Motherhood survey

cameragirl21 wrote: This is for moms but if you're a dad and want to answer, feel free to do so as well, replacing motherhood with fatherhood, obviously.
Also, please be very honest, there are no right or wrong answers.
1. What is the best thing about being a mom?
2. What is the worst/most challenging thing about being a mom? Please don't saying "nothing" because I am certain that there is not a mom in this world who doesn't find some aspect of motherhood challenging no matter how devoted a mother she may be. Finding something unpleasant or challenging in motherhood does NOT make you a bad mom.
3. What is the one thing you wish someone had told you about motherhood before you became a mom?
4. What is the one thing you would like to do but can't because you're a mom?
5. What besides financial matter is your biggest worry when it comes to being a mom?
6. Have you ever, even for one split second questioned the wisdom of your decision to become a mom?
7. If your child was planned, what made you suddenly decide you are ready to become a mom?
8. If your child was a surprise, what is the one unexpected good surprise that came along with motherhood? (besides the child)
9. If youcould talk to the person you were before becoming a mom, what is the one thing you would like to tell that person?
10. If you were asked to offer up advice for a book that was geared toward new or expectant moms and could only offer one piece of advice, what would it be?
11. How similar is your parenting style to that of your parents? What do you do that is the same, what do you do that is different?
12. What is the one thing you wish you could give your child but you can't? What can't you?
13. What is the one thing you want to give your child that you never got?
14. Do you believe your children appreciate you? This is not to be confused with loving you or being attached to you.
15. How similar are your children to what you imagined you would get when you were pg with them?
16. Do you worry about your children's future? What specifically worries you?
17. Do you feel you really, truly know your children?
18. Do you believe it is your responsibility, as a parent, to nurture your child's dream even if that dream is very far from what you hoped for your child?
19. What is the biggest thing you have learned from your children? This is not to be confused with what you have learned from motherhood itself...what I am asking is, what has your child taught you as an individual?
20. Describe how motherhood has changed you? Has it changed who you are as a person?
21. Has having a child changed your outlook on life or the world in general?
22. If money and practical matters, such as your age, your circumstances, etc were not factors, would you have another child? If yes, how soon would you do it?
23. What do you wish childless women knew about mothers?
24. This is a bit morbid but if you were to disappear tomorrow, what is the one thing you would want your child to hold on to that is coming from you? I don't mean material things, I mean what is the one thing you hope your child will have gotten/learned from you?
25. Is motherhood what you expected it to be?
Ok, that is all I have for now but I reserve the right to add on to this list...please answer honestly and feel free to take some time to think about your answers, this is supposed to be informative and fun for all.

luvmykids replied: 1. What is the best thing about being a mom? It's hard to pick one best, but if I had to I think I'd say the overwhelming amount of love you feel for them, and know they feel for you, and how it inspires you to do right by them.

2. What is the worst/most challenging thing about being a mom? On a personal level, the juggling and wanting to be super mom but wanting to hold on to some remnant of myself as well. As a mom, the most challenging thing is having to make decisions I know they won't like or understand and having them be mad at me because of it.

3. What is the one thing you wish someone had told you about motherhood before you became a mom? I don't think there is anything someone didn't tell me, people are all too happy to give you their two cents But 99% of I couldn't grasp until I was a mom anyway.

4. What is the one thing you would like to do but can't because you're a mom? I can't think of anything off the top of my head, if I wanted to do or pursue something bad enough, I'd probably find a way to make it work. There are many things I don't do because it would be difficult, but I'm content to wait until it's a better time to do them....if they mattered enough, I'd find a way to do it now.

5. What besides financial matter is your biggest worry when it comes to being a mom? Finances are low on my worry list, I'm much more concerned with the typical mom stuff....am I doing enough, am I doing it well enough, how will this affect them down the road, will they be happy...the list is long!

6. Have you ever, even for one split second questioned the wisdom of your decision to become a mom? NO

7. If your child was planned, what made you suddenly decide you are ready to become a mom?

8. If your child was a surprise, what is the one unexpected good surprise that came along with motherhood? (besides the child) Knowing I didn't have to worry about whether the timing was right, because we were on the adventure regardless.

9. If youcould talk to the person you were before becoming a mom, what is the one thing you would like to tell that person? You think you have a full and good life now, just wait! And think long and hard about your choices, because they may not only affect you but your children down the line.

10. If you were asked to offer up advice for a book that was geared toward new or expectant moms and could only offer one piece of advice, what would it be? Remember that everything is a season and will pass....the sleepless nights, the terrible twos...none of it lasts forever and it will get better.

11. How similar is your parenting style to that of your parents? What do you do that is the same, what do you do that is different? Very similar, I'm just a tad more modern than they when it comes to parenting. It's actually kind of interesting to see how many things I didn't like as a kid that I do now as a parent Right now I can't point out any significant differences, that will likely change when they hit their teens.

12. What is the one thing you wish you could give your child but you can't? What can't you? Honestly, I feel everything they truly NEED, we can give them. On a sentimental level, I wish more than anything they could know my grandmother who passed away before they were even born. They would have benefited greatly from her influence. I also wish we could afford a Christian school for all of them. Someday I hope we can.

