My turn to vent... - Can't believe he said that....

alice&arik wrote: This afternoon I made one of these cute doll/girl things and had me and my SO, and Arik on it and emailed it to my boyfriend just as something cute to do, I wrote something sweet on it too. Well he checks his email and comes out and gives me a kiss. THEN he says" That girl looks like you with the big boobs" I just laughed and thought ha ha. Well THEN he says " The only way you would compare to that girl is if you lost some weight on your diet" I said yeah well that guy doesn't look like you either. So he left the room and I was mad of course. And he comes back and says" Why are you so crabby?" I repeated what he said in a smartypants way and he said "NO NO NO, I didn't say that...I said you look just like her. And you would look exactly like her when you lose that weight." I just thought, man he is digging a hole for himself. I mean come on, he could have just said thanks for the cute pic or something like that. But why does he even say stuff like that? Are guys just stupid? well apparently he is!

Elle replied: Oh, sometimes guys are just like little kids... They don't know when a comment is inappropriate! They're not so sure on where the line is... So I suggest you shouldn't pay much attention to that, just tell him the comment was a bit harsh and give him the chance to apologize.

A&A'smommy replied: NO it is not just him! Guys just really don't know women! Seriously they DON'T. Most men not all men are that way. They learn though it just takes time lol. He doesn't mean it, trust me BTDT they do learn. ((((BIG HUGS)))) cause I know it hurts!

kimberley replied: guys really are just stupid sometimes. things exit their mouth that have yet to make contact with their brain!! DH read as far as the first dumb comment and said "oh boy, i don't want to read the rest" lol! for him it is kinda like watching a guy get kicked you know where!

(((hugs))) sweetie! you are beautiful, he is dumb. let him make it up to you all weekend

beckamouse replied: boys make no sense..... they really don't. they make my head hurt...even my own DH said something the other day that got an empty waterbottle thrown at him
i have always been underweight and the weight i'm gaining right now i'm enjoying. Matt the other day looked at my slightly larger thighs and sent "Are those going to go back to normal?" I looked at him and said "I hope not. I don't like looking like i have an eating disorder." His foot-in-mouth comment was


"But it makes you look funny. Not good funny, but...sorta bad funny." I glared at him for all of three seconds before i reached for the water bottle. he was halfway out the bedroom door but i still got him good in the back of the head.

he thought about what he said and apologized. now he keeps all throwable objects out of my reach

MommyToAshley replied:
Most men don't even realize what they say and how it sounds. It must be some kind of special male gene that they get. But, that doesn't excuse him!

I am sorry he ruined everything for you... I think it was a creative and thoughtful getsture on your part. I have to agree with Kimberley, let him apologize to you in a BIG way.

alice&arik replied: thanks guys. He tried to apologize. But it still hurt. He knows he is in the dog house. So I don't have to worry about it.

MomToMany replied: Sorry he was a jerk to you, Alice! They never know what they are saying most of the time. It looks GREAT, Alice !!!

Boys r us replied: OMG!!!!!! Men..I swear they are just idiots..all of them!
I'm sorry honey!

amynicole21 replied: UGH! Tell him from now on he needs to think before he speaks

kit_kats_mom replied: LOL. Guys are so funny. Mine is usually very thoughtful but he does sometimes suffer from too much honesty. I'm used to it though. I figure, If I don't want the truth, don't ask. No point in playing games with my love.

However, he got me the other day. He said that he is counting on me to tell him when to shave his head because of his bald spot. He said he really doesnt' want to have "Trump" hair. I told him I'd be happy to do that as soon as he tells me that I need Liposuction because my butt's too big.

We both agreed to make our own decisions.

Kaitlin'smom replied: awww soorry he said that they can tend not to realise things like that hurt us, and probably more than they should.

coasterqueen replied: ((HUGS)) Alice. Men just don't think some times. My Dh does the same things sometimes too. Must be how they are wired.

P.S. Not ALL men are like this.

jem0622 replied: OMG! Doink with the frying pan! Guys do say things without thinking. I must say. My DH is very mindful of his mouth after some past misunderstandings. LOL.

alice&arik replied: Thanks everyone! I know he can't be the only one to say stupid things. I know he was being honest. But when it comes to stuff like that, he should just not say anything. It would save a lot of time. Maybe someday he will figure out the concept of compliments and not insults. but I feel better now, thanks again.

kit_kats_mom replied: One more question. Is your DH a sagitarrius? I don't usually go for the astrology thing but the fact is that all of my Sag friends speak without thinking. They tend to be a bit too honest and end up hurting peoples feelings unknowingly. Backwards compliments are their forte.

