Nabbing our sitter - need opinions

mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: I need opinions here because DH and I do not agree on this one. Last night DH and I had a date, so we had our sitter come watch the kids. She is a single mom and used to work with DH. When she arrived, she said she just ran into a guy that used to work with her and DH (so my DH knows him) and he asked if he could drop off his 8 month old daughter at OUR house so that our sitter could watch her TOO! Totally put on the spot, but at first I really didn't think anything of it - being the nice people we are, both DH and I said "yeah why not". But while we were driving to the movie, I was like OMG, what am I thinking! What if something happens to her at our house? We're not insured for that! I know it's silly to be paranoid, but we live in a world these days where people will sue for just about anything! I don't know her pediatrician...I have NEVER even met her parents! And then I was also thinking, well what if they pick her up before we come home (which was most likely to happen) and NOT pay our sitter - that's not fair! I was starting to get really worked up over it. I know that's petty of me, but at the same time, we don't know this guy...Yeah, he worked (past tense) with DH, but in a totally different department. I was really shocked that the parents felt comfortable dropping their daughter off at a home they have never seen. It all was sorta strange to me.

So I was in a panic and called our sitter to change my answer...But luckily they cancelled and never dropped her off. Phew. But it made me think...What would you do in this situation?

Am I just being paranoid? DH thinks it's no big deal and kept saying "relax Rae, he is a nice guy". But nice to me does NOT mean he won't sue. DH thinks I'm a bit nuts.

amymom replied: Rae, I am exactly as you are and would have thought all the same things. And Lee would have been just like your DH and said exactly the same thing... "Relax Anne Marie it will be fine. " I have come to learn that more times than not my DH is right. And relaxing is so much easier.... Hard for me to do... but easier in the long run.

In other words Rae, I am as torn as you are and I try to relax and not worry as much anymore. Good Luck.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I'd have to say, I would have said no immediately. And Aaron, being an attorney, would have said the same thing. You're right, nice doesn't necessarily mean they wouldn't sue. I'm sure the lady who sued McDonalds because her coffee was hot was a nice person. That stinks that you got put on the spot, but if the same situation comes up again, simply say to yourself, "I hired her first and my children deserve her undivided attention." You are not responsible for other people's lack of planning.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
Good advice Anne Marie, because sometimes it isn't worth getting worked up over. I actually love that about my DH. He is the optimist in the family. I'm really trying to be more like that these days...But I am really torn on this one too.

Kelly, yeah, I totally agree with you about the undivided attention thing. I was thinking that too...What happens if she pays more attention to the 8 month old and something happens to Wesley or Wil? And although I like to help people out, it sorta ticked me off that they did it so last minute. Andrea, our sitter is SUCH an amazing person, so sweet, so I thought it was a bit rude to put her on the spot. That's why I called her and actually asked her if SHE really wanted to do it, and that's when she said they cancelled.

redchief replied: I think I would have felt the same as you did. If you have homeowners' insurance you are insured for that, though your insurance company would not be happy. Most liability coverage will cover anything that might happen to a child that is in your home, even if you're not there at the time. They wouldn't be happy about you running a babysitting service out of it, though and would likely try to prove that was what you were doing in order to void the policy. There would be no evidence of that in the long run and they'd have to pay. Of course you'd be shopping for a new insurance company afterward.

I think if it were me, I'd have "had a problem" on the date (the restaurant lost our reservations, the movie was full or not playing where we wanted to go, the car was acting up and we didn't want to take the chance on not being able to get home late at night, etc.), thanked her for the night and paid her fully.

I would have made certain in the future that any sitter was watching our children only, stating if the question came up that we are paying for our sitter's full attention and think that it's appropriate to require full attention.

boyohboyohboy replied: I wouldnt have liked it either, what if you got home from your evening out and the man hadnt come to pick up his child yet? that would have been weird, and since you both didnt really know him, I would have felt uncomfortable with this "strange" man coming to the house, knowing that my kids were alone with a sitter....
and three really young kids.
I am surprised that a sitter would agree to babysit someone elses kids at your house with out asking first.

Crystalina replied: I would have said no right away as well. If it were my home and someone were dropping off a kid and have never seen my home or know me that well I would not feel comfortable and would say that there needs to be a meet-up or something before I would allow that child to stay in my house with (or without) me being there. If the parents don't care I surely would. I would insist before they did that again they get to know me and my house better for everyone's peace of mind.

I'm glad they canceled.

A&A'smommy replied: uh uh I'm the same as you.. its crazy that they even wanted to do that in the first place!!!!! You just don't pop up to someone you barely know and ask if their sitter can watch their child too!!! anyway I'm glad it worked out okay for you!!!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:

Do you mean give up my once every six month chance to go out on a date with DH...adult conversation, wine, quiet dinner, no kids? NO way Ed! Yeah, I could have told DH to turn the car around and go home, but I was not going to let these people ruin my night! (I'm being sarcastic you know...LOL). Yeah I hear ya, (sigh) safety first....

redchief replied:

Cece00 replied: No way would I do that UNLESS

a) it was a GOOD friend of mine
the friend called ME to ask if I was OK with that

But for someone I dont really know- no way.

luvmykids replied: Nope, no way. I would have said that I just wasn't comfortable and if anyone didn't like the answer, too bad.

I hire a babysitter to watch MY kids, period.

ediep replied:
same here
I agree

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Yep!

I would have said no too, but not really because of the liability. It would be no because I don't want any more kids in my house while we would be away, period. Esp. if I do not know the child or the parent. It would give me the creeps, plain and simple. It's also just more kids to take attention away from MY kids, and the sitter is there is give attention to mine, not other peoples. If it were at her house, then fine, but not my own.

Calimama replied:
Exactly! Well put.

Brias3 replied: I feel the same way you do, Rae. I also don't think it would be out of line to tell your sitter next time you speak that originally, you were put on the spot regarding this possible drop-off, but the more you think of it, in the future you would not be comfortable with it happening. That might prevent you from having to face the problem again.

Stick to your guns. I completely agree with you on this one!