13. What is the one thing you want to give your child that you never got? A cabbage patch doll.

14. Do you believe your children appreciate you? This is not to be confused with loving you or being attached to you. Yes and no. I think they take for granted what moms do on a daily basis but not out of ungratefulness, they just have better things to think about. However, I think they do appreciate me in the way they're capable of at this age, they thank me quite a bit and tell me I'm the best mommy ever

15. How similar are your children to what you imagined you would get when you were pg with them? Very.

16. Do you worry about your children's future? What specifically worries you? The world they'll have to deal with.

17. Do you feel you really, truly know your children? Absolutely.

18. Do you believe it is your responsibility, as a parent, to nurture your child's dream even if that dream is very far from what you hoped for your child? Yes and no, I can't condone things I'm morally opposed to but outside of that, yes.

19. What is the biggest thing you have learned from your children? Too much to mention but a few things that come to mind: To enjoy the chaos and messy side of life, be flexible and adaptable, love everyone until they give you good reason not to. Say what you need to say. Laugh, a lot.

20. Describe how motherhood has changed you? Has it changed who you are as a person? It's so hard to keep these answers short Of course it has changed me, for the better...before kids I was just drifting along, didn't have a lot of motivation or purpose. I *thought* I was doing my best in my life, but when you have kids, you want your best to be better than that even. It's lightened me up, made me notice the details in life that I'd overlooked. Changed my priorities, as long as my kids are happy and healthy that is all I really need.

21. Has having a child changed your outlook on life or the world in general? It's made me much more wary of the world we live in as a whole, but at the same time softened my heart to places I might not have cared much about before. Realizing there are children in countries who don't have as good as yours makes you very thankful.

22. If money and practical matters, such as your age, your circumstances, etc were not factors, would you have another child? If yes, how soon would you do it? In a heartbeat, I wish very often I hadn't rushed into the decision to have my tubes tied because I would love to have another.

23. What do you wish childless women knew about mothers? You just can't say what you'd do or not do until you have children....honestly, there is no way to know that until you're there.

24. This is a bit morbid but if you were to disappear tomorrow, what is the one thing you would want your child to hold on to that is coming from you? I don't mean material things, I mean what is the one thing you hope your child will have gotten/learned from you? One thing? My faith.

25. Is motherhood what you expected it to be? So much more.

My3LilMonkeys replied: 1. What is the best thing about being a mom? Hearing your child say "I love you".

2. What is the worst/most challenging thing about being a mom? Please don't saying "nothing" because I am certain that there is not a mom in this world who doesn't find some aspect of motherhood challenging no matter how devoted a mother she may be. Finding something unpleasant or challenging in motherhood does NOT make you a bad mom. Doing something that is in their best interest, but they hate it.

3. What is the one thing you wish someone had told you about motherhood before you became a mom? That every child is a new challenge.

4. What is the one thing you would like to do but can't because you're a mom? Honestly I can't think of anything.

5. What besides financial matter is your biggest worry when it comes to being a mom? That I'll mess then up and they'll be in therapy for life.

6. Have you ever, even for one split second questioned the wisdom of your decision to become a mom? no

7. If your child was planned, what made you suddenly decide you are ready to become a mom? Madison (2nd child) was planned. We knew we wanted them close together so we decided we were ready to handle 2.

8. If your child was a surprise, what is the one unexpected good surprise that came along with motherhood? (besides the child) Brooke (1st) and Bobby (3rd) were unplanned. With Brooke it was not having to agonize over are we ready, should we wait until we have more $, etc. With Bobby, it was the amazing discovery that even though I NEVER wanted more than 2 kids, I now know that our family would never had been complete without him.

9. If you could talk to the person you were before becoming a mom, what is the one thing you would like to tell that person? Save all that money you're wasting on eating out and buying stuff you don't really need - you'll need it later!

10. If you were asked to offer up advice for a book that was geared toward new or expectant moms and could only offer one piece of advice, what would it be? Do what's best for your family, not your mother's, sister's or next door neighbor's.

11. How similar is your parenting style to that of your parents? What do you do that is the same, what do you do that is different? Similar. I am very easygoing about the kids getting dirty. Different in that I am much more strict about cleaning up the messes.

12. What is the one thing you wish you could give your child but you can't? What can't you? I wish I could give them enough money to never have to worry about financial troubles. But in the end I know any struggles they have will help shape them and make them stronger.

13. What is the one thing you want to give your child that you never got? A feeling that they can come to me and talk to me about absolutely anything.

14. Do you believe your children appreciate you? This is not to be confused with loving you or being attached to you. I think so - they are always thankful for things I give them and often express gratitude for simple things like washing their clothes or getting them a drink.

15. How similar are your children to what you imagined you would get when you were pg with them? I never really tried to predict what I would get - just hoped for healthy, happy children. In that aspect I got exactly what I wanted.

16. Do you worry about your children's future? What specifically worries you? The issues they will have to deal with in regards to the economy and the environment.

17. Do you feel you really, truly know your children? yes

18. Do you believe it is your responsibility, as a parent, to nurture your child's dream even if that dream is very far from what you hoped for your child? Absolutely. As long as their dream is not illegal (such as murder or robbery) I will support them in any way I can.

19. What is the biggest thing you have learned from your children? This is not to be confused with what you have learned from motherhood itself...what I am asking is, what has your child taught you as an individual? To have fun with everything you do.

20. Describe how motherhood has changed you? Has it changed who you are as a person? It has made me more patient, more flexible.

