Lauren is KILLING ME!!!

kit_kats_mom wrote: Good gravy. My MIL came to town to help so I could get the bulk of my work done. This is my busiest time of the year but after this two month period it will slow back down. Well, Lauren has screamed and cried the whole time that MIL has been watching her...every day. It makes it really hard for me to concentrate and get my work done so I've gotten very little accomplished. Now MIL is leaving on Sunday morning instead of Monday Night due to Wilma, which means even less time to get work done.

I don't know if it's still her teeth (I think I see another one coming in), seperation anxiety, gas or what. Poor girl is just miserable. I also have a bit of guilt because I put her in her crib to cry so I could eat dinner one night. She was just screaming and was wiggly and I could not eat. The kicker was when she kicked my plate off of the table and it shattered. My dishes were my grandmothers and they are really hard to find. Plus, I was totally embarassed since it was just me, K, MIL & Lauren and it appeared that I had no control over my kids at all. She was only in there for maybe 10 mintues but it took me half an hour to calm her down afterwards. Now her seperation anxiety seems even worse. She's only happy when I'm holding her but I can not type with her in my lap or in the sling because she's grabby mc grabberson.

I feel bad all around. I'm feeling sorry for Lauren, Sorry for my MIL (who is doing everything right) and sorry for myself.

kimberley replied: oh hon, i think we all have those moments. i wish i could come help you out. Lauren is probably going thru a growth spurt/teething and a bit of separation anxiety and there is only so much you or MIL can do. i have been in similar dinner situations where i just let Jade scream so i could eat 2 bites of food. remember, we are not supermoms and will kill ourselves if we try to be. it is far better for baby to exercise her lungs than for us to lose it on them. maybe MIL can take her for a walk or car ride? and i am sure MIL fully understands days like that and wouldn't judge you for it. hang in there sweetie. vent away.. we are here to listen.

amynicole21 replied: Things like this only happen when you can least afford to deal with them I'm sorry.

A&A'smommy replied: I have been through times like that with and so I kinda understand your frustration!! I hope she will start doing better soon!!!

coasterqueen replied: Cary,

If it makes you feel any better I'm having the SAME issues with Megan. Seriously. If I'm not holding her 24/7 or playing with her every tiny second she screams and cries and so on and so on. It's making things very difficult for me because I'm the only one here and Kylie is getting NIL of my attention.

I keep chalking it up to teeth but then I keep going back in forth between is it teeth or is it the clingy stage. I just can't tell which one it is.

My mom took the girls for a couple of hours last Saturday so I could clean the house and she said Megan screamed and cried the entire time she was with her. My mom was a little upset with me telling me I spoil her. Yeah,right mom, I'm just trying to survive here alone with 2 kids....I'm going out of my way to spoil her...yeah right.

I wish we both had some answers and some RELIEF. If you find out what's bothering her....please let me know.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I am sorry! I know it is driving the mommy in you crazy! She will be fine-probably a combo of teeth and missing mommy's undivided attention! Taylor NEEDS something RIGHT NOW everytime I get on the phone or leave the room to tinkle for that matter They figure out that they can make us listen! If MIL is doing everything right then I would say just try to get your work done. She will be ok!

kit_kats_mom replied:
Yeah, mine is hinting at the spoiling thing too. It's been 4 days now. You'd think Lauren would get the message that MIL is ok.

Thanks for the hugs guys. It does help when you know someone else has been there.

jdkjd replied: Could she possibly take her to the park and plop her in a swing for a break? I know Kiera is much better with other people when I'm not around...

Or maybe she could take her and stroll her around the mall for awhile-is there another place than home that Lauren really enjoys?

MommyToAshley replied:
I was going to suggest the same thing. If she sees you, or even if she is at home where she knows Mommy is, then she is going to want Mommy over anyone else. But, a change of scenery might do you all good!

DansMom replied: this is a needy age, isn't it? That sounds like a lot of no-fun. I hope you can get something done today and tomorrow!

kit_kats_mom replied:
Well, she's kinda old & the heat doesn't agree with her. She has gone on a few short strolls in the am & at dusk but the humidity is really high (thanks Wilma ) & it's almost 90. I would send them to the mall but it's about 30 minutes away & frankly MIL is no good at directions. She'd get lost or wreck my car on the interstate
I'd thought of sending her to Target but the lack of common sense scares me. She hasn't figured out how to work the carseat yet (even though I've shown her twice every day) & it may be too heavy for her. Lauren is sleeping on me now.

My2Beauties replied: Bless your heart hon! We have all BTDT, I remember times where I did the same thing, I let Hanna cry in her swing or her crib so that I could eat, tinkle, or go into my bedrom and scream my lungs out too I am so sorry, I hope this passes and I hope Ms Lauren warms up to g-ma sometime soon

Kaitlin'smom replied: gosh I wish I could come help you and Karen. I thought about that to a change of senery but you already responded so I have nothing more to offer than a

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Eep. Been there.... it's not fun.

Both my kids are asful with us. When they're at my in-laws, or with my mom, or at the sitters, or whenever we're not around, they're ANGELS. It's very frustrating. More than once I've put them in their rooms and frigged off in my bathroom for like 10 minutes to calm down....erg.

Do you have a laptop? Is there any way that YOU can leave the house to work somewhere else? Maybe go to an internet cafe or something to get some work done?

jcc64 replied: Oh Cary, I feel for you, I really do. The working at home thing is really a blessing and a curse, although it sounds like more of the latter right now. Is your desk right in the middle of everything, or do you have a separate office? The only way I can work undisturbed is if I say good-bye and shut my office door as if I was leaving the house entirely. If the kids cried, it was up to the sitter to deal with it. Is that what's going on at your house? Because if you have to run interference every time Lauren is upset, no one is going to get used to Mommy working- not baby, not you, not MIL. But I suspect you already know this. To me, it sounds like a separation issue, and the only way through it is...through it, kwim (isn't that helpful?). I think underneath the surface, you're afraid that Lauren's less than accomodating behavior is a bad reflection on your parenting in MIL's eyes, and it's making it hard for you to concentrate.
I went through some of that with my own mother. Corey was at times a pain in the behind, and my mother would insinuate that I was over-indulging her. I think from her perspective, she needed to blame it on something other than her own shortcomings as a grandma. From my perspective, I needed to blame it on something other than my own parenting choices, and from Corey's perspective, she just wanted what she wanted. (whatever that was, at the time). Try not to take any of it personally, and ignore the screaming as best you can (Lauren and MIL WILL survive), and get as much work done as you can before the hurricane comes. Put head phones on and listen to music or talk radio if you have to. When Lauren's 13, she's not gonna end up in therapy because you wanted to eat dinner while she was screaming for no apparent reason when she was 9 months old (you might, on the other hand. )
Good luck, sister.

Jamison'smama replied: We are going through the seperation thing here too---so I'm just sending support. What about doing the bulk of your work in the evenings and weekends for a while and let DH be the primary during those times? Also, a backpack may work better than a sling for little grabby hands when you are on the computer.

It is hard to get stuff done here too--I crave those napping moments and they are so short lived these days. As far as grandma goes, can she do bathtime during the day, is L loving baths right now? ---Jack will play in the tub for quite some --if you have to keep a routine at night, a second bath wouldn't hurt.

Hang in there--

kit_kats_mom replied:
oooh bathtime! That's a good idea. I think I will reccomend that when I get a break. Thanks!

I do have my own office and I've closed the door but it does just break my heart to hear her screaming. I KNOW MIL isn't pinching her but from the sound of the cries youd think she was.