied: Awww Aimee I wish I lived close to you, I'd come over and help out. DH's just don't get it some times Have you told him how you feel? Maybe he doesn't know that you are overwhelmed and need help. Course he should know

Hang in there. Your mom will be there soon

MomToJade&Jordan replied: I'm sorry Aimee I wish I lived close to you so I could give you some help. I wonder if you should tell DH how you are feeling. Of course you are going to feel this way. You have the hormone changes and the lack of sleep. Hopefully things will get better when your Mom gets there. Take it easy, you just had a baby.

beckamouse replied: I can't avoid saying what everyone else has already said. Talk to DH. Tell him how you are feeling and that you need his help. Hopefully he will understand.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Awwww Aimee, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way! I agree with everyone else you need to sit down with your DH and tell him how you feel. Men are kinda stupid that way, they think us women can handle everything just fine! I know how overwhelming things are right now, you want to do everything, but you can't! Maybe you should call your DH at work right now and ask him to come home early.

mummy2girls replied: First of all I just wanted to let u know that I LOVE YOUR SIG! It is absolutely adorable!

Oh Dear((((HUGS))) I just wanted to agree with everyone in talking to your hubby. Im not married to jennas daddy as you already know but he was the exact same way and still is to a certain point..he is getting better.

CantWait replied: Big hugs to you. I don't know what to say, but I hope you're feeling better soon. Have you tried talking to dh at all?

paradisemommy replied: just big hugs from me... i can imagine how you feel - ita with the other's though - sometimes guys are really not thoughtful but they really need things spelled out for them, i know my dh is that way. i'm still waiting for the day he tells me, he can watch taven and i can go out (shopping/relax/whatever) and taven is already 19 months..but whenever i need him to, all i have to do is ask and he is more than happy to help out..guys are weird that way.

amynicole21 replied: Oh Sweetie! Of course you are feeling overwhelmed! Your dh really must have no clue what is required to care for a newborn, a toddler and a home only a few days after giving birth. Please tell him how you are feeling! I am sure he wouldn't want to cause you this kind of pressure

mommy2mylittleangels replied: oh i am so sorry, i know how you feel i have a 3yr old and had my second in nov. its the hardest thing i have ever delt with in my whole life, my husband is the same way dosen't understand why i have such a hard time and thinks that it is an easy job, boy does he think wrong!the best advice i can give you is talk to him let him know how you feel. if i lived closer to you i would help you! take it easy sweetie and best wishes

DansMom replied: Do you think that some of what you're feeling might be baby blues? I got them starting on day four after the birth, and it involved feelings of loneliness and isolation. But when people were around hovering and helping that felt claustrophobic. I think you should tell DH how you're feeling, and also ask how he is feeling. I bet he does think of you during the day at work, even if he doesn't call. In other posts you've described him as caring and helpful---this might just be a bad patch for both of you. It's stressful as well as joyful to have a new baby in the house. And you have an older child---I would feel overwhelmed also, especially at first. I'll be sending positive thoughts your way!

MomToMany replied: Lots of hugs to you, Aimee!! Maybe he wants to help, but doesn't know how, so he just doesn't try. DH's can be like that. You might have to be very specific about what you want him to do (something I've learned ). And don't hesitate to tell him how you feel; it will get worse if you keep it inside.

Sorry I can't be more help to you. I'd come over and help you if I could !



P.S. I LOVE your siggy!! They are both ADORABLE !!!

Kaitlin'smom replied: Awww I am sorry I missed this post, I hope things are better. Sometimes DH's are so clueless....(((BIG HUGS)))

Julie (jem0622) replied: You really need to sit down with DH and talk with him. Without the kiddos around. When #2 comes along you need to be a team more than ever. And he needs to understand this. I was awful about asking my DH to do things and such when it was just Nathan. Tried to be superwife and supermom. And it wore me out. With Gabe I just said 'I need for you to do x' or 'It would really help me if ...'

Do you have grocery stores in your area that deliver? We have Giant Food in the Wash DC area and they have a service called Peapod. You order online and they deliver. It could save your sanity.

I went grocery shopping when the kids were asleep or would drop Gabe in the Baby Bjorn and put Nathan in the cart and organize my list in a very anal fashion. LOL. Went very fast and then would nurse Gabe in the car before heading out.

If DH is going to get home late, then make running errands his responsibility. He's going to have to be thrown into this and keeping your needs and such in mind. It's an adjustment for all of you.

HUGS
Julie

kimberley replied: big ((((hugs))))). i am sorry you are having a rough time. hopefully you can talk to DH and he can help you out.

aspenblue1 replied: I am sorry you are going through this. I would definately try talking to your DH.

Jamison'smama replied: Big big hugs to you--I agree about this sig and avatar---wow, you have beautiful children. I agree with the above posts, I want to send support. You know, men are funny sometimes, my DH throws himself into work when he is feeling stressed. He says it is something he knows and knows he's good at. Being a dad was hard on him at first--can't imagine what he'll be like with two. It was so unfamiliar to him and work was an escape--not that it's okay of course but I was at least able to understand a little more. He craves completion of tasks --at home, nothing is ever completed--parenting, housework, etc. At work there are tasks to do and you do them---straight forward. Not sure at all if your DH is at all like this but no matter, he still needs to help out. Just hang in there--help is coming.~~~Hurry up mom!!~~~~

I'll be in Denison in April (You're in McKinney right) If you still need help then, I be right over

MommyToAshley replied: (((HUGS)))
Sorry I am so late, but sending tons of Positive Thoughts! I agree with everyone's comments so I don't have much to add. Just lots of hugs, support, and to let you know we are here for you!