Lucas Smoking!!!! - Feeling so lost!!
martzfam27 wrote:  I caught Lucas smoking in his room today  Of course they were MY cigarettes that he must have took when I wasnt paying attention  I smelt it all the way in the living room, that's how I caught him.
I'm at a loss for what to do. What is an apropriate punishment? Any ideas would be really welcomed. I made him stay in his room and had a long talk with him, but I don't know what an apropriate punishment would be.
I never thought this would happen. I mean Ive smoked ever since he started living with me and hes never showed any interest. Ive talked to him over and over the dangers of smoking and here he goes and smokes any way  I guess it shouldn't shock me, since he sees mom smoke almost a pack a day. But still. What happened to my baby? 
PrairieMom replied: Don't know what to tell ya. MAybe you can lead by example and show him you mean what you say by quitting your self. (Maybe thats just the respiratory Therapist in me talking. ) 
luvbug00 replied: I tried it at his age and my parents handed me a pack and made me smoke it all.  extreme but it worked. I think for a first offence taking somthing he really enjoys away may be the right road here.
Maddie&EthansMom replied: He's 11 years old, smoking cigarettes in his bedroom and his favorite song is "Hits from the bong" I definitely agree that something needs to be done sooner rather than later. 
CantWait replied:
ITA.
redchief replied:
Behavior modification is definitely in order. Perhaps yours as well. Do you smoke in the house? If you do, I suggest you move outdoors. Lock your cigarettes up and carry the key with you. Bare down his bedroom to necessities, if you feel the need (and that would include the stereo and computer if he has those in there; they can be moved to a more visible place in the house). I think it's tough love time for Lucas.
Nina J replied: I agree with Tara. Set an example
martzfam27 replied:
Already done... I took away his computer, his ipod, the tv and radio from his room. Since its only the first time Im not getting any of that back for only one week. Right now he's still in his room and pretty quite... So far
WaitingForBaby replied: I would make him smoke it right front of you and your dh and tell him show us, and tell him you want to watch him get yellow teeth and sneak, I bet that would scare him out of his pants
Jackie012007 replied: well being a child of a former smoker, I hate to tell you, but it is often a learned behavior. I watched my mom smoke for years and I smoked my first cig when I was about his age... and later on started smoking pretty regularly when I was 16, and then heavily until I quit just before my 22nd birthday! With children of smokers, they are usually either revolted by it (as my DF is) or they do it too... it's kinda hard to punish a kid for something you do around him, and he may think it's okay because his parents do it. I agree with Tara, perhaps it is time to set an example by quitting yourself... JMHO as a kid of a former smoker 
Nina J replied: I had a thought. Why don't you get pictures of the web of a smokers lungs, and show him how they go black and disgusting from the tar. And pictures of people with mouth cancer from smoking.
Show him how bad it really is.
martzfam27 replied:
Thats exactly what I plan to do tomorrow. Im even hesitent (to lazy to spell check)to send him to school tomorrow Im so mad right now But school just started and he missed so much school last year so I'll probabily send him. As for quiting myself I dont know if Im ready to go through that again. I mean I smoked when I was in my 20's (not nearly as heavy as I do now) and quit cold turkey when I was pregnant with Patricia. Then I never went back until Patricia died. I guess it was one of my ways of dealing with my loss
Jackie012007 replied: the quitting thing is hard... you have to want it for yourself really for you to be successful. I completely understand why you would start back up again, I struggled with it while going through tough times (but not NEARLY as hard a time as I'm sure you had with your daughter's death) I'm sorry for your loss and when you really want to quit, you will know it's the right time
Halo42101 replied:
Bee_Kay replied:
That is exactly what I did when I found out my Ashley was smoking. It was heartbreaking.......
So, I up and quit and I am still doing great... check my siggy
Maddie&EthansMom replied:
WOW BARB!!! I'm so proud of you!! What are you going to do with all that money you are saving?? 
Good job!! You have such strong will power. 
Bee_Kay replied:
Thanks Aimee!!!!
I am using the quit-smoking lozenges (kinda like the gum stuff), so I am actually not saving quite as much as my siggy says.
I think, so far, the cost of the lozenges has been approx $200.00. So, I am saving a bit 
Ashley has said "buh-bye" to her attempt at being a smoker. She felt so darn guilty, I think that problem has been put to rest. Besides, since I am now an ex-smoker, I can smell a smoker if they come anywhere near me..... So, I told Ashley I'd be able to smell it on her the second she walked in the door 
On August 23, it will be 2 months for me
(my siggy doesn't add with months, just weeks)
Cece00 replied: Well, first off, YOU need to quit.
And then I would punish him, probably pretty harshly. You took his stuff away, so thats good. I'd keep it at LEAST 2 weeks.
Then I dont think there would be any TV, going to friends houses, etc etc etc for 2 weeks or more.
Then there would be LOTS of extra chores...almost like slave labor.
Then we'd have long, long discussions daily about the dangers of smoking, about what smoking does to you, and how DANGEROUS it was for him to smoke in the house, since he couldve burned it down.
& I'm sure I'd think up some other ways to punish him, too, once I got to thinking about it.
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