21. Has having a child changed your outlook on life or the world in general? Not really

22. If money and practical matters, such as your age, your circumstances, etc were not factors, would you have another child? If yes, how soon would you do it? No. I am happy with our family just the way it is.

23. What do you wish childless women knew about mothers? I wish they could feel the overwhelming amount of love a child brings to your life.

24. This is a bit morbid but if you were to disappear tomorrow, what is the one thing you would want your child to hold on to that is coming from you? I don't mean material things, I mean what is the one thing you hope your child will have gotten/learned from you? I hope they will have learned to be kind and giving.

25. Is motherhood what you expected it to be? Yes, and so much more.

kit_kats_mom replied:
1. What is the best thing about being a mom?
Being able to fix everything with a kiss and a snuggle
2. What is the worst/most challenging thing about being a mom? For me it's a toss up between lack of sleep and discipline. I really want to be their friend but I knkow that I wouldn't be doing them any favors so I control myself.
3. What is the one thing you wish someone had told you about motherhood before you became a mom? that you will suffer more pain when they hurt themselves or when someone hurts them than they probably do. I physically flinch when they get hurt at the playground and I can hold a heck of a grudge against any little kid that hurts their feelings. LOL

4. What is the one thing you would like to do but can't because you're a mom? Go on more vacations
5. What besides financial matter is your biggest worry when it comes to being a mom? that I'm doing a good job and raising them to be awesome, self assured adults. I have a problem with my self confidence and trying to help them find/keep theirs is challenging to me.
6. Have you ever, even for one split second questioned the wisdom of your decision to become a mom? oh yeah. Not for long but in my selfish moments, yes.
7. If your child was planned, what made you suddenly decide you are ready to become a mom? I really don't know. I never wanted kids, thought they were weird little alien things. Maybe it was peer pressure and knowing that I'd finally found a partner who would be a great dad. Katherine was planned.
8. If your child was a surprise, what is the one unexpected good surprise that came along with motherhood? (besides the child) lauren was not planned. The joy of sisters. It can be rough sometimes but they really do love each other and I can see them learning lessons that I never learned as a child
9. If youcould talk to the person you were before becoming a mom, what is the one thing you would like to tell that person? You are way stronger and patient than you can imagine and having children will allow you to be the child that you never really got to be.
10. If you were asked to offer up advice for a book that was geared toward new or expectant moms and could only offer one piece of advice, what would it be? Take a few tasteful nude shots before and during pregnancy. Your body will never be exactly the same.
11. How similar is your parenting style to that of your parents? What do you do that is the same, what do you do that is different? I'm a lot more involved with my kids. My mom was young a kind of selfish. Not a bad thing, I learned a lot from that. I realize the benefits that I got from that so I try not to hover but I am more involved.
12. What is the one thing you wish you could give your child but you can't? What can't you? self confidence
13. What is the one thing you want to give your child that you never got? see above. LOL
14. Do you believe your children appreciate you? This is not to be confused with loving you or being attached to you. Not yet. I think they will appreciate their dad and I more when they are exposed to other families.
15. How similar are your children to what you imagined you would get when you were pg with them? total polar opposites
16. Do you worry about your children's future? What specifically worries you? I chronically worry about them. Their future loves, their future hurts. I wish I could teach them all of the lessons I've learned but I know they will have to learn most of them on their own and learn by consequences.
17. Do you feel you really, truly know your children? yes. I'm not the worlds most perceptive person but I think I've got a pretty good handle on them so far. I'm sure they will be able to pull one over on me when they get older though.
18. Do you believe it is your responsibility, as a parent, to nurture your child's dream even if that dream is very far from what you hoped for your child? All I really hope for is for them to be happy and to not be in jail. So as long as their dream isn't selling crack then yes, I'll nurture it.
19. What is the biggest thing you have learned from your children? This is not to be confused with what you have learned from motherhood itself...what I am asking is, what has your child taught you as an individual? Katherine has taught me to slow down and take in life more. To revel in the joys of a puppy and a rainstorm. Lauren has taught me that snuggles can heal me too.
20. Describe how motherhood has changed you? Has it changed who you are as a person? Yes. Physically and mentally...mentally, I'm more flexible than I was before and I am not nearly as self involved as I used to be. I am also taking better care of myself because I want to be around for a long time to see them acheive whatever it they want.
21. Has having a child changed your outlook on life or the world in general? They've made me much more aware of the future of our world but I now am convinced that people are basically good. I also believe in some supreme being. Still not religious but I can understand spirituality more.
22. If money and practical matters, such as your age, your circumstances, etc were not factors, would you have another child? If yes, how soon would you do it? Yes, right away. I just can't take the weight nor the lack of sleep...I'm just too old.
23. What do you wish childless women knew about mothers? That we are just trying our best and that if a kid is bothering you at a restaraunt, take a look at it from their perspective and see how exciting the mundane can be.
24. This is a bit morbid but if you were to disappear tomorrow, what is the one thing you would want your child to hold on to that is coming from you? I don't mean material things, I mean what is the one thing you hope your child will have gotten/learned from you? I hope Katheirne would retain our sense of humor and remember to keep it light. She tends towards the too serious. I would hope Lauren would keep the family bond alive. Our family (extended and local) is quite tight and I think it's a wonderful gift.
25. Is motherhood what you expected it to be? Not at all. It's harder but more rewarding than I ever expected.


