Names

Danalana wrote: Okay, I have been really stressed about Kade's name. In the beginning, we made the mistake of mentioning that we might name him Ira Kade (Ira being FIL's and DH's first name). Well, his mother was overjoyed...his father never seems to have any kind of excitement about him. Well, we changed it because we wanted his first name to be what we were going to call him...so we had to find something that would go with Kade. We settled on Alexander, and we both like it. Well, MIL flipped. But in a sly way. She called me, acting as though she had no idea we had changed it, and that it has been changed for over 3 months. She started telling me that when I said we might name him Ira Kade, I sounded like an angel, blah blah blah. And then she told me she had written him a letter, but didn't tell me because she was afraid it would make me mad. That didn't make sense, so I knew what she was doing. She said the letter was about his name (who DOES that?), so I told her (as if she didn't know) that we had changed it. She acted devastated and then proceeded to make it sound like the name we picked out wasn't a good one. She told me it was very important for a man to have his son named after him. I think that's great for everybody who chooses to do that, but why is it that way? Why don't we also name girls after us? If we had a girl, her name was going to be Audrey Clare...my name is Dana Lee...AND she would have gotten HIS last name. None of our kids are getting any part of my name, and that's fine with me. They'll still be our kids and I think they will benefit much more from being loved and treasured than from sharing a name with one of us. Basically, I was angry at this point. I finally said, "Why can't we just name our own baby?" She finally relented and said it was no big idea, but I still feel like it is. The thing is, I'm not fond of his father at all. Heck, I love my father's middle name (Lane), but I'm not using it because we're not close in any way. Why would I want a name that reminds me of that? Seriously, I am so stressed and feel like we are doing something wrong...it's just not right to make us feel that way. Heck, she let SOMEBODY ELSE name Richard's brother, and they picked Randall Tyrone! He is still teased about his name to this day (mostly from friends poking fun, but I think he had a hard time with it in school).
I just don't know what to do. I think Ira Kade sounds good together, but I don't want to do it out of obligation. Plus, there's the whole not-liking-the-FIL thing and wanting Kade to be his first name.
I see now why some people don't announce the name until after the baby is born!

mckayleesmom replied: I know its totally your choice, but I could see them getting excited about the name and a little upset when you changed it.....Although I don't know why they are suprised since most people change the name a billion times before then.

Have you thought about Kade Ira Alexander?

Maybe a compromise???

sparkys2boys replied: I think that you guys do what makes you happy. You can't listen to everyone else all the time, and she should be happy no matter what you call the baby... geesh some people

grandma replied: Dana - I LOVE the name you've picked, Kade. I'd never really heard it before I came on here, then two weeks ago there was a Kade at my sil's party. I don't care what you pick for the middle name, but I wouldn't let the mil make that decision for you. Once you start bowing to her demands, you might get stuck in a funk. God, mil's have such a bad rep already, I hate when they pull this kinda crap. Makes it really hard on us good mil's -

luvmykids replied: I know it's stressful....we went through this when I wanted to name Kylie - I wanted to name her Lilly Christine after both my grandmas and it started this huge ordeal over NOT using one of DH's grandmas names I caved and regret it to this day....so ignore them, as hard as it is, and name him what YOU love. My FIL always said "We had our turn, we named our own kids, now you name yours" That was really nice to hear but it's also very true

grapfruit replied: Ok, me? I'd say screw it and name YOUR baby what YOU want. Who CARES what everyone else thinks? But that's me. Dana you should not have to stress out about what to name your little boy. Shame on her for putting you through that stress.

Don't worry about what she (or anybody!) thinks. Name him what makes YOU happy and to heck w/everyone else! And smile everytime you say his name or think about it.

tammyhopkins replied: Personally i think it is not fair to the rest of your kids because they will not have that name. I decided with our kids that they would have their own names and noone was going to tell me any different. You are the one that has to call him that forever and really the MIL shoudl have no say in this.

I wouldn't worry about it to much when Kade somed she will realize that the name is nothign compared to her beautiful grandson.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: He is your baby! You can name him whatever you wish. I love the name Kade. Alexander is such a strong name! Ira reminds me of the cousin on that old sitcom with Helen Hunt To some people it is important to have a son named after them but it is not a requirement...If it was, wouldn't eventually, there only be 3-4 names in the world?

BAC'sMom replied: If you love it that much stick to your guns because you might regret it later.



BTW I love the name Kade. It is one of our family names and I used it as my oldest son’s middle name (Caden) way before it got so popular. Our family came straight out of Cades, SC.

Danalana replied: I know what you're saying. But I just wonder why it's culturally expected to name a son after the father. What about MAMA??? Isn't the last name good enough? I'm trying not to stress over it

Danalana replied:
I had a guy friend in college named Cade (JUST a friend), and I always loved it. I haven't talked to him in years, but I just love that name. Simple...almost impossible to mispronounce I swear, I have been called "Donna" a number of times But we are going with a "K" so that his initials aren't CAB

BAC'sMom replied:
I understand about names being mispronounced, it drives me crazy! My kids get called all kinda of stuff but they have gotten pretty good about correcting people when they say their names wrong.

I think the last name is enough not sure why it's culturally expected.

Atleast you are not naming him Sue.

lisar replied: He is your son you name him what YOU want.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
But it's such a nice song!

It's YOUR baby. They had their turn.

Danalana replied: Mmmmmmm....Kadey Sue?

Hillbilly Housewife replied:

Kade Irasander. lol

A&A'smommy replied: Definitely stick to the name that you like, its not right for her to say anything to you about his name its NOT her baby

Danalana replied:
I can always count on you for the voice of reason!

Calimama replied: Yep you name him what you want. I can understand how she's a little disappointed. But she should realize it's YOUR child.

lovemy2 replied: Your baby, you name him - your entitled to change your mind

HuskerMom replied: Name him what you two want. His parents had their chance to name their kids, now it's your turn.

My2Beauties replied: Name your baby want you want. My best friend's father's name is Ira and he is an impossible man to get along with, for that reason alone I don't like the name Ira, but to me, Ira sounds like a girl's name, sorry

3xsthefun replied: He is your baby. You can name him whatever you want to.

MoonMama replied:
I couldn't agree more.


BTW, I have 2 middle names. So do all of my brothers and sisters.