My MIL

Calimama wrote: Have you ever seen those TLC commercials for the life lesson statues? There's one where the motto is " Never let your inlaws see you crack".. I need about 50 of those placed throughout my house as reminders. My MIL and her 6 year old son get in tommrow night and I am SUPER bummed. I'm trying not to be negative and stay cheerful but this is the same woman who offered to take Bella "off our hands", is down right rude to me at times, and says I'm too young to be a proper mother and wife to her son. I feel like my Thanksgiving is ruined because of the negativity she brings to the house. Her "kidding around" or not, I'm really worried about her taking Bella and that is NOT something I should worry about from her grandmother. This is Bella's first thanksgiving and I refuse to have it ruined. I need lots of "stay strong" vibes.

MyBabeMaddie replied: I hear ya, MIL's are nothing but big pains in the a$$!!!!

cameragirl21 replied: what do you mean by you worry about her taking your baby, you mean like by kidnapping or by suing you for custody?
the woman sounds like a meddlesome female dog and i think that you should talk to your DH about how she treats you and if that doesn't do the trick then respond to her obnoxious remarks in the same obnoxious manner.
most people don't like a taste of their own medicine....

Calimama replied:
This is the story.. I posted it awhile back but I dont know how to quote it properly.


My MIL is planning a visit for Thanksgiving, and I am LESS than thrilled. My Dh and I have been married a little over a year, about 3 months into we had an unplanned pregnancy. There was NEVER any question we would have, raise, and love our child. Well when we called my MIL to tell her she had the nerve to tell us that she would raise the baby as her own since we werent ready for a child (because I'm 19)! She didnt ask us, she TOLD us. Anyway speed up to the present. She called and said she and her 6yr old son were coming for Thanksgiving and are going to be staying with us. She said she cant wait to meet her new "daughter" NOT grandaughter.. and told us that she wants Bella to call her Momma Jen. I may be totally overreacting but I reallllly dont feel comfortable having her around my child. If I hear her say " She's so gorgeous, She'd complete our family" one more time I'm going to lose it. I just dont think it's something you should joke or kid around about? Am I totally off here?

cameragirl21 replied: i remember you posting that but what i mean to say is that she can't just take your daughter without your permission unless she kidnaps her and she can't get custody of her legally unless you sign away your parental rights to her.
so i mean, are you just uncomfortable about her being there or are you seriously worried that she may try to take your baby?
i'm just trying to understand because if you really think she may take her then you should uninvite her for TG.
also, i think you should firmly tell her that she is your daughter's GRANDMOTHER and that is exactly what Bella will call her.

Calimama replied:
She talks about going to court over it, but she really has no ground to stand on if she tried it. I cant find one single thing in which she could use.. we dont even have credit card debt. I guess that I'm just really uncomfortable with her being there and around Bella. It's probably unnecessary but I cant shake those feelings of "what if". I would never joke around or threaten to take away someone's child and I really dont understand how anyone else could either.

cameragirl21 replied:
idk, that would really make me uncomfortable.
if i were you i'd not want her in my home, i'd tell DH that she's not welcome as long as she talks like that.
and if there's no going back for TG since she's already on her way or whatever then i'd just give her this one last chance and never leave her alone with the baby, ever.

sparkys2boys replied:
I soooooooo agree!!!!! Not nice, but gawd.. back off a lil you MIL's!!!!

amymom replied: WOW Tons of hugs for you. Stay strong and make sure DH backs you up. Take care! Lots of prayers for you this week.

mom2my2cuties replied:
Aww not all of them - mine are actually mostly great. One of them I just love to death!!!

mom2my2cuties replied: I will respond more about this to you personally - since I have some direct experience with this thanks to my ex husband's family.


For now though

PrairieMom replied: it would be really hard to have a person like that in my home.
I would be sure to call her "grandma" as much as possible.
What does your DH think of the whole situation?

C&K*s Mommie replied: Being that it is your own home she is a guest in, I would suggest taking frequent 'breathers' in the privacy of your own bedroom as to not explode/implode over things that she says or does.

Many stay sane vibes for ya.

Calimama replied:
He agrees with me that she's nuts at times, but says she doesnt mean any true harm. It doesnt bother him that his mom wants to be called mom by Bella and says that I'm thinking too much into it. I do know that he will never take anyone's "side" over mine and will always support me. He would never let anyone take away or hurt Bella. But he really doesnt see how this thing with his mother is a problem.

Thanks for all the vibes everyone.

MotherForever2043 replied: Stay Strong hunny. You can do it!!

CantWait replied: Stay strong. Try not worry, you know the kind of home that you and dh provide to Bella. The courts will see right through that woman if she tried anything.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: You say she has a 6 year old son...does she feel 'too young' to be a grandma? I do not in any way feel that excuses her behavior or her request that she be called mom or any form of it...I can completely understand your concern and irritation at such a request! YOU are Bella's Mommy and if I were you I would call her Granma,Grammy,GRANNY and every variation you can during this visit-if she says oh Bella come to Mommy or anything so insane I would flat out (sweetly of course ) LAY down the law that you and only you have that title! It may be very possible that once you draw the line she will not cross it! I am really sorry you are dealing with such a crappy situation on Thanksgiving! It is a very important holiday to me and I would be flipping out in your shoes! ~~~~~~~Stay strong vibes~~~~~~~~ I hope all goes well and MIL grows up!

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Any way you can have a friend or two over to witness her talking like that? Lol!!

At least then, you'd have some "evidence" that she's nuts if ever you need to go to court...

lesliesmom replied: I agree with a previous post, I think she might feel too young to be called grandma; HOWEVER, I don't think she should be called mom, mommy, momma or any dirision of mother...that is NOT her position... If she doesn't want to be called grandma then teach your daughter, as she gets older, to call her by her first name only and see what she thinks of that..

As far as her suggesting that she raise your daughter, I would be infuriated. I wish you the best and will be thinking about you and sending STAY SANE and HAPPY THANKSGIVING vibes your way. If it gets too out of control, maybe you and Bella should go visit some friends for a couple hours, or just through her out. Maybe DH will see how bothersome this is for you during the visit and how uncomfortable it makes you and say/do something to help defuse the situation...

Good luck!

holley79 replied: Stay strong sweetie. If you lived closer we could hook our MILs up and you and DH could come to our house for Thanksgiving.

lisar replied: Me and my MIL do not get along at all. We have completly diffrent views on everything in life. And she has to point them out to me everytime I see her. Me and my DH have been married for over 2 years. I finally got to the point to where it was like WHATEVER I dont listen to her mouth any more and keep mine shut. I tell her what I think at all times. (of course I am nice enough to not say anything until she starts with me) Sorry you are feeling this way. Hopefully it will all go smoothly and it will be over and she will be gone before you know it.

redplaydoh replied: If she wants the title of mommy in the name, then I suggest you call her what my kids call DH's mom. Grossmami (Grossmommy). In English it could mean a whole different thing than it does here.