Ok, that is all I have for now but I reserve the right to add on to this list...please answer honestly and feel free to take some time to think about your answers, this is supposed to be informative and fun for all.

ZandersMama replied: 1. What is the best thing about being a mom?
The I love yous, all the way!
2. What is the worst/most challenging thing about being a mom? Please don't saying "nothing" because I am certain that there is not a mom in this world who doesn't find some aspect of motherhood challenging no matter how devoted a mother she may be. Finding something unpleasant or challenging in motherhood does NOT make you a bad mom.
Giving enough time right now, school is taking up so much time, I feel like i'm missing so much
3. What is the one thing you wish someone had told you about motherhood before you became a mom?
The hard times get easier
4. What is the one thing you would like to do but can't because you're a mom?
I sometimes with I could go further career wise, i'm kicking butt in my classes right now, and would love to take it further but I don't want to take any more time away from the boys. So I could do it, but right now I won't , the boys are growing older so quick. Eventually though I want to be an RN and work in hospice. when both of the boys are in school I hope to be able to go back.
5. What besides financial matter is your biggest worry when it comes to being a mom?
Doing it on my own, i'm afraid I won't be enough.
6. Have you ever, even for one split second questioned the wisdom of your decision to become a mom?
Never, they are my world.
7. If your child was planned, what made you suddenly decide you are ready to become a mom?
I've always wanted to be mom
8. If your child was a surprise, what is the one unexpected good surprise that came along with motherhood? (besides the child)
9. If youcould talk to the person you were before becoming a mom, what is the one thing you would like to tell that person?
DONT START SMOKING
10. If you were asked to offer up advice for a book that was geared toward new or expectant moms and could only offer one piece of advice, what would it be?
dont listen to books follow your gut and your heart.
11. How similar is your parenting style to that of your parents? What do you do that is the same, what do you do that is different?
Very differant. In good ways. Thats all I have to say about that.
12. What is the one thing you wish you could give your child but you can't? What can't you?
A complete family under one roof.
13. What is the one thing you want to give your child that you never got?
I want them to know that no matter what decisions they make in life they will always have my love.
14. Do you believe your children appreciate you? This is not to be confused with loving you or being attached to you.
Not even a little bit lol. They are young. i hope they will when they are older.
15. How similar are your children to what you imagined you would get when you were pg with them?
Pretty similer. They both kicked the crap out of me and were always jumping. Now they are just always jumping. Although shhhh I thought Zav was a girl.
16. Do you worry about your children's future? What specifically worries you?
I worry about Zaviers health.
17. Do you feel you really, truly know your children?
Yes, as much as you can know 2 and 4 year olds. They change every day.
18. Do you believe it is your responsibility, as a parent, to nurture your child's dream even if that dream is very far from what you hoped for your child?
Yes. as long as its not illegal.
19. What is the biggest thing you have learned from your child?
I can do anything, I am strong.
20. Describe how motherhood has changed you? Has it changed who you are as a person?
I am a completely differant person, I am responsible, motherhood makes me want to be a better person.
21. Has having a child changed your outlook on life or the world in general?
Yes, it makes me very scared.
22. If money and practical matters, such as your age, your circumstances, etc were not factors, would you have another child? If yes, how soon would you do it?
Yes, now.
23. What do you wish childless women knew about mothers?
Listen when we are bragging about our kids lol they are our world.
24. This is a bit morbid but if you were to disappear tomorrow, what is the one thing you would want your child to hold on to that is coming from you? I don't mean material things, I mean what is the one thing you hope your child will have gotten/learned from you?
Faith in GOd
25. Is motherhood what you expected it to be?
Alot more then I ever thought it would be.

my2monkeyboys replied: 1. What is the best thing about being a mom? loving someone else so unconditionally

2. What is the worst/most challenging thing about being a mom? Please don't saying "nothing" because I am certain that there is not a mom in this world who doesn't find some aspect of motherhood challenging no matter how devoted a mother she may be. Finding something unpleasant or challenging in motherhood does NOT make you a bad mom. Being patient at all times... I tend to lose my patience when I'm really tired and feel guilty about it later.

3. What is the one thing you wish someone had told you about motherhood before you became a mom? How absolutely hard it is.

4. What is the one thing you would like to do but can't because you're a mom? nothing really.

5. What besides financial matter is your biggest worry when it comes to being a mom? that my kids will be good, honest, hard working people in the end.

6. Have you ever, even for one split second questioned the wisdom of your decision to become a mom? no

7. If your child was planned, what made you suddenly decide you are ready to become a mom? Neither were exactly planned, they came along when we didn't use any protection for a time or 2. I knew I was ready for them both though, even before we had them. The way I knew I was ready was the deep, physical ache for them.

8. If your child was a surprise, what is the one unexpected good surprise that came along with motherhood? (besides the child)

9. If you could talk to the person you were before becoming a mom, what is the one thing you would like to tell that person? have them earlier -- you'll never have the 'perfect' time so don't wait so long.

10. If you were asked to offer up advice for a book that was geared toward new or expectant moms and could only offer one piece of advice, what would it be?
it is the hardest thing you'll ever do, and no one who is not a parent will ever truly understand.

11. How similar is your parenting style to that of your parents? What do you do that is the same, what do you do that is different? I try to show them that I love them in every way possible, just like my parents do. But I am not as controlling as they are.

