Law & Order SVU - ***warning... disturbing***

kimberley wrote: i just watched the most disturbing episode of SVU a teen boy, who was molested/abused by his dad at a young age, was caught molesting his little brother and found to have made a kid porn website with over a thousand members with live feeds and pics of him and his brother. so sick! then those "friends" from his website kidnapped him when they heard the police were going to arrest him to shut him up. in the end the kid realized he was wrong and said sorry to his mom.. i cried.

my question to you all, (and i pray this never happens to anyone!), what would you do if that was your son? what if your child committed a murder or other diplorable crime?

my instinct is to think i would love my child no matter what but i don't know... especially when that one child hurts another child of mine.

mummy2girls replied: im not sure what i would do... it a scraey problem out there and a situation i hope and pray to god i dont have to see:( I saw the episode as well and man it was a eye opener for sure!

5littleladies replied: Wow, that sounds like a heavy episode.

I have no idea what I would do in a situation like that. I've always been of the opinion that, while I may not always like my children, I will always love them-no matter what. I believe love is a choice as much as it is a feeling and might be so (a choice) in this instance. I would most definitely hold my child accountable for his/her actions, and I would most likely remove them from my home, but I would still love them. This one is a toughie!

Brias3 replied: Wow, sounds like a tough episode. I can say that I'm glad I missed this one, stuff like that always really gets to me.

I can't say what I'd do in that situation. I'm sure that a "I can love you but don't need to like you" thing would be at the forefront.

ashtonsmama replied: One of my favorite shows. But didn't get to watch tonight's episode. But in my case, I'd have to say that my gut feeling is the same as yours, Kimberley...I think I'm going to love my child in my heart, no matter what he does. But that doesn't mean that I will always like what he does and approve of wrong things he could do.

KWIM?

Nina J replied: I couldn't honestly say unless I was faced with a situation like that. But I can never imagine myself falling out of love with my children, for any reason. To me, it's just inconceivable.

I would still love the child who commited the crime, but there would, I imagine, be come sort of resentment or ill feelings. It would change the whole aspect of my relationship with the child, but I wouldn't be able to stop loving him, not when it's my child.

I hope nothing like this ever happens to me or anyone here, it's just unimaginable to think.

holley79 replied: My mom and I have talked in length about this. Working for the Sheriff's Office and seeing what kids do I always ask myself what I would no in their parents' shoes. I do know what I would still love my child but I would defiantly hold him/ her accountable for their actions. I would not make excuses for them, as I see many parents do. I guess when it comes right down to it, I don't know what I would honestly do.

I hope and pray that none of us are ever put in that position.

gr33n3y3z replied: I saw it also
If it were my kid he/her would pay for the crime no mater what with no help from me what so ever
as for loving that child yes I would BUT I wouldnt be able to look them in the eyes either maybe over time I would.

Thats how I feel now but if it ever happend for real I dont know exactly no one can know

BAC'sMom replied:

I agree totally

redchief replied: Lisa already rang in on how she would feel, and my own emotions and reactions would be similar.

I don't believe love is a choice. I believe it to be an emotion that is enhanced or wanes as events of life dictate. Among the strongest and most emotionally powerful acts we commit as adults is that of procreation; making young of our flesh and blood. I also believe that procreation is so powerful an act that it would take multiple, personal and hideous acts for the love embedded within the relationship wane to the point of nonexistence.

My disappointment would be the strongest emotion. The question of how could a child I helped create commit such a heinous act would be forthright in my mind. I would inevitably see my own failures in such an analysis, therefore granting some absolution for the crimes as I placed at least some of the blame on myself. In the end, the hardest question I would have to answer would be my own worthiness to be a parent. In the example Kimberley put up regarding SVU, my failure as a parent would have been in not recognizing the signs of abuse in my child, if I were the "innocent" parent.

The worldwide problems of child sexual abuse and child pornography are finally getting their due. Neither the experts or I believe this to be a new problem. I believe that child abuse has always been a dirty little family secret that, with the advent and proliferation of the internet, has become public. I know people who can tell you the numbers of children who were sexually, physically, and/or mentally abused growing up while I was growing, and the numbers are not only astounding, but deeply disturbing. Kids I grew up with in school, that I thought had homes as normal as mine, must have been included in those numbers, the percentages are so high. I must say those boys and girls were very good at hiding what they thought of as their own personal shame. I know this is true on a more personal level as well, though I am not free to discuss it here.

Given the fact that there's often family history, and plenty of formative blame to go around, I don't think I could not continue to love a child of mine. But I would definitely be looking at my own faults, and I would be terribly saddened and hurt.


Edited for really bad grammar.

C&K*s Mommie replied: hugs for you Ed.

IDK my heart would break over and over. But as Ed said, I would have to examine myself for the questions and answers. I would say that I would continue to love that child, I truly would. But it would be difficult to not blame myself, but I would love that child even more.

kayla's mama replied: I saw that show too. It made me so angry but sad at the same time, if that make sense.

I hope that I'm never put into a situation like that but I would love my child and try to get the help that he needs. But on the other hand I don't think that I would be able to look at them in their eyes. I would think that the family as a whole would have to undergo some serious counseling.

I really hope and pray that none of us on here will ever have to go through something like that.