MIL - Why so mean?

holley79 wrote: Ok DH has a lot of divorce in his family, including himself. He has been divorced from his ex for over 10 years but still VERY active with his son. My MIL is like best friends with his ex, which happened after DH and I started dating. I am, of course, the other woman and home wrecker. I have always had to hear about how she loves the ex's children as if they were her own. (This is fine I make sure they have a little something extra every Christmas also, they are kids and it's not fair for stepson to come home with additional gifts. Kids don't understand this stuff.) When I told MIL I was prego she was like "Ok who's is it?" Sorry ballsy to me. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I just was kind of stunned and just moved on. Well when we found out it was a girl then she said that was the clincher, it can't be her son's child. Ok so I go off and ask her how the H E double hockey sticks she can even say this. She said there is nothing but boys in her family. WHATEVER. Ok, so I kind of move on.

My mom sent her a baby shower invitation. Which, if it were up to me because of her atittude, she wouldn't have been invited. (I know for a fact she went to the ex's and bought ALL KINDS of stuff, she made sure DH and I knew about this.) She called my mom on the phone and wanted to know why she was sent a baby shower invitation. UH HELLO. So then of course, me being my mama's baby and the mother of her grandbaby, kind of goes off on her. Well I didn't know anything about this because I was at work. My mom hadn't told me anything about it because she didn't figure it was important and also because she didn't want me upset. Well MIL called me yesterday. She wanted to know if she got an invitation just because I wanted her to buy the BABY something. (I tried to stay calm here.) I told her that wasn't the case. She was family and that was why she was invited. If she couldn't make it I would understand. Well she said that she wasn't buying anything for my child till she knew for sure it was DH's. I told her to hold on. Of course, raging hormonal ***** that I have become, starts crying and tells DH that she's at it again. He, in turn, gets on the phone with her and wants to know what her problem is. He told her he has let it slide and let it slide of how she has treated me. He told her that was going to stop this minute. Unless she was going to be half the MIL that my mom was to him, that she was not to call us anymore. He was so when he got off the phone. Ok, here I am , right. I feel horrible because now I feel that I have come between him and his mom.

He has such a HUGE family. (Just in a nut shell, he has his bio dad w/ his wife, his dad that raised him w/ his wife and his mom.) I technically have 3 MILS. Everyone else I get along with. No one else can stand the ex, they don't even tolerate her because of things from the past. I have eaten crow for the sake of my stepson to where her and I can be in the same room. I turn the other cheek to the fact that ex and MIL sit there and talk about me. What is so wrong with me that she HATES me with that much passion??? I wear my heart on my sleeve to begin with, hormones don't make matters any better. DH called both his dads and their wives. Gave them the run down. Now everyone is SO ticked off. I swear this is going to be a WONDERFUL holiday season.

Thank you for the vent. I know I just need to ignore her but it's just so hard.

Edited: For horrible Grammar.

amynicole21 replied: That is unbelievable! She is wicked... evil... horrible I'm so sorry.

mckayleesmom replied: I would just stop associating with her. If your husband wants to still be involved with his mom, let him. Just let it be known that from here on out, you have NO mother in law...at least not his biological one. As for her being friends with his ex...there nothing you can do about it, but ignore it. You can't choose your mil's, but you can chose who you want to put up with in your life. Did he get along with the ex when she was married to his son? She probably just doesn't want anyone with her son.

holley79 replied:
No they didn't get along before DH and I got together. I even asked DH this one time. I have done nothing to this woman. They were long divorced before I even came into the picture. I have always gone out of my way to make sure she had what she needed. When she was out of work I bought her groceries, gas for her car, paid for perscriptions. Half the stuff Dh didn't know about till afer the fact. I wasn't looking for the DIL of the year award. I just come from a family that helps one another all the time. She just really started getting EVIL when I got pregos. She never really had much voice other then the cold shoulder to DH when she didn't get her way.

I'm not going to surround myself with someone like her. Misery loves company so her and ex can have it. She will pick a fight with her own son so it's not just me. How a mother does this to her child is beyond me. Oh well. To each is their own. I just got a very long email from her about what a horrible person I am because I'm not going to be a SAHM. I give up. I'm not even responding to her. She's not worth the heartache.

Thank you for the I needed them. I'm afraid to tell my mom, she's liable to go postal. LOL.

mckayleesmom replied: I knew it....she just doesn't want anyone with her son. Just cut off contact...you don't need that stress.

holley79 replied:
I plan on it. My job is stressful enough without the family adding to it.

Well I need to get into bed. It is almost 9 am our time and I have to work tonight. YIPPEE. Hopefully all the kids will behave.

MomToMany replied: OMG ! I wouldn't associate with her either! I hope she doesn't plan on seeing her granddaughter! She doesn't deserve to !

Sarah&Mackenzie replied: I agree with everyone!! I can't believe she said this wasn't your DH's baby, what nerve that women has. to you!!!!

ilovemybaby replied: What a B****! OMG I'm so sorry you have a MIL like that. I think you've done a great job controlling your emotions though especially as you are pregnant ... I know I would have disowned her a long time ago! I hope she changes soon for your sake. UGH And I thought my MIL was bad!

I hope things get better soon.

amymom replied: Holley,
OMG I am so sorry.

I was going to vent about my MIL but you showed me that some are worse off, much worse off than I am. My MIL could be considered a saint compared to what you put up with. Take care.

You said it better than me.

holley79 replied: I appreciate all the here. I really needed it. I have been busy here at work tonight so not a lot of time to pass.

MIL will either learn to "tolerate" me or she will not have anything do to with Annika. I have never been unfaithful to her son, so where she got the not his child idea is WAY beyond me. DH is to the point of disownment also. I hate that because I come from such a caring and compassionate family. Luckily he has his dads and their wives. It's just a shame that she can not share in the joy of this new baby. I have been getting emails from her all day today. I just check my emial and they were there. I read through a few and saw where she was going. I just deleted the rest.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful week.

to everyone!!!!!!!!!

amymom replied:

Good idea You don't need that kind of poison in your life right now.

Take care!