12. What is the one thing you wish you could give your child but you can't? What can't you? time with my Nanny -- she would have loved them both to pieces!

13. What is the one thing you want to give your child that you never got? a more stable homelife

14. Do you believe your children appreciate you? This is not to be confused with loving you or being attached to you. I think so, in as much as a 6 yr old and 4 month old can.

15. How similar are your children to what you imagined you would get when you were pg with them? I never thought about how they would be. I just knew they would perfect for me.

16. Do you worry about your children's future? What specifically worries you? moral issues, economic issues

17. Do you feel you really, truly know your children? yes

18. Do you believe it is your responsibility, as a parent, to nurture your child's dream even if that dream is very far from what you hoped for your child? absolutely, so long as it doesn't go against our faith or is illegal. If it did, then I would just try to guide them as best I could.

19. What is the biggest thing you have learned from your children? This is not to be confused with what you have learned from motherhood itself...what I am asking is, what has your child taught you as an individual? to be more flexible, to laugh more

20. Describe how motherhood has changed you? Has it changed who you are as a person? I am more centered around my kids now instead of myself, but I am the same person overall.

21. Has having a child changed your outlook on life or the world in general? yes, I am more compassionate.

22. If money and practical matters, such as your age, your circumstances, etc were not factors, would you have another child? If yes, how soon would you do it? I don't think so, though we haven't made any permanent decisions.

23. What do you wish childless women knew about mothers? how hard it is and not to be so judgmental

24. This is a bit morbid but if you were to disappear tomorrow, what is the one thing you would want your child to hold on to that is coming from you? I don't mean material things, I mean what is the one thing you hope your child will have gotten/learned from you? kindness, my faith

25. Is motherhood what you expected it to be? Not at all. It's much more difficult and demanding and absolutely the best thing ever. I never knew how much I could love someone regardless of how they feel about me. Being a mother is just such an amazing experience and I feel blessed to be a part of it.

lisar replied: 1. What is the best thing about being a mom? The unconditional love that my kids give me. I am not perfect and they think I am at their age.

2. What is the worst/most challenging thing about being a mom? Raygen when she pitches her fits. They are the worst.

3. What is the one thing you wish someone had told you about motherhood before you became a mom? LOL lots of things. Exactly how bad a poppy diaper stinks.

4. What is the one thing you would like to do but can't because you're a mom?Nothing really cause I could do it with them at my side.

5. What besides financial matter is your biggest worry when it comes to being a mom? Raising them with respect for other people.

6. Have you ever, even for one split second questioned the wisdom of your decision to become a mom? No

7. If your child was planned, what made you suddenly decide you are ready to become a mom?My first child was a suprise

8. If your child was a surprise, what is the one unexpected good surprise that came along with motherhood? The love

9. If youcould talk to the person you were before becoming a mom, what is the one thing you would like to tell that person? Nothing, I had alot of fun and dont regret anything

10. If you were asked to offer up advice for a book that was geared toward new or expectant moms and could only offer one piece of advice, what would it be? Stop and smell the roses with your 3 year old. They want to experiance it all so let them

11. How similar is your parenting style to that of your parents? What do you do that is the same, what do you do that is different? I am diffrent than my parents. nuff said

12. What is the one thing you wish you could give your child but you can't? What can't you? Private school, financial reasons

13. What is the one thing you want to give your child that you never got? They already have all that

14. Do you believe your children appreciate you? This is not to be confused with loving you or being attached to you. I dont know if they do, I think they are to young still at this point.

15. How similar are your children to what you imagined you would get when you were pg with them? What I got.

16. Do you worry about your children's future? What specifically worries you? I worry about what they are going to be when they grow up. Lexi says now she is going to join the Army and raygen dont know what a future is yet.

17. Do you feel you really, truly know your children? yes i do they are still young enough that I know them

18. Do you believe it is your responsibility, as a parent, to nurture your child's dream even if that dream is very far from what you hoped for your child? Yes I do, I will support them in no matter what they want to do

19. What is the biggest thing you have learned from your children? This is not to be confused with what you have learned from motherhood itself...what I am asking is, what has your child taught you as an individual? Life is to fast

20. Describe how motherhood has changed you? Has it changed who you are as a person?A little bit, I quit going out to bars all the time, but as for who I am no it hasnt changed that. I am still the same person just with 2 little girls now.

21. Has having a child changed your outlook on life or the world in general? Yes it has a little, I never worried about the little things before and now I do

22. If money and practical matters, such as your age, your circumstances, etc were not factors, would you have another child? If yes, how soon would you do it?NO WAY I AM DONE

23. What do you wish childless women knew about mothers? A person who doesnt have a child I think doesnt truly understand the bond between a mother and her child. You make that bond while they are inside you. If you adopt I think you can build that kind of bond it just takes a little more time to get

24. This is a bit morbid but if you were to disappear tomorrow, what is the one thing you would want your child to hold on to that is coming from you? I don't mean material things, I mean what is the one thing you hope your child will have gotten/learned from you? Respect and dont ever care what other people think of you always be yourself.

