Kids getting gifts throughout the year

DVFlyer wrote: So I was sitting around the other day when my wife came home with a couple trinkets for the children. It occurred to me that I don't remember getting gifts throughout the year as a child. Not that it never happened, but the way it usually went was:

Me: Oooh, dad. Look at at that cool airplane! Can you buy that for me?

Dad: If you're good, maybe we can get it for you for your birthday or Christmas.

I don't know as we've ever said that to our kids.....although I've started doing it after this epiphany I had. And it's not like we're rich, it's just that it hasn't been the "norm". Plus, we don't usually get them much for the holidays since they get plenty from family and friends.

Not counting school clothes and necessities, I think I'll start to limit their toy purchases until the holidays.

Anyone else in my shoes?

moped replied: Totally with you - I was raised very much as "We'll see if you are good at Birthday and Christmas"....now my kids are more spoiled than i was but we don't go way overboard for holidays and stuff, they do get lots from family (sometimes I wish they would down scale too)......not only is it was too overwhelming but not necessary. I do get them stuff throught the year, but I mean a $1 hot wheels if I think he deserves it - and by the way that hot wheels will keep him happy FOREVER!!!!!!

I do tend to spend a lot of clothes for them, but I love clothes, I know it is bad, but I love to shop.

Honestly I think parenting has changed so much over the years, 37 years ago doesn't really seem that long ago, but I was raised VERY old school!!! I think I also raise my children old school as well.

Good post DVFlyer!

mckayleesmom replied: Ours was the same way when I was a kid, except we would occassionally get a FAMILY ACTIVITY GIFT.....something that came with doing something together. I grew up close to Disney, Knotts Berry Farm and Raging Waters in California...so we got alot of season passes to that kind of stuff too.


My kids little things here and there...They get a 5 dollar allowance..and they have to buy the silly things they want with that.

CantWait replied: It depends, I'm not one to get my kids big ticket items throughout the year, we save these for birthdays, Easter, and Christmas, but for a really great report card, a change in season (like spring and summer where we get new sand pails, shovels etc...and even this is saved for Easter most times), I'll also pick them up little trinkets at the dollar store if there is something there they may like.

Clothes are a different story, I will buy them lots of clothes if needed, but I also don't buy all the "in" style stuff. When wheelies came out, that was OUT OF THE QUESTION, I shop a lot at Zellers, Walmart and Old Navy.

I'm certainly not one for over spoiling on material items. I've seen some parents that everytime their kid asks for something they buy it for them, even if they say no a hundred times, they eventually break down. What does that teach them?

Money was tight when I was growing up, so special occassions were the only time I got something new, unless it was from my grandma who spoiled me. Even she knew how to say no sometimes.

stella6979 replied: I will get Avery little things here and there but nothing spectacular and she knows not to even ask for anything when we walk into a store. If it's been awhile and she was a good girl while I was shopping, sometimes, I'll find a small $5.00 toy for her, but she definitely doesn't expect it. I have a friend that I will never go shopping with cause it's an absolute nightmare. She buys her daughter something everytime they enter a store, doesn't matter if it's a huge department store or flippin CVS....she ALWAYS gets her something and if she does say no, all hell breaks loose and she ends up buying her something anyways. Drives me batty!!!!!!!
As for the Holidays, if we have it, we do tend to spend a bit more than we should.

My2Beauties replied: I think Brian is really bad about giving in to the kids. I, on the other hand, am not. When Hanna goes to the store with me, I'll tell her beforehand - absolutely under no circumstances are you to ask me for a toy. Every once in a while if she has been super super good the past few days I'll get her a little something, but not very much. The grandparents in both our families spoil them completely rotten to the point where they get something all the time from them. Now I admit we have went overboard on b'days and Christmas. I've really scaled down on Christmas this year, I had a $200 limit for each child this year, something we've forbidden ourselves to go over only because we want to pay things off and not go further in debt, this is our goal for 2009 and each year our debt always starts off with Christmas and it accumulates throughout the year! Last year we literally spent a few thousand on Christmas for everyone and that is just uncalled for. I didn't even realize we spent that much honestly. Brian is really bad about Des especially when it comes to clothes and shoes. Every month or two the kid says she needs a new pair of shoes and he always gives in. I'm bad about shoes and clothes too with Hanna and Aubrey but their shoes are like $14 at Wal-Mart - Des's are at least $100 everytime.

AlexsPajamaMama replied: I dont buy him toys through out the year
He gets clothes and shoes when he needs them thats about it.

My3LilMonkeys replied: We buy little things throughout the year - books, crayons, small toys - probably something once a month or so for each kid.

luvmykids replied: We do get something here and there during the year but nothing major...mostly seasonal type stuff like outdoor toys (squirt guns, balls, etc) or craft supplies. Once in awhile I'll suprise them and take them to Walmart and tell them they can each spend $10. But that is pretty rare.

I don't remember ever getting a toy from my parents other than Christmas or birthdays. Grandparents were another story, and so are my kids' grandparents

redchief replied: We always tried to limit gift giving like that to birthdays and Christmas too. As they got older we even began to combine since their gift requests increased in value with their ages.

MommyToAshley replied:
Same here... I'll pick up little things here and there like coloring books, crayons, crafty stuff or seasonal stuff like sidewalk chalk but nothing major. If we go some place on vacation or a special place, I usually let her pick out a souvenir. The bigger gifts are usually for birthdays and Christmas. She also saves up her allowance for bigger items, like games for her Nintendo DS. (Although DH does buy her a game for the Xbox every now and then because it's something that they do together)

I have to admit Ashley could do without a lot of the stuff she has. But, she is very appreciative of what she has and certainly doesn't expect to be given anything.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: My kids ask "can I have that for my birthday?" if that tells you anything.

They don't get an allowance, and the only stuff I buy really, is coloring books, craft supplies, crayons etc... things that they do on a regular basis... ebcause let's face it, those aren't really toys... I like to play videogames to entertain myself.. they color.

Kaitlin'smom replied: not really only on rare occasions she will get a new toy and usually its when she has money she will want to spend some of it. other wises it might be something seasonal or craft stuff but I dont consider those things toys.

DVFlyer replied: Ya, I don't really consider crayons and craft stuff toys. Probably because those things wear out and can't be used. i.e. a crayon wears down to nothing.. although I can't remember the last time I saw a crayon get used down to nothing.

Crystalina replied: I'm bad at giving in at the checkout counter. It used to be just candy there, then small cheap toys but now I'm noticing some of the toys being put there are pricier. My kids don't realize that just because it's a tiny item does not mean it's cheap. They do get an allowance so I usually make them use their own money but I'm bad at giving them the difference if they don't have enough. When DH is with me (most of the time) they do not get extra money and they get no extras. I'm a softy but I also have to say that they do not always ask for things so I take that into consideration when they actually do.

Brias3 replied: Typically, its a special occasion if they get something outside of a birthday or holiday. They certainly are "spoiled" in other respects, so I completely won't have ANY part of whining about getting something each time we enter a store. (With Dad and the grandparents, sometimes its a different story )

A friend of mine is like that and it drives me nutty! I couldn't imagine not even being able to go to Walgreens without everyone picking a special item out