My long lost cousin - need advice...sorry long

mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: My uncle had adopted a baby boy with his first wife back in the late sixties. I grew up with my cousin, but stopped seeing him when he turned about sixteen, maybe a little older. He had got into a lot of trouble with drugs, fights, etc...and was in and out of juvi. I don't know the whole story because I was only about eight at the time and my parents didn't tell me much. But all I remember is that my cousin pulled a knife on my uncle (who was divorced at the time) and my uncle finally just said that's it. So I hope this doesn't offend anyone, and again, I don't know the real story, but I think my cousin was probably eighteen by then and his dad just finally kicked him out. I'm hoping he was eighteen.

Over the years, we have tried to ask my uncle questions about our cousin at family get togethers. But my uncle always says he wants nothing to do with him and that it's been too many years. Or he'll say "oh yeah, I ran into him a few years ago, he's okay"...and that's about it. So we typically just let it go. Very sore subject.

I did find out from my father that my cousin has contacted my uncle recently and told him that he is grandfather! Well today I get an email forwarded from my uncle himself which is a correspondence between him and his son!!!! Typically my uncle is so hush hush about his son and wouldn't want us in contact with him, but I'm taking the fact that he forwarded the email to me as a sign he's telling me it's okay. Do you think?

I'm only worried that it could be my cousin who doesn't want contact with us. Maybe he doesn't know my uncle forwarded his email. You guys, I haven't spoken to this guy for 22 years! He doesn't know me, I don't know him. I have great memories of him...he was my fun older cousin! So what do you think? Should I email him? What if he doesn't write back? He could be embarassed that so much time has passed. Gosh...I have this huge weight in my chest right now.

mommy_loves_chase replied: i think you should do it i dont think it could hurt if doesn't write back atleast then you know

Sarah&Mackenzie replied: I would say go ahead and e-mail him. If he doesn't e-mail you back that must mean he doesn't want contact with you. But if he does write back maybe he can answer all the questions you have. Good Luck, let us know what happens!!

kit_kats_mom replied: I would email him back. I think that many of us make stupid mistakes when we are young but once we finally get out head on straight & attempt to right our wrongs, then I think we should be given a chance.

mckayleesmom replied: I would email him.

CCTandME replied: Would you feel better if your Uncle said it was ok to try to contact him? Maybe you could call or email him 1st. Hopefully your cousin has his act together. If so, when you are comfortable, I'd email or call him. Good luck!!

amynicole21 replied: You've really got nothing to lose... if he doesn't write back, so be it. I say go for it.

redchief replied: Since your uncle seems open to talking about your cousin, I'd ask your uncle if the cousin would be prepared for such contact from other family.

luvbug00 replied: I would try. I can't say much else for fear I may say somthing offencive. But I sincerley hope it all works out!!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
I just emailed my uncle just to double check that it's okay to contact him. Thanks for the advice everyone! I'll let you know how it turns out!

jacobsmama replied: I would email too.

Alice replied: For what it's worth:

Even if he's somehow still bitter about the events of 20+ years ago, he'll realize that you were a child when it all went down. If he's trying to re-build his family, and that of his child, I would say go for it!

gr33n3y3z replied: e-mail him

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Let us know how it works out. I'm curious to hear.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Sorry to bump this up...but thanks you guys! I just don't know what to write!!! "Hey, remember me...your little cousin who had long braids and glasses?"

I know we don't all live in the same city anymore, but I just wish my uncle would have taken the responsibility to bring him to a family function. It is a little strange to just forward an email and then put the ball in our court. I'm not angry with my uncle, but he's been pretending he hasn't had a son for years...I think he should be making more of an effort to let us know it's a good idea to contact him. I suppose he's embarassed. Wow this is tough.

I'll think of what to write and let you know...

chloe&tysmommy replied: let us know what happens.....I hope he writes back to you

CCTandME replied: did you talk to your uncle yet?

CCTandME replied:
Just write what comes to mind. A friendly hello from a long lost cousin. Be yourself. Good luck!!