25. Is motherhood what you expected it to be?
yes and so much more than I ever thought

cameragirl21 replied: interesting answers, thanks, ladies.

moped replied: 1. What is the best thing about being a mom? Too many to list

2. What is the worst/most challenging thing about being a mom? Please don't saying "nothing" because I am certain that there is not a mom in this world who doesn't find some aspect of motherhood challenging no matter how devoted a mother she may be. Finding something unpleasant or challenging in motherhood does NOT make you a bad mom. I find a 4 year old very challenging
3. What is the one thing you wish someone had told you about motherhood before you became a mom? How exhausted I would be in the beginning, how much love you feel
4. What is the one thing you would like to do but can't because you're a mom? Travel more
5. What besides financial matter is your biggest worry when it comes to being a mom? Raising good people
6. Have you ever, even for one split second questioned the wisdom of your decision to become a mom? Ummmm yes and no, yes but it was too late, already pg.
7. If your child was planned, what made you suddenly decide you are ready to become a mom? I was over 30 and wanted to be a mom and be done by 35
8. If your child was a surprise, what is the one unexpected good surprise that came along with motherhood? (besides the child)
9. If you could talk to the person you were before becoming a mom, what is the one thing you would like to tell that person? I don’t know
10. If you were asked to offer up advice for a book that was geared toward new or expectant moms and could only offer one piece of advice, what would it be? You are the boss of your baby – nobody else.
11. How similar is your parenting style to that of your parents? What do you do that is the same, what do you do that is different? Sort of similar. I am more strict than my parents were and I have am very scheduled with my kids.
12. What is the one thing you wish you could give your child but you can't? What can't you? Jack keeps asking if I have made enough money and can I stay home now….I can’t
13. What is the one thing you want to give your child that you never got? Honestly I can’t think of anything
14. Do you believe your children appreciate you? This is not to be confused with loving you or being attached to you. No I don’t actually, I think they take me for granted and don’t appreciate or care what I do – but they are young……
15. How similar are your children to what you imagined you would get when you were pg with them? Nothing at all like I thought.
16. Do you worry about your children's future? What specifically worries you? I worry that Jack won’t be his full potential, he could do anything
17. Do you feel you really, truly know your children? I think I know Jack and Laila I am just really getting to know
18. Do you believe it is your responsibility, as a parent, to nurture your child's dream even if that dream is very far from what you hoped for your child? As long as they are happy
19. What is the biggest thing you have learned from your children? This is not to be confused with what you have learned from motherhood itself...what I am asking is, what has your child taught you as an individual? Patience. Jack will demand patience which I never had much of
20. Describe how motherhood has changed you? Has it changed who you are as a person? It has fulfilled me and made me a happier person, even with the sacrifices
21. Has having a child changed your outlook on life or the world in general? Yes, I am very worried that mean people are going to hurt my kids.
22. If money and practical matters, such as your age, your circumstances, etc were not factors, would you have another child? If yes, how soon would you do it? No I would not.
23. What do you wish childless women knew about mothers? The selflessness
24. This is a bit morbid but if you were to disappear tomorrow, what is the one thing you would want your child to hold on to that is coming from you? I don't mean material things, I mean what is the one thing you hope your child will have gotten/learned from you? I hope they would remember and hold on to and know how much they were loved
25. Is motherhood what you expected it to be? Nope, not at all

Kirstenmumof3 replied: 1. What is the best thing about being a mom? How no matter what they've done, all they have to do is give you that look at it melts your heart.

2. What is the worst/most challenging thing about being a mom? Being away from them. I know that I can see them anytime I want, but sometimes it just doesn't seem like enough.

3. What is the one thing you wish someone had told you about motherhood before you became a mom? That the housework can wait and you don't need a lot of money, you just need love.

4. What is the one thing you would like to do but can't because you're a mom? Move to another city, to further my education.

5. What besides financial matter is your biggest worry when it comes to being a mom? That after everything we've all been through as a family, they won't come out of it okay.

6. Have you ever, even for one split second questioned the wisdom of your decision to become a mom? The timing yes, but I would never trade it for the world.

7. If your child was planned, what made you suddenly decide you are ready to become a mom? Claudia was planned, I just always saw myself with 3 children.

8. If your child was a surprise, what is the one unexpected good surprise that came along with motherhood? (besides the child) That I have a really good relationship with Emily and Spencer.

9. If you could talk to the person you were before becoming a mom, what is the one thing you would like to tell that person? Take time to enjoy the little things, listen to what they say and always be honest with them.

10. If you were asked to offer up advice for a book that was geared toward new or expectant moms and could only offer one piece of advice, what would it be? Enjoy every minute of their childhood.

11. How similar is your parenting style to that of your parents? What do you do that is the same, what do you do that is different? When I was younger I tended to be a lot like my parents, spankings, putting them in the corner. But as I got older and more mature I realized how wrong it was to treat them like that. They are people too.

12. What is the one thing you wish you could give your child but you can't? Why can't you?

13. What is the one thing you want to give your child that you never got? A lot of Love, Patience and Understanding.

14. Do you believe your children appreciate you? This is not to be confused with loving you or being attached to you. Yes

15. How similar are your children to what you imagined you would get when you were pg with them? They are nothing like what I expected them to be.

16. Do you worry about your children's future? What specifically worries you? I worry about Spencers health. I worry that we won't have the money to send Emily to the right University. I worry that my relationship with Claudia will change when she finds out more about my mental health.

17. Do you feel you really, truly know your children? Yes

18. Do you believe it is your responsibility, as a parent, to nurture your child's dream even if that dream is very far from what you hoped for your child? Absolutely, I will encourage them to be whatever they want to be.