Just curious.

Kaitlin'smom replied:
hay now watch it I am a sag....but then I am not the typical sag

alice&arik replied:
No he is a Cancer? I think? well his b-day is july 17th. I think I am just blaming it on his stupidity. Can't make up excuses for him!!

Boys r us replied: Cary, I agree..my DH is a sagitarius and is EXACTLY as you've described!

kit_kats_mom replied:
LOL No offense meant. Most of my friends are Sag's. I find them refreshing and amusing. I love the honesty! They also happen to be some of the funniest people I know. Interestingly enough, they all have a rather cynical, somewhat dry, sense of humor that just kills me. It's the people who don't know them well that end up getting hurt by their comments. I don't think that any of my pals ever intend to hurt anyone's feelings....their statements just come out all wrong.

kimberley replied:
haha then it is a cancer thing!! my DH is a cancer... there may be a connection here lol

CantWait replied: Shame on him. Sometimes men just don't think

3xsthefun replied: Err..He needs to be knocked upside the head

Men can be such idiots!

MomToJade&Jordan replied:
LOL!!!!! Actually my DH is a Sag and he suffers from that too honest thing. I was going to say that sometimes they think they are making a compliment, or a backward compliment as Cary mentioned. They don't seem to understand the female brain apparently. We just dont want to hear that we would look like someone after we lose weight. To them it's a compliment to you it's an insult. I know for a fact that Cancer's like to speak their mind as well. He just needs to make it up to you in a big way. Don't tell him how, make him figure it out.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: OH that is just nasty! I hope you gave him a smack up side the head!

*Heather* replied: Oh wow what a thing to say. Sometimes, guys are just really insensitive. Give him a good smack on the head from me too

porksdad replied: LOL--well speaking as an idiot I thought I should defend my sex as one of the lone male voices here


Problem is we don't understand women

We try honest we do...but we just work from a different basis--I think or perhaps I dont think LOL

I love my wife with all my heart--NOTHING i ever say is meant in a derogatory way--honest (except maybe when we are shouting hahaha)

But seems that almost anything I say can be taken wrong....

As often as not it is sense of humour misfiring but sometimes--I have no clue LOL

I tell her--`when i say something and you feel like being offended- stop and find the nicest possible interpretation of what I said and THAT is what I meant`...does not work LOL


examples: Wife - `Angelina Joli is pretty isn't she'
Right answer ` you are pretty'
Wife `Ha you just BS me'
wrong answer `yes'
Wife `..............................................................................'

Wife - `Have I put on weight since we married'
Me ` yes' (she is still very thin )
Wife ` you think I am fat and don't love me anymore!'
huh????



my theory is that men think they understand women whilst not having a clue and women try to hard to understand something deeper in men when in fact we are pretty shallow and what you see is what you get --we really are that simple


Sure he meant it in the nicest possible way

eg:

Your interpretation of his comments is `he thinks I am fat and need to lose weight to look like that' - hence upset stony silence and throwing things

Possibly he means ` I love you with all my heart, whatever shape you are, I know you are dieting and want to encourage you to feel good about yourself ' maybe??


haahaha now ducks down and prepares to be flamed

CantWait replied: haha nice theory, but you guys are still in the gutter. Nice try anyway

kimberley replied: LOL too funny! nice try!

alice&arik replied: Yeah nice try. Thanks for your opinion though! I just think that maybe guys shouldn't say anything...especially if they know it is the wrong thing. Maybe they try to hard to think of something to say, and then screw it up. I was always taught, if you can't say anything nice, don't say nothing at all...(Bambi) We are over it though..well as far as he thinks...he hasn't gotten anything since and he's probably going to have to wait a while longer too.

porksdad replied: hahahahahahahahah- had to try :)

Yeah i try saying nothing and then get smacked for not paying attention hahahahah

sounds like you found the appropriate punishment hahahah

he has my empathy :)

KatieLeigh79 replied: Just tell DH what I tell mine when he goes on about something and realizes he shouldn't have started with the comments he did..

"Just keep digging hunny, pretty soon, pretty soon you will be in China"

or

"Burying yourself before your gone eh, maybe I do need to up the life insurance.."