Lossing OMA - reality hit hard..

luvbug00 wrote: My Oma ( grandmother) is currently living in an assisted living facility and I try to visit her as much as I can. She has senile dementia. and has been "flakey" but still had a good memory. until today..as you all know i am VERY close to her and she means the world to me. Today when I visited her she was gone. Her eyes showed blank and the spirit I loved about her is gone. It got worse.. she looked at me like she had no Idea who I was and then looked at Mya and she said " who is that pretty little girl?" She didn't remember us she didn't know her Mya. Her favorite grandbaby!! I feel like I have lost her compleately! She looked and acted like a stranger to me!! I didn't want to see her today because I had a feeling somthing bad would happen. I don't know If I can bring myself to see her again..

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I am so sorry! My Grandma Katy was the same way at the end of her life~it is very difficult! to you and Mya...I will be praying for you!

CantWait replied: I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now. I can only relate to how much I love my grandma, and how close we are. You're doing the best you can, and in some very odd way I bet those visits mean the world to her, even if she doesn't remember you in that moment.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Nadia, First HUGS to you. Second, I know how hard this is. Both of my great grandmothers had Alzheimer's. And they both lived LONG lives too. I was 21 when one passed away and 26 when the other died. But I know how torn you feel, I also had a very hard time visiting them. In fact I only visited each of them twice before I lost them. I regret that. It was also due to the fact that I lived in Wyoming and they were in Colorado and Michigan, but still, they were wonderful women and I wish I had seen more of them. That being said, don't force yourself to go more often than you are comfortable. When your Oma does pass away, you will want to remember the good times. The cookie baking, shopping, decorating, whatever you did with her before her decline.

redchief replied: Aww Nadia.... I'm so sorry. I watched the same thing happen to my neighbor. It was a very sad thing to watch.

holley79 replied:

To you both. It is hard. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: That must have been so awful for you! Your Grandmother might not be the same person anymore, but I'm sure she loved you very much!

amymom replied: I am sorry that you are dealing with this. Take care.

luvbug00 replied: Thanks you guys I think i'm going to try and visita again today with a picture book and remind her of all of her family and how much we love her.

owensmomma replied: I am so sorry sweetie. Many prayers for your Oma!

Sarah&Mackenzie replied: Nadia I am so sorry!!! My family is going through this with my great aunt, it is hard to watch!! I will pray for you and your Oma!!!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Nadia, I'm so sorry to hear this. I have only one living grandmother left and it's so hard to see her because she goes down hill every month. So I somewhat understand. But I tell myself, it's a part of life and even if she doesn't recognize me, something in her heart will tell her I'm there. All I can offer are . And btw, my MIL is Oma to Wil, so the name means a lot in our family too. I can't wait until he can actually say it!

TANNER'S MOM replied: Nadia,

I am so sorry I have been thru this.. And it is hard. But I tried to think of it as my Granny Bob being in her own world. The world where my Grandfather was, and where my Aunts and Uncles she had lost were.

It was hard.. I remember her not remembering me.... but talking about me as a child. And not know the adult me.

I too was very close to my grandmother.. she was the closest thing to a Saint.. I have ever touched.. and I can still smell ever now and then.. on a pretty spring day.. I can be outside looking around.. and her smell will hit me.. and it brings a smile to my face. Sometimes in my car.. just me in there .. and the smell hits me..

Just take your in heart and all your sences in remembering the good stuff.. Even if Oma is in her own world.. Take in her smell and how she feels.. b/c that is the stuff that will last forever. And think of her mind..as being in her best time ever.. being in the time when her and Nadia used to sit and play. And when she met your daughter for the first time...

I am sorry, and age isn't always nice.. I am thinking of you!

Mel

mom21kid2dogs replied: It's so hard the first time they don't recognize you. I really hate that part of aging!! My grandma and Stephen's father both developed dementia at the end of their lives. For us, though, it did get easier after the initial shock of it. We were actually able to have some fun with it. My Grammy decided my husband was "hot" and used remark all the time about how if she was a younger woman she'd go after him! We never made fun of her behind her back but included her in it all. She always got a giggle out of it as did we. I could still appreciate her candor and humor this way even though lots of my old "Gammy" was gone.

Hope this gets a little easier for you, too!

MyBrownEyedBoy replied:
Me too. My Nana smelled like Jergen's lotion. The kind that smells like almond extract.

mammag replied: Nadia, it was the same with my Grandma. She was like a little kid one of the last times I got to see her. She was afraid Kristen (she was 2 at the time) might try to take home one of her baby dolls. Not at all the strong woman she had been. I didn't go see her much because it was soooo hard and now that she is gone I regret it because she was the best woman I have ever known or will know. Like Mel's grandma, she almost seemed saint-like.

I wondered sometimes if maybe God knew that losing her in her prior state would have been too much for our family to take and he needed to let us lose her slowly....

Anyway, my heart goes out to you and your granny.

3xsthefun replied: I'm so sorry.

My3LilMonkeys replied: I'm so sorry. I know this is a difficult thing. My grandfather has advanced Alzheimer's and lives with my parents. One afternoon I stopped by with Brooke to give him his medicines (both parents were working, his caretaker need the day off because her first grandbaby was born and he can't remember to do it on his own) and he threatened to call the police when I left because he thought I was a stranger who came to steal Brooke (my DD). I had to hide the phone from him and cried the whole way home.

I hope things get better for you.