19. What is the biggest thing you have learned from your children? This is not to be confused with what you have learned from motherhood itself...what I am asking is, what has your child taught you as an individual? I've learned so much from my children, to many to list.

20. Describe how motherhood has changed you? Has it changed who you are as a person? Motherhood has changed the way I think about my life, and what my priorities are.

21. Has having a child changed your outlook on life or the world in general? I was always suspicious of people I didn't know after I had children.

22. If money and practical matters, such as your age, your circumstances, etc were not factors, would you have another child? If yes, how soon would you do it? I would definately have another child. I want another child so badly, but I know it won't happen.

23. What do you wish childless women knew about mothers? What a great gift motherhood is.

24. This is a bit morbid but if you were to disappear tomorrow, what is the one thing you would want your child to hold on to that is coming from you? I don't mean material things, I mean what is the one thing you hope your child will have gotten/learned from you? That I loved them very much and that I will always be with them in their hearts.

25. Is motherhood what you expected it to be? Definately not.

luvbug00 replied: 1. What is the best thing about being a mom?sharring the love you have unselfishly with another being
2. What is the worst/most challenging thing about being a mom? in my case it's trying to find that somone who is perfect for me but also good for mya
3. What is the one thing you wish someone had told you about motherhood before you became a mom? that labor hurts..alot and an epidural is not just a bee sting of pain
4. What is the one thing you would like to do but can't because you're a mom?
i did the most importent thing to me by becomming a mom.It's always been my number one ambision and dream
5. What besides financial matter is your biggest worry when it comes to being a mom? making sure that mya is always safe and i do my job to raise her as a good person
6. Have you ever, even for one split second questioned the wisdom of your decision to become a mom? Yes, not being a mom per say but more of wither i wanted to be conected with mya's dad for the rest of my life. I honestly rather he had cut and run. I don't regret mya, i just regret that she had to have him for a dad.
7. If your child was planned, what made you suddenly decide you are ready to become a mom? n/a
8. If your child was a surprise, what is the one unexpected good surprise that came along with motherhood? (besides the child) I had more of a bloodline. being adopted it helped myself and my brother to know that our biological family was getting bigger.
9. If youcould talk to the person you were before becoming a mom, what is the one thing you would like to tell that person? you idot
10. If you were asked to offer up advice for a book that was geared toward new or expectant moms and could only offer one piece of advice, what would it be?
Stop and think of the expectations you have for that child, think of the dreams you want that child to fufill and the seccess you want them to have and then trash them because you child will be their own person and no matter how you try to force them to be what you want, they will be who they are and the best thing you can do is to nurish their passions .
11. How similar is your parenting style to that of your parents? What do you do that is the same, what do you do that is different?
I'm super chill. I don't get angry over small things and I have boundries but i've earned respect so that they are rarely pushed anymore.
12. What is the one thing you wish you could give your child but you can't? What can't you?
I wish i could give mya a horse. a big brown horse with beautiful eyes and a light brown mane. sigh..no money to do taht one.
13. What is the one thing you want to give your child that you never got?
A real feeling of belonging, being wanted.
14. Do you believe your children appreciate you? This is not to be confused with loving you or being attached to you.
Mya knows the struggle i go threw every day to protect her and raise her. she thanks me all the time so yes she does.
15. How similar are your children to what you imagined you would get when you were pg with them?
Very, she is my little spitfire and i love it. she pushes boundries yet is compasionate and aware of others feelings. she is just what i imagined.16. Do you worry about your children's future? What specifically worries you?
I worry about the now. because the now is all we may have.
17. Do you feel you really, truly know your children?
I know mya. every look, every smell, every movement of her little body. the change in her voice. her likes and dislikes. I know it because i feel it. it sounds wierd but you just know.
18. Do you believe it is your responsibility, as a parent, to nurture your child's dream even if that dream is very far from what you hoped for your child?
It is soo important that you do this. mya mentioned once being a bus driver and my mom looked at her like she was crazy. i went out and bought her a toy bus to start practice driving with. point made
19. What is the biggest thing you have learned from your children? This is not to be confused with what you have learned from motherhood itself...what I am asking is, what has your child taught you as an individual?
To stop getting mad at stuiped things. this is a new revelation for me. she taught me this recently. i got mad at somehting and she said "ma that's a stuiped thing to be mad about." and she was right.
20. Describe how motherhood has changed you? Has it changed who you are as a person?
It hasn't changed me really just brought out my maternal skills more.
21. Has having a child changed your outlook on life or the world in general?
not really. i still think the way i always have. in fact she confirms my original outlook. boys have coodies, spiders are scary, and coliflower is gross!
22. If money and practical matters, such as your age, your circumstances, etc were not factors, would you have another child? If yes, how soon would you do it?
NOW! none of thease things are factors. i just need a decent man lol!
23. What do you wish childless women knew about mothers?
nothing. being a mother is socially excepted as "natural" but i'd rather a woman who doesn't want children not have them, then for her to have them and not want them.
24. This is a bit morbid but if you were to disappear tomorrow, what is the one thing you would want your child to hold on to that is coming from you? I don't mean material things, I mean what is the one thing you hope your child will have gotten/learned from you?
this makes me want to upchuck concidering i've dreampt about my death many times this past week. I want mya will learn many things. That she can believe in whatever she wants as far as faith and to stand strong in that belief, you only have yourself to answer to in the end. That to love somone compleately you must love them as they are and not who you want them to be. That dreams are made to be followed. Nothing is more important then family ( no matter how cruddy they are).
25. Is motherhood what you expected it to be?
No it is sooo much better

