My news - We have our foster boy back...

boobies4virtue wrote: We got our foster boy back on August 28th. We had him before and he was taken from his mother while she attends rehab, AGAIN. It's rough reversing the emotional damage that she subjected him to. It's almost like starting all over with him again. He was brought up in a house where lying and telling stories was a common occurance. Sometimes even an encouraged habit. (If grandma asks, don't tell her that you missed school, today. Just tell her you went and change the subject.")
Also, he grew up seeing his mother makes excuses for her behavior instead of owning up to it. (I lost my job b/c my boss didn't like me because her husband wants me. Which just let me say, If you saw this woman, EWWWW!) He also saw her drug use. He thinks it's ok for a child to take sips of beer. I know some people do this, but I don't agree with it. It took us a long time to drill it into his head that it was not acceptable for him to ask DH for a sip of his beer. That was the more tame of the things that he saw her do.
She made excuses for his behavior by using her maternal drug use. ("Well, he can't concentrate on school because of my addiction while I was pregnant. I guess he needs medication. Well, nothing that I can do about that now." Actual words, that is quoted)
Also, she's gone as far as to tell him that his dad didn't think that he was his dad and while he was still in her belly, his dad wanted her to kill him. She has stated in front of him that she didn't want a boy, she wanted a girl and that she was going to abort him, but she waited too long. I can see telling a child that you considered abortion when they are much older and able to understand that, but to tell a 6 year old these things is just mental and emotional abuse, IMO.

Well anyway, that's my big news. I hope all is well for everyone and contrary to what this post may sound like, I'm happy as can be that we have him back. If his mom would give him up, we'd take him in a heart beat!! I'm just waiting for stupid CYS to give pull him to go live with his mother again. They're already talking about allowing her to keep him overnight on the weekends to keep her in his life. I hate that! I can't enjoy myself on the weekends b/c I'm worried about him. Also, we can't do anything as a family, then. Sometimes, I think CYS's policies are just the dumbest thing ever!

A&A'smommy replied: OMG Well I'm glad ya'll got him back I can't amagine letting a boy go through all of that give him some stability and then subject him to that crap again!!! I hope that you guys will be able to keep him permanatly!! BTW Welcome back!

ions_momma replied: Im so glad that you got him back! He definately doesnt need to be in that situation! I think its wrong that they are allowing her to see him on weekends even! He needs to be taken from her permanatly!

amymom replied: Oh I just hate to know that kids go through that kind of stuff. Thank God that you are there for him. I hope it is long term. I know parents have rights, but come on someone give this kid a break!!!
Again, Thank you for taking care of him.

boobies4virtue replied:
"CYS'S goal is to keep the child in the family unit." Dumn, I know, but that's what they told me when I complained the last time.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I suppose that is certain situations it would be best to get the child back with biological parents. But in cases of ongoing drug use, neglect and emotional abuse it is just wrong.

CCTandME replied:
Even when the "family unit" does more harm than good! BS!! Then he becomes a product of his environment and inthe same situations as her.

Well, atleast he has you and your family. I hope someday soon the "system" wakes up and cuts her off. to you for caring so much and trying so hard!

CantWait replied: Congrats on getting him back. I know it's not under the best of circumstances, but maybe you can put some good memories, and good morals and values into him while he's with ya.

amynicole21 replied: Oh, that is so sad That poor baby. I'm glad he's getting a bit of stability and normalcy in his life now that he's with you guys. It takes a really big heart to be a foster parent

boobies4virtue replied:
Naaaah, It just takes a very lovable kid. Seriously, the meanest person in the world couldn't help but love this child.

sunshine girls replied: It's good you got him back, James wants us to be foster parents, he has for years. I bet it's really rewarding...

boobies4virtue replied:
He's the only one we've ever had and probably the only one we ever will have. I took him because I used to babysit him when his mom went to rehab the first time (actually i think that was the 2nd or 3rd time). She kind of abandoned him at my house and then got permission from CYS and myself for us to become his foster parents. It's hard when I know that they are going to send him back and that's hard. Dh said that this is the last time because it's too hard letting him go.

jenn3 replied: OMG! I so glad youg ot himback

gr33n3y3z replied: I'm glad he will have some place stable to stay for awhile.
I think its very nice you take is foster children