Brias3 replied: 1. What is the best thing about being a mom? Being able to have that love beyond feeling about something in the world, watching them grow and become their own selves
2. What is the worst/most challenging thing about being a mom? Setting aside other things that I always wanted to do in my life was difficult, despite the fact that I'd never change a thing about it. It's also challenging maintaining parts of your former self as well, but worth it!
3. What is the one thing you wish someone had told you about motherhood before you became a mom? How much of a toll parenthood can take on a marriage. On the flip side of that though, I also didn't realize how much deeper I could love Bruce until I had a child with him
4. What is the one thing you would like to do but can't because you're a mom? Travel more- although we've done quite well with the kids along too!
5. What besides financial matter is your biggest worry when it comes to being a mom? I think every mother worries about not being "good" enough at it at one time or another. Like everyone, I want to raise good, happy, healthy, loving individuals and so I think its natural to wonder if you're "doing things right" along the way!
6. Have you ever, even for one split second questioned the wisdom of your decision to become a mom? Questioned my sanity? Yes....daily Decision to be a mom? Never
7. If your child was planned, what made you suddenly decide you are ready to become a mom? Didn't plan Ryan, Aliyah was kind of a "Well, what the heck, let's do this again" No A HA! moment really
8. If your child was a surprise, what is the one unexpected good surprise that came along with motherhood? (besides the child) Mason added such a new dynamic to not only our family, but the sibling relationship between Aliyah and Ryan. It's cool to think of what this baby will bring to the mix
9. If you could talk to the person you were before becoming a mom, what is the one thing you would like to tell that person? I think I would just tell her about the overwhelming satisfaction that comes from being a parent- you can't imagine what feeling that amount of love can bring to your life.
10. If you were asked to offer up advice for a book that was geared toward new or expectant moms and could only offer one piece of advice, what would it be? For months 0-3, sleep when the baby sleeps. Doesn't matter what the house looks like, if dinner isn't made, if you haven't showered. You literally will NOT make it through the newborn stage unless you realize that you just can't do everything, and you can't try and do it all alone!
11. How similar is your parenting style to that of your parents? What do you do that is the same, what do you do that is different? If I am half the mother my mother was, then my kids are darn lucky. I've actually noticed how much alike our parenting styles are, and how much like her I am, which makes me happy. Bruce is very much my dad too, so its comforting to raise our kids in those pretenses.
12. What is the one thing you wish you could give your child but you can't? What can't you?
13. What is the one thing you want to give your child that you never got?
14. Do you believe your children appreciate you? This is not to be confused with loving you or being attached to you. I"m not sure if they can truly grasp that concept yet, but yes- I hope one day they will.
15. How similar are your children to what you imagined you would get when you were pg with them? Ryan's very much like the type of child I guessed I would have, and Aliyah has the girlie qualities I knew I would recreate , but with much more edge. Mason? He's just plain on the other side of the spectrum from what I thought I would have- but he keeps me on my toes and I can't imagine not having that type of spunk in our lives!
16. Do you worry about your children's future? What specifically worries you? I feel most worried about raising kids in the type of world we live in. I have a feeling that they'll deal with things that we would never have dreamed of 50 years ago and that desire to protect them from everything really kicks in.
17. Do you feel you really, truly know your children? Absolutely- though they still can surprise me sometimes!
18. Do you believe it is your responsibility, as a parent, to nurture your child's dream even if that dream is very far from what you hoped for your child? If it brings them joy, then I'll support it. I want them to make their own choices, but I imagine if I'm in the situation, it might be tough at the time!
19. What is the biggest thing you have learned from your children? This is not to be confused with what you have learned from motherhood itself...what I am asking is, what has your child taught you as an individual? That there might be bad all around us, but there's good in the world too, and that's what makes it all worth it. I feel like society can make your views very jaded at times, and looking at the world through my kids eyes- a very non-judgmental, pure perspective- is quite humbling.
20. Describe how motherhood has changed you? Has it changed who you are as a person? I'm a more selfless, loving, and patient individual than I ever imagined I could be.
21. Has having a child changed your outlook on life or the world in general? Definitely- you realize your actions affect things around you, and you want to have the most positive influence possible on the world around you.
22. If money and practical matters, such as your age, your circumstances, etc were not factors, would you have another child? If yes, how soon would you do it? Outside the one coming in a few months , no I wouldn't have another. I think our family will be just perfect the way it is.
23. What do you wish childless women knew about mothers? That motherhood is literally THE hardest job in the world, so you need to be sensitive to those who juggle career and family, and those who are SAHM's too. I don't think women give each other enough credit in life.
24. This is a bit morbid but if you were to disappear tomorrow, what is the one thing you would want your child to hold on to that is coming from you? I don't mean material things, I mean what is the one thing you hope your child will have gotten/learned from you? I would hope they learned that its absolutely essential to always strive to be the best version of yourself- live a life with good intentions and be cognicent of how you affect the world around you. I hope they are learning from me everyday how absolutely essential in life it is to never lose sight of your true self.
25. Is motherhood what you expected it to be? In some ways yes, but most of it is infinitely better than I